Quote# 48365
[The whole post's great, but I decided to bold my favourite part]
I have noticed in twenty plus years of exorcism and healing ministry many hundreds have shared stories of being assaulted with sex spirits. We have seen some incredible victories in dealing with these kinds of spirits. We have had our share of cases where we were not able to see them fully delivered but in most cases we witnessed them being relieved of this kind of demonic torment.
Known as Incubus (dealt with this spirit last night within a hurting individual) and Succubus, these spirits are known to manifest physically, at times, however, they can enter into invisible forms also. These are not the only kind of sex spirits though. They are spirits called, masterbation, fornication, sodomy, homosexuality, lesbanism, sexual bondage, cyber sex, phone sex, necrophilia, etc.
Sexual spirits need to be dealt with--in dealing with any sins of the flesh---the apostle Paul encourages saints to "put to death" the earthly fleshly desires--you must kill it. Remove the ponography, sever relationships that lead to impurity, and directly put to death those impure thoughts. Sexuality immorality is rampant and we must fight. We are God's holy people. We must walk in the Spirit as to not walk in the flesh.
Then after repentance of impurity, the renewing of the mind, I would encourage deliverance from these entities.
There are spiritual weapons that men and women can utilize to fight off these sex spirits--Word of God, place portions of it in your undergarments if they are raping you (this may sound strange but it often works), place holy water on affected body areas, utilize sacred oil also. Fill your room with holy worship music & the blood of Jesus, place conscreated crosses over your living areas, areas where the attacks occur.
Jay Bartlett,
Ministering Deliverence 76 Comments [10/6/2008 2:52:48 PM]
Fundie Index: 7
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#709604
Lucilius
"They are spirits called, masterbation, ... lesbanism, ... etc. "
After so many thousands of years, why are these spirits still unable to spell?
"Word of God, place portions of it in your undergarments if they are raping you ... "
Heh. Think I'll claim to be "assaulted by spirits" of teh bhutsecks and start wiping my ass with it.
10/6/2008 2:58:04 PM
#709608
Mortok
Finally, a method of exorcism that's hilarious, instead of potentially life-threatening.
When I need to rid myself of the Invisible Leopard Seals of stupidity and prejudice, I slap myself with a sanctified fish (preferably trout or mackeral, but tuna will do in a pinch), and scream "I cast thee out in the name of the Almighty Penguin! Return to the ocean of turmoil from whence you came!".
If that doesn't work, just cram your mouth full of sardines and hope for the best.
10/6/2008 3:03:32 PM
#709610
Xotan
I thought it was always Demons of this and that. Now it's spirits.
But, Lucilius, Jay and his Spirits are not much at spelling. Maybe they don't want to spell because that's what witches do, isn't it? :-)
I have a suspicion that Jay wants people to cut out pages of the Bible and place them in their knickers. Kinky!
Now what's this with holy water and sacred oil? I thought it was only Catholics that used such things, or are the Fundies going Catholic on us?
I am a bit mystified as to where I could buy Blood of Jesus. The local supermarket doesn't deal in that. Only in Cow and Pig blood products.
10/6/2008 3:07:01 PM
#709612
Shann
Unintentional hilarity is, nonetheless, hilarious.
place holy water on affected body areas, utilize sacred oil also. Fill your room with holy worship music & the blood of Jesus, place conscreated crosses over your living areas, areas where the attacks occur.
So am I to understand (which I have a difficult time doing as distracted as I am by your lack of literacy), that you expect people to put holy water and oil on/in their genitals/asses and rip out bible pages to slip into their underpants?
You people are just way too preoccupied with sex and religion. May I suggest a hobby - one that doesn't involve sticking your noses into other people's sex lives and reading a book besides the bible?
Also, where exactly does one come by The Blood Of Jesus? I went to Target, Wal-Mart and even Piggly Wiggly and couldn't even locate a sample sized bottle.
10/6/2008 3:08:28 PM
#709623
Caterina
Coke Zero blowing out the nose...not a pleasanse sensation...
