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Quote# 48425

[regarding the rapture...]


...what about the MILLIONS of graves that have suddenly burst open? people go disappearing all the time (of course never on such a mass scale, however...) but it's not every day...actually never, EVER have graves exploded showing no evidence of a body.

also...we know that the dead in Christ will most certainly precede us. will we ourselves actually witness this happening immediatly before we take the "last train home"?

sethola, RaptureReady 58 Comments [10/1/2008 4:05:33 AM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: fritistat
WTF?! || meh
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SurfinSeaOtter

[citation needed]

And by suddenly burst open you mean were found open and empty after people stole the bodies to sell for medical research?

And are we also talking kidnappings here?

Grave robbing and kidnapping for Jebus?

10/1/2008 4:07:39 AM

Osiris

Where the fuck does the Bible mention this?

10/1/2008 4:15:53 AM

Dark_Lord_Prime

Aren't you people supposed to be judged and delivered to heaven or hell when you die?

And if the "saved" ones get perfect new bodies in heaven, why the bloody hell would any buried bodies suddenly burst forth from the ground? And what about the ones who've been cremated? And let's not forget about the ones who died due to loss of body mass (i.e. shark attacks, innocent people blown to pieces as collateral damage, amputees, etc.)...

Oh! And what about the fact that the bible says only 144,000 men(?) get to go?

10/1/2008 4:18:53 AM

Michael

Check your pastor's offshore account.

10/1/2008 4:20:41 AM

DarkfireTaimatsu

Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes...
The dead rising from the grave!
Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!

10/1/2008 4:24:00 AM

iflurry

... okay, if Jesus blows up a bunch of dead bodies and makes my local cemetery look like a war zone, THEN I'll convert.

Also... that "last train home" line? Remind anybody else of this Simpsons moment...

Bart: Why are we all dressed up? Are we going to Black Angus?
Marge: You might say we're going to the best steakhouse in the whole universe.
Bart: ... so we're NOT going to Black Angus?

10/1/2008 4:28:07 AM

Ken1971

This is, of course, total bullshit. But just think of all the prime real estate that would be freed up if it did happen.

10/1/2008 4:33:15 AM

ozznova

What the fornication is this defecation?

10/1/2008 5:02:35 AM

werewolf

Newspaper clippings, television coverage, radio reports, eyewitness accounts, police reports? Come on, there must be something.

10/1/2008 5:08:55 AM

Empress

So your god is a graverobber. Nice. From now on, I must pray to Igor.

10/1/2008 5:10:15 AM

Mortok

iflurry, that makes me wonder if the Rapture isn't just an elaborate advertising ploy.

"The end is nigh...the end of high prices!!!"

10/1/2008 5:21:05 AM

Slayer

I just love how they think we will try to explain away the targeted disappearance of hundreds of millions of Christians and children (and dead bodies apparently) with stuff like aliens or lasers.

If the Rapture ever happens, I will be the first to admit that God exists. I am pretty sure it won't though. I give it the same odds as being granted superpowers after a radiation blast.

10/1/2008 5:32:00 AM



OMG NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD OMG

10/1/2008 5:33:10 AM

Mrs. Antichrist

You are INSANE

10/1/2008 5:47:10 AM

threshold

What are the odds that if Fox News suddenly went off the air (broken satellite, whatever) there would be mass suicides of these people?

10/1/2008 6:06:37 AM

Reks

what about the MILLIONS of graves that have suddenly burst open?

Smoking weed usually wields this effect...

Either that, or your God is a graverobber.

10/1/2008 6:24:36 AM

LeoKnox

Sethola- who "the fuck cares?"

10/1/2008 6:25:32 AM

apYrs

the whole RR site is mutual masturbation. After reading a thread my brain feels polluted by so much superstition that I need a dose of reality to clean it out.

It's amazing how much time these people spend speculating on something that they CAN'T know when due and waste their lives.

10/1/2008 6:31:51 AM

Morrigan

There is a zombie apocalipse in the bible??????

10/1/2008 6:48:20 AM

Grigori Yefimovich

Surely God can extract all these corpses without disturbing the landscape? Perhaps they've already gone.

I think you should get your spade and have a look.

10/1/2008 6:57:56 AM

Philbert McAdamia

Zombie Heaven. Does George Romero have anything to do with this?

10/1/2008 7:23:46 AM

Dan Onymous

@ DarkfireTaimatsu

That is exactly what I was thinking. It wouldn't surprise me to see Rapture Ready seriously considering the possibility that the tribulation will start with a giant marshmallow man.

10/1/2008 10:03:55 AM

The Jamo

Well, if there is a fundie director out there willing to make a movie about the rapture then here's a perfect title for it: "The Last Train Home"

That name alone is worthy of a blockbuster offering.

10/1/2008 10:11:24 AM

Deep Search

The whole zombie slant does kind of make the rapture sound cool--kind of. With graves 'bursting open' it sounds like Dawn of the Dead.

Fundie zombies would all be going crazy for our brains, because they certainly didn't have any when they were alive. Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk.

10/1/2008 10:53:56 AM

Brain_In_A_Jar

Where the fuck does the Bible mention this?

One of the later gospels, I forget which, asserts that hundreds of dead saints rose from their graves and lurched on into town at the time of the resurrection. The earlier ones (and all other historical accounts) evidently didn't consider this noteworthy.

sethola's post illustrates one possible way this curious turn of events might have come about - the author briefly went even more insane than usual and just up and decided that it happened.

10/1/2008 11:02:07 AM
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