Quote# 4812

Two cops also passed me by on the way home, <u>it's a damn gurantee I would have been pulled over and arrested</u> if God had not intervened. Current science could not explain any of these events to me sufficiently. There is no way to explain my sudden regain of complete and perfect control in my drunken state (about 12 beers, thats a LOT for me). [Emphasis addeed]

UserFriendly, BlizzForums 20 Comments [10/1/2003 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 12

Username  (Login)
Comment  (Text formatting help) 

1 | bottom


You must have pissed all of the beer out of your system before the coppers got near you. Did you check your pants afterwards?

1/28/2007 1:21:29 PM


God aids criminals now? What about Kent Hovind? Were his actions a bit too honest for God's tastes?

1/28/2007 1:30:38 PM


If I believed any of that b.s. my money would be on, that it was the devil who helped him. So that he would do it again, run over some kid, who's mom would then get a shotgun and send a bullet through this guys empty head, sending his drunkdriving soul straight to hell.

1/28/2007 1:57:07 PM

Dave Bailey/Darwin

So let me get this straight; your god protects drunk drivers?

Then your god is a fucktard cocksucker who deserves nothing but contempt and hatred.

1/28/2007 2:02:31 PM


SO now god protects idiots who drink and drive, endangering others.

1/29/2007 12:50:44 AM


I think that might have been the work of Satan.

6/26/2008 10:57:50 PM


Hey, fucktard, why doesn't God take miraculous control of other drunks' vehicles, you know, before they plow into a bunch of kids or a house or something?

Oh, wait, I know ... everyone who was ever killed by a drunk driver was a heathen atheist tool of Satan and deserved to die. Drunk drivers are the instrument of God, doing his work on earth. Bless him, praise him, yadda yadda.

6/26/2008 11:06:13 PM


Umm...i thought Jesus was against drinking to get drunk? i guess not, my bad. the lesser known 11th commandment, "Thou shalt get wasted and put others lives in danger," probably didn't seem important enough to put in the bible.

11/19/2008 5:34:07 PM


No, you just got very, very, very lucky.

11/19/2008 5:36:32 PM


So...God's your accomplice?

11/19/2008 6:52:40 PM


Makes me think of the bumper sticker "God is my co-pilot."
btw...you thought you had perfect control...you didn't. So when is the next time you'll pop a 12 and decided to drive? Will you say God intervened when you kill a mother, father and 3 children?

11/19/2008 7:17:19 PM

So God bails out stupid-ass drunk drivers that put themselves and everyone else on the road at risk? You'd think that he'd have more important things to do.

10/12/2009 6:22:24 PM


I hear adrenaline works wonders...

10/12/2009 7:33:29 PM

Philbert McAdamia

One time I pounded down a sixer of Coors tallboys and wound my car up to about 90 on the freeway, when all of a sudden there appeared the flashing red lights in my rear view mirror. As I pulled over the ambulance passed me, so, of course I resumed my evil ways. Luck? Will I be forever condemned by the gods of comedy for not worshipping Cheech & Chong? I think the guys were funny, I have their albums, but come on, it was a happy circumstance and it's a good memory.

Partay on! Evoe!

10/12/2009 8:18:55 PM

Jack D

Why don't we ever hear these stories on James Dobson's call-in segment?

Just remember this miracle, that twelve beers are never a LOT for God. Hallelujah!

10/12/2009 8:46:58 PM


There are 2 things i find inexcusable in driving a car. Those are not using the seat belts and the other is being intoxicated while driving.

2/15/2010 6:08:14 AM

Quantum Mechanic

God loves drunk drivers.

I hope you kill yourself before you kill someone else.

2/15/2010 6:09:31 AM

Isn't the old anti-drunk driving message "When you drive drunk, you drive with the Devil"?

8/6/2011 12:41:03 PM

Professor von SCIENCE!

Yeah, if we all drive drunk and endanger the lives of other people but are fundamentalist Christians then the Lord will protect us because he loves it when people are total assholes that threaten the safety of others because we have no common sense or self control. Right?

7/2/2013 1:38:01 PM

Dr. Shrinker

I've heard it said that god will take care of fools and drunkards.

It seems you qualify on both counts.

7/2/2013 2:42:22 PM

1 | top: comments page