I agree! I know what you are saying. Before I was even a follower, nothing happened, I got presents and I was blind and ignorant and that's what Satan wanted. Then, as I started to follow Christ, bad things began happening. There were many times where he tried to kill me through food poisoning, accidents, falls off horses, anything that he could think of to hurt or destroy me in some way.
I AM happy deep down inside, but being a follower means enduring the hate of others, and that includes the devil, and there is no way to avoid it.
46 comments
Hoo boy think I'll just rush right out and join your jebus cult. I need even more problems in my life now, what with my five children, knocked up daughter, deteriorating political career...
By extending Near's argument logically, people who do not follow Jesus will never get food poisoning, fall off a horse or get killed. OK, I'll stick with what I've got.
Norm
What the heck? Didn't you ever even read your bible? Why the hell would Satan want to *kill* a true believer? Satan tried to tempt Jesus, not kill him (you God did that). If you die a 'true believer', you go to heaven and that's a soul Satan has lost. Instead, he should be sending money, power, and hookers your way to tempt you to turn away from God.
Therefore, it must be God that's giving you food poisoning, making you fall off of horses, etc.
"Then, as I started to follow Christ, bad things began happening. There were many times where he tried to kill me through food poisoning, accidents, falls off horses, anything that he could think of to hurt or destroy me in some way."
I think Jesus is trying to tell you to stop stalking him. That's the impression I get from reading that.
I always love the way Jehovah and Jesus are supposed to gather more faithful.
"Let's give this one cancer."
Fuck 'em both!
Then, as I started to follow Christ, bad things began happening.
The classic "what a fool believes" self-fulfilling prophesy: if I was crossing the street and a car missed me, it's because Jesus saved me. If I got hit, it's because Satan hated me and was trying to destroy my faith.
There were many times where he [Satan] tried to kill me through food poisoning, accidents, falls off horses, anything that he could think of to hurt or destroy me in some way.
I'm sure the Islamic fanatic in Pakistan who set himself on fire while trying to burn an American flag had some similar theory. It never occurs to these holier-than-thou know-it-alls that maybe God was telling them they're full of shit.
Gee these are the most unlucky, miserable, depressing group of "Christians" ever! Maybe it comes from being so weak in your religion that you fear everyone else's beliefs and insult them, or more likely, you and your RR buddies have no more bad luck than anyone else, you just practice a "one-upmanship" in false persecution stories and imagined slights for your religion.
ZOMG Imagine that! Life didn't improve once you accepted Jebus. And food poisoning, accidents and falling off of horses don't mean shit. Or could mean you are clumsy and eat in unclean eating establishments. Like those all you can eat buffets fundies love to frequent after Sunday morning service (even though working on the Sabbath is a sin. I guess it's alright if it's other people working to serve your fat asses).
"nothing happened, I got presents and I was blind and ignorant and that's what Satan wanted."
Satan is easily satisfied then.
"Then, as I started to follow Christ, bad things began happening.There were many times where he tried to kill me through food poisoning, accidents, falls off horses, anything that he could think of to hurt or destroy me in some way"
Ahahahaha. Jesus tries so hard to tell you people to stop wasting your time, but you just like the whoopings, dontcha?
"but being a follower means enduring the hate of others"
No, that is more of a product of being a self-righteous asshole whining about how others don't appreciate your greatness.
"There were many times where he tried to kill me through food poisoning, accidents, falls off horses, anything that he could think of to hurt or destroy me in some way. "
I bet you had the same before you "started to follow Christ" its just that you notice them more now.
If other people don't feed your persecution complex, blame the invisible devils.
I would think Jesus would do a better job guarding you from the Devil.
Maybe people hate you because you're a paranoid nutjob?
It always strikes me as arrogant when these people start going on about how Satan hates them personally and is personally intervening to screw up their lives, and how God is personally intervening to help them. I mean, do they really think that a being powerful enough to create the entire universe and a being powerful enough to oppose him would care about them and their mediocre lives. I honestly find the premise that anything that powerful would care about human beings in GENERAL ludicrous, except maybe as interesting to watch, let alone individuals.
Just my thoughts.
Ya know, I had a horseback riding accident once. I think it was the devil's work afoot. I was riding and my horse was galloping through the pasture which backed up to a subdivision. Now, everyone knows horses are terrified of fire and someone had a burn pile going in their backyard. When my horse saw it he spooked and jumped clean out from underneath me. Flames. Bloody nose. Split open lip. Terrified horse. Yep, sounds like satan to me.
I got enough problems in my life; I think I'll stay a Witch. And I'm going to tell my apatheist brother with diabetes, eye problems, and crushing student loans not to accept anyone's invitation to be "saved", too.
"... I AM happy deep down inside ..."
That happiness must be buried deeper than the Mariana Trench, because, on the surface you and your fellow rapturists appear to be miserable failures.
I AM happy deep down inside, but being a follower means enduring the hate of others, and that includes the devil, and there is no way to avoid it.
Oh for...get off the fucking cross! We need the firewood.
I agree! I know what you are saying. Before I was even a follower, nothing happened, I got presents and I was blind and ignorant and that's what Satan wanted. Then, as I started to follow Christ,
And you remained the same.
Then, as I started to follow Christ, bad things began happening. There were many times where he tried to kill me
So let me get what you're saying straight. You think Satan gave you presents and Christ tried to kill you, but you're still "happy deep down inside?" Woah.
Oh, BTW:
image
If what "Near" demonstrates here is basically the BIOS of believers then the chances of survival for those people are thin.
Well, maybe the fundy-problem will solve itself after all.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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