My position on this is that since masturbation cannot be classified as a sin (with the obvious exceptions of lusting, using porn during the act, etc.) then it is something which can be glorifying to God. And we are commanded to glorify God in everything we do. The Bible also states that we are to rejoice in all things and give thanks in all things. Why should masturbation be any different? An attitude of praise to God for his wonderful gifts, for the pleasure He is allowing you to feel, and for the promise of an eventual fulfillment of your sexuality in marriage are all "safe" things to think about.
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Not fundie, this is actually reasonable.
It's fundie because it assumes absolutely everything that exists must be directly connected to god somehow, either glorifying or defying him - the possibility that something could exist that simply has nothing to do with god, that god just might not give a fuck whether you jerked off or not and that it's none of his business anyway, isn't even considered.
So... the rapture's going to happen because the fundies aren't beating off (hard?) enough?
If you'll excuse me I'm going on a date with princess palm and her five lovely daughters, to ensure the safety of the planet of course....
Can anyone masturbate and achieve orgasm without some lust during the process?
If you can, Dale, more power to ya!
This is actually a lot healthier than the hideous guilt and awful fate that used to be associated with masturbation. Are you terrified of death from spermatorrhea? Does Satan watch your every stroke? Then wear this cunningly crafted ring with the little spikes on the inside...
More power to his elbow, I say.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and shave the palms of my hands.
"since masturbation cannot be classified as a sin (with the obvious exceptions of lusting," Lemme guess ... when you masturbate, you fantasize about how pretty the flowers are, and how much you'd like a puppy, right?
I've been avoiding this, but:
Come, Lord Jesus! Oh, The Rapture!!!
P.S. Hence Christains. And Pastor Tissues.
An attitude of praise to God for his wonderful gifts, for the pleasure He is allowing you to feel, and for the promise of an eventual fulfillment of your sexuality in marriage are all "safe" things to think about.
If that's the sort of thing that gets you hard, it must be really difficult for you to sit still in church...
I've just found this on the same thread:
"What I meant to say was, you can think of cartoons as long as you're not lusting after the cartoon characters. If you want to whack it while thinking about how funny the last episode of _______ was, go for it. But if you want to whack it while thinking about how hot some animated girl is, that's lust and therefore wrong."
LoneWolf, are you listening?
Hmm, I agree that that's a refreshing attitude, compared to some. But I do have a question: Sometimes when I'm using my little battery-operated friend, I like to think about Steve Coogan. Among his roles were Jesus in the play-within-the-movie in Hamlet 2 ; a guy who compared himself to Jesus in Tropic Thunder ; and God himself at the end of 24 Hour Party People . (Oh, and Sunday's the day his character Tony Ferrino likes to take a break from getting it on with numerous chicks.) So, as far as the glorifying-God-while-masturbating goes, that counts, right?
On the one hand, at least he's not spouting off how it'll curve your spine, grow hair on your palms, or make you go blind.
On the other, this is kind of... okay, *really* creepy.
::scootches away slowly::
It's fundie, in that you must not lust during masturbation, but think about puppies, flowers, and God's plans for you.
@Brain_In_A_Jar
" 2008-Sep-19 05:13 PM
Not fundie, this is actually reasonable.
It's fundie because it assumes absolutely everything that exists must be directly connected to god somehow, either glorifying or defying him - the possibility that something could exist that simply has nothing to do with god, that god just might not give a fuck whether you jerked off or not and that it's none of his business anyway, isn't even considered. "
Everything that exists IS connected to God - being omnipotent, God is then also omnipresent. Also by being the source of all things regardless of how you view creation, all things are therefore connected to God, albeit by X degrees of separation.
@ Everyone Else
It's entirely possible to think about someone in a loving and passionate way while masturbating as opposed to lusting, although admittedly this is quite difficult.
The list of "safe" things is kind of lulzy, but I have to give him points for taking a healthy attitude towards masturbation. Fundie, perhaps, but a far miss in the "darnedest things" category.
Thanks man. Following your logic, let's apply it to sex, marital or not, killing, stealing, etc...................
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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