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#704006
SurfinSeaOtter
[citation needed]
And by suddenly burst open you mean were found open and empty after people stole the bodies to sell for medical research?
And are we also talking kidnappings here?
Grave robbing and kidnapping for Jebus?
10/1/2008 4:07:39 AM
#704010
Osiris
Where the fuck does the Bible mention this?
10/1/2008 4:15:53 AM
#704012
Dark_Lord_Prime
Aren't you people supposed to be judged and delivered to heaven or hell when you die?
And if the "saved" ones get perfect new bodies in heaven, why the bloody hell would any buried bodies suddenly burst forth from the ground? And what about the ones who've been cremated? And let's not forget about the ones who died due to loss of body mass (i.e. shark attacks, innocent people blown to pieces as collateral damage, amputees, etc.)...
Oh! And what about the fact that the bible says only 144,000 men(?) get to go?
10/1/2008 4:18:53 AM
#704013
Michael
Check your pastor's offshore account.
10/1/2008 4:20:41 AM
#704017
DarkfireTaimatsu
Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes...
The dead rising from the grave!
Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!
10/1/2008 4:24:00 AM
#704018
iflurry
... okay, if Jesus blows up a bunch of dead bodies and makes my local cemetery look like a war zone, THEN I'll convert.
Also... that "last train home" line? Remind anybody else of this Simpsons moment...
Bart: Why are we all dressed up? Are we going to Black Angus?
Marge: You might say we're going to the best steakhouse in the whole universe.
Bart: ... so we're NOT going to Black Angus?
10/1/2008 4:28:07 AM
#704022
Ken1971
This is, of course, total bullshit. But just think of all the prime real estate that would be freed up if it did happen.
10/1/2008 4:33:15 AM
#704032
ozznova
What the fornication is this defecation?
10/1/2008 5:02:35 AM
#704037
werewolf
Newspaper clippings, television coverage, radio reports, eyewitness accounts, police reports? Come on, there must be something.
10/1/2008 5:08:55 AM
#704039
Empress
So your god is a graverobber. Nice. From now on, I must pray to Igor.
10/1/2008 5:10:15 AM
#704043
Mortok
iflurry, that makes me wonder if the Rapture isn't just an elaborate advertising ploy.
"The end is nigh...the end of high prices!!!"
10/1/2008 5:21:05 AM
#704052
Slayer
I just love how they think we will try to explain away the targeted disappearance of hundreds of millions of Christians and children (and dead bodies apparently) with stuff like aliens or lasers.
If the Rapture ever happens, I will be the first to admit that God exists. I am pretty sure it won't though. I give it the same odds as being granted superpowers after a radiation blast.
10/1/2008 5:32:00 AM
#704053
OMG NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD OMG
10/1/2008 5:33:10 AM
#704061
Mrs. Antichrist
You are INSANE
10/1/2008 5:47:10 AM
#704072
threshold
What are the odds that if Fox News suddenly went off the air (broken satellite, whatever) there would be mass suicides of these people?
10/1/2008 6:06:37 AM
#704092
Reks
what about the MILLIONS of graves that have suddenly burst open?
Smoking weed usually wields this effect...
Either that, or your God is a graverobber.
10/1/2008 6:24:36 AM
#704093
LeoKnox
Sethola- who "the fuck cares?"
10/1/2008 6:25:32 AM
#704098
apYrs
the whole RR site is mutual masturbation. After reading a thread my brain feels polluted by so much superstition that I need a dose of reality to clean it out.
It's amazing how much time these people spend speculating on something that they CAN'T know when due and waste their lives.
10/1/2008 6:31:51 AM
#704113
Morrigan
There is a zombie apocalipse in the bible??????
10/1/2008 6:48:20 AM
#704119
Grigori Yefimovich
Surely God can extract all these corpses without disturbing the landscape? Perhaps they've already gone.
I think you should get your spade and have a look.
10/1/2008 6:57:56 AM
#704127
Philbert McAdamia
Zombie Heaven. Does George Romero have anything to do with this?
10/1/2008 7:23:46 AM
#704161
Dan Onymous
@ DarkfireTaimatsu
That is exactly what I was thinking. It wouldn't surprise me to see Rapture Ready seriously considering the possibility that the tribulation will start with a giant marshmallow man.
10/1/2008 10:03:55 AM
#704165
The Jamo
Well, if there is a fundie director out there willing to make a movie about the rapture then here's a perfect title for it: "The Last Train Home"
That name alone is worthy of a blockbuster offering.
10/1/2008 10:11:24 AM
#704181
Deep Search
The whole zombie slant does kind of make the rapture sound cool--kind of. With graves 'bursting open' it sounds like Dawn of the Dead.
Fundie zombies would all be going crazy for our brains, because they certainly didn't have any when they were alive. Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk.
10/1/2008 10:53:56 AM
#704186
Brain_In_A_Jar
Where the fuck does the Bible mention this?
One of the later gospels, I forget which, asserts that hundreds of dead saints rose from their graves and lurched on into town at the time of the resurrection. The earlier ones (and all other historical accounts) evidently didn't consider this noteworthy.
sethola's post illustrates one possible way this curious turn of events might have come about - the author briefly went even more insane than usual and just up and decided that it happened.
10/1/2008 11:02:07 AM
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