[On a video about prayer doesn't work]
Prayer works only if you are righteous. Like when I lost my pet bird when he flew away outside, I prayed with my family that he would return. 5 hours later, we found him across the street in a bush, unharmed... What are the odds? Less than 1%. AND, there were other instances in my life where prayer worked... the reason why it doesn't work for you is because you obviously don't have faith, which is a necessity for a prayer to work...
67 comments
How old are you?
I would guess the bird might have a pretty good chance to live after 5 hours. Probably scared and hid in a bush. You may have found him just in time though.
While it's always nice to get a beloved pet back, God really should be worrying about the people in the world who are oppressed, hungry, and live in poverty, and the bird is your responsibility.
Ooh, do I get to play, too? I invoked the name of Semiramis while trying to find a parking space, and I found one a block from the theater. Prayer works, but only if you invoke God by Her proper name, which is Semiramis.
So, by your account, prayer works exactly the same as magic and Santa. Good one, that'll definately hold up to academic debate.
That dosen't mean anything.
One time my cat ran off. I hoped that she would come back and the next day she did, uhnarmed.
So you prayed... then went out and looked for the bird?
Who wants to bet the odds of finding the bird were at least as good, if not better (since you wouldn't have wasted time) if you had just omitted the whole 'prayer' thing?
Catch-22. If it works, it's "proof," if it doesn't, it's your fault. This is a good way to bedazzle imbeciles, nothing more.
So, fuck everyone in Darfur, I guess they just don't matter to God, but you and your fucking bird do?
there were other instances in my life where prayer worked
Like when your parents got you that bike you wanted? You sure it wasn't all the bitching and whining? Now run a long and go play. This is grown-up time.
There was a study done maybe five years ago about prayer. Two groups of post-operative patients were organized - one was prayed for, the other not (i.e., the control).
Astonishingly, there was a statistical difference with the prayer group.
They recovered more slowly.
"Prayer works only if you are righteous."
Prayer = Holy sorcery.
But, I don't think you are righteous enough. I mean, seriously, your claim to fame is praying your bird into not flying off and dying during a five hour interval? Your prayer-fu is weak, child.
Actually, escaped pet birds do that A LOT.
Look, I believe in God, but some things can happen naturally, OK? Jeez...
You could have prayed to a jug of milk and it would've been just as effective as praying to your god.
You still would've found your domesticated bird near your house. In fact, if you hadn't wasted your time praying and had simply gone out to look, you likely would've found it hours earlier.
Retard.
"Prayer works only if you are righteous."
"There is none righteous, no, not one..."
- Romans 3:10
So, there you have it. Prayer doesn't prayer.
God answers prayer. Sometimes the answer is 'No' :-)
Seriously, prayer is not supposed about asking God for shit all the time. God isn't Santa Claus. It doesn't work that way. Ever. If you pray and get what you want, it's a coincidence.
Prayer is about spiritual communion, for those who choose to have a relationship with the deity of their choice, with that deity.
End world hunger --
Bring peace on Earth --
End all disease --
Bring to joy to all humans --
Returning Mario's Bird -- Check.
Appear on toast -- Check.
<i> Nice to see God has his priorities straight</i>
I have "pet" mockingbirds who spend the summer around the backyard. It's nice to hear their family tunes again after the winter.
There's also a clan of egrets who spend the cooler months along a specific nearby roadway year after year.
It's a bird thing, not prayer.
Damn, it was supposed to be "prayer doesn't work."
I hate myself, I hate myself!!!
I'm guessing the bird didn't get far, because it was tired.
It was tired because it was so desperate to get away from you and the constant crap it had to listen to when sharing a house with you, it used up most of its energy slowly headbutting its way out of the cage.
And despite its best attempts to hide from you in a bush whilst it got its strength back, you found it. I feel sorry for the poor damn thing.
Mr. Spock, how on Earth (or Vulcan, if you prefer) did you calculate those odds? You're always calculating ridiculously low odds, and yet we always succeed. I'm starting to think you pull the numbers out of your ass.
