You are unholy, judgemental and homophobic in that you have allowed personal prejudice define what you are.
You do not see a rounded person. You see instead only a sexuality. That is prurience.
This Clay, person (Never heard of him before) is the same person as he was yesterday, last week, a year ago. He has not changed. If there is a change, it is in you NClayolina. You have abandoned something that formerly you enjoyed because you peered into that most private of places, another person's bedroom.
Your attitude is also going to deprive you of so many wonderful things in life. Art, for example... You'll never be able to look at the work of Michelangelo, Caravaggio, Leonardo... The music world too will be emptier for you. No Schubert, Tchaikowsky and so many others... The works of Wilde etc. What a cultural desert whose threshold your toes are already crossing! How can you bear to live! Indeed, I don't know why you bother.
You see, the loss is not Clay's. It's yours. Welcome to the real world where nothing and nobody is/are perfect. Not even you. (Bet you have a stock of shameful things you wouldn't like us to know about! hehehe!)
A thought to send you on your way to your personal perdition: People are as people are; not as we would have them be, and we have no right to project our personal desires and wishes onto others and make them creatures according to our moulding. So Clay will now never hold you in his arms, or do to you any of those shameful things you wanted him to, and you are being a spiteful bitch because your eidolon has shattered. Good enough for you! Grow up and learn tolerance!