10/6/2008 3:16:58 PM
#709624
Philbert McAdamia
I use Chick tracts when I can't get a bible page or two...place them in my undergarment...in case of a wet fart. Easy, then, to cast out that demon.
10/6/2008 3:17:14 PM
#709626
D Laurier
You Jay... are batshit fucking insane.
10/6/2008 3:18:54 PM
#709638
Warren
I get the feeling that rubbing sacred oil on your "special parts" might end up causing more of these problems than it solves.
10/6/2008 3:30:24 PM
#709639
gargoyle1
"There are spiritual weapons that men and women can utilize to fight off these sex spirits--Word of God, place portions of it in your undergarments if they are raping you"
"Is that a Bible in your underwear, or are you just happy . . . "
10/6/2008 3:31:16 PM
#709646
Headache
Since there is no difference between "water" and "holy water", I have to say that the effect of your advice is non existent.
10/6/2008 3:38:54 PM
#709649
Frank
place holy water on affected body areas, utilize sacred oil also... Fill your room with... music & the blood of Jesus
OK, the blood of Jesus is wine. You want me to get rid of sexual feelings by covering my cock with water and sensual oil, and then putting on some mood music and putting out a bottle of red wine. I honestly don't think this is going to work the way you think it will.
-Frank
10/6/2008 3:40:05 PM
#709659
werewolf
KY's newly introduced His and Her oils are, arguably, sacred. They are preferred by the more discerning incubi and succubi.
10/6/2008 3:48:48 PM
#709662
Almafeta
Poe?
10/6/2008 3:50:33 PM
#709666
Lucilius
Hey, can we get some sacred lube? And maybe something holey ....
10/6/2008 3:56:04 PM
#709667
BufferickVonHellbags
will someone tell this dimwit that homosexuality isn't a sex act, it's a sexual orientation.
10/6/2008 3:59:21 PM
#709674
Freboy
"Remove the ponography, sever relationships that lead to impurity, and directly put to death those impure thoughts."
Translation: You relish in imposing your own preferences on other people.
10/6/2008 4:03:43 PM
#709684
Allegory for Jesus
"Word of God, place portions of it in your undergarments if they are raping you"
WTF x eleventy-billion
10/6/2008 4:13:48 PM
#709693
Mister Spak
Can I have one of those sex spirits when you're done with it?
10/6/2008 4:17:36 PM
#709700
Professor Cold Heart
@Almafeta
No, Jay Bartlett isn't a poe. He's a moderator at the Ministering Deliverance forum and his books are available from Christian bookstores.
10/6/2008 4:23:42 PM
#709720
Fdragon
"Word of God, place portions of it in your undergarments if they are raping you "
So...you want me to put...paper in my pants...to keep my underwear from raping me...
Dear sweet Christ, what are you on?
10/6/2008 4:40:41 PM
#709724
erin
Bwuh?????
He needs to be shot. Someone this delusional is a social liability.
10/6/2008 4:41:54 PM
#709726
Little Miss
*giggles* New Testament in my panties!
10/6/2008 4:43:00 PM
#709731
Knotilus
They are spirits called:
masterbation - hehehe check check check
fornication - check
sodomy - check
homosexuality - see above (not really gay but enjoy teh mansecks from time to time)
lesbanism - if I was a woman, I sooo would
sexual bondage - oh, that's a great big check
cyber sex - a couple of times, but it's not all that fun
phone sex - oddly enough, never tried it
necrophilia - ew fuck no fuckin' way
Ack, bible pages in my undies (or my panties, if I happen to be wearing them)? PAPERCUT!
Unless... can I write it on a butt plug?
10/6/2008 4:45:48 PM
#709739
Redneck Bimbo Governor
"place portions of it in your undergarments if they are raping you"
!!!There are no words!!!
10/6/2008 4:49:09 PM
#709741
myheadhurts
Bible pages as a sanitary "keep the demons away" rag... sounds good to me.
10/6/2008 4:49:44 PM
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