Factoid: My mother prays for me every day to find a nice husband and settle down and buy a dog. (She's happy with having one grandchild, which my big brother and his wife have already produced.) She has been doing this since I was, oh, seventeen or so.
I have yet to find a nice husband, and I'm too broke to adopt a dog right now.
My mother is very faithful, and so is my stepfather. Are they just "not righteous enough," even though they're awesome and nice to everyone and go to church every single Sunday?
Maybe my mum and stepdad just don't hate people enough. Maybe that's the problem. They have no problem with gay folks or folks of other races or women with jobs (Mum used to be in the Army!) Maybe that's why my mum's "find Fishy a husband plz" prayers haven't worked!
I foudn my cat, unhurt, after he escaped form the house (the stray cat's in my area carry FIV, so we can't let him out unsupervised). We didn't pray, so explain that Mario!
Also, even if the odds are 1%, it's still going to happen some of the time. Less than 1% of people have ever contracted CJD...but people still have it. Actualy, seeing as the event already happend, the odds are actually 1 (or 100% as you used percentages).
WM said
#767262
2008-Oct-15 11:25 PM
Reminds me of the time my cat went missing for three days. We called her every day, and on the third night she came and cried at my window. No prayer involved. What are the odds? ;)
Third day. Maybe your cat is Jesus.
As per usual... When prayer works, "praise Jesus!". When it doesn't, "the ways of the lord are inscrutable, we must surrender to his will, he knows better, whatever-mind-trick-I-can-think-of-to-rationalize-that-shit-happens"
ALL ARE SINFUL AND AS FILTH IN THE EYES OF THE LIVING GOD AND HIS HOLY SON...
or at least that's what you lot say, so righteousness doesn't come into it.
and judging is a sin
My friend is an atheist and her cat, that she had got on the same day, managed to run away and was outdoors all night, but was found unharmed in the morning. What are the odds that a 3 month old kitten could survive outdoors for whole night?
Actually birds are pretty smart. It's not that surprising that he stayed in the area.
And if God is all-powerful, why did you have to go looking for him? Shouldn't the bird have come right back to you?
Also, if we need to be as righteous as you just to keep a bird near our houses, God is pretty weak and not worth praying to for anything important.
I once wanted a free cup of coffee, so I went to a coffee shop, ordered a coffee, and, as they were closing, they offered me what was left in the coffee machine before throwing it out. This God fellow is such a nice guy....maybe when people stop asking him to go out and buy their toothpaste, he'll get around to fixing the real problems.
Your bird knew where food was
It's a miracle (well the ability to remember where food can be found sure as hell couldn't be a product of evolution, could it?)
Because finding birds in bushes is so unusual that there is even a proverb about it - bird in the hand, etc. In any case, as has no doubt been pointed out many times already, your bird didn't come back safely to you, you had to go and look for him and found him in a remarkably usual place for birds.
(PS Should we tell this nitwit that his beloved pet evolved from a dinosaur? Maybe not, he might chase it away and pray it doesn't come back).
There was once done a serious scientific investigation on the efficacy of prayer.
Two groups of seriously ill persons in hospital were screened. Both received the same medical treatment. But for one of those groups, it was asked for prayer in several church congregations.
So we had a huge group of "righteous faithful", who prayed in earnest for the well-being of those particular sick. You cannot say that faith was missing here.
What was the result? No effect, absolutely none. As expected. Both groups had the same survival and recovery rates.
"Prayer works only if you are righteous."
That IS what the Bible promises, true. God will fulfill all prayers, as long as you're sufficiently faithful, AND the results requested don't go against God's desires.
So, you prayed for your birdie, God looked up your piety, and granted that you were a good enough Christian, and he didn't need the bird to die, and gave you birdie. That's your story.
Meanwhile, a ga-zillion people who think they're Christians pray for Abortion to end, and God does dick about it... What does that tell you?
Either they're not Christains, or God really wants abortions.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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