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Ah, Jesus is such a smartass.
10/17/2008 7:00:59 PM
10/17/2008 7:04:28 PM
We all know you Raptards take pleasure in seeing your "heretics" suffer especially the Arabs. That's why we all want you to die in a fire.
10/17/2008 7:06:57 PM
10/17/2008 7:07:43 PM
What, the toilet? it's useful, but hardly fascinating. And does Jesus really need company in there, like Lyndon Johnson?
10/17/2008 7:10:23 PM
The moment these Christians realize they're not going to Nirvana is going to be pretty interesting...
Fundie: "But.. but.. but you're not God!"
Buddha: "No, not really. But I see you spent your whole life desiring something you could never attain while inconveniencing and hurting others. Did you even try to study other religions before trying to convert them to your own?"
Buddha: "Not good enough; F minus minus."
10/17/2008 7:11:09 PM
The Great White Throne of Judgment is going to be pretty interesting....
Crusader:"But-but-but no one TOLD ME about you!!!"
Allah: " Really? Did you even TRY to listen before you set fire to their whole city?"
Allah: " I'll take THAT as a 'no'."
10/17/2008 7:12:25 PM
Allah: Why did you go around killing lots of my followers?
Crusader: Because... God demanded it?
Allah: Actually, my followers were supposed to be killing you guys. Nice try, though.
*Tosses crusader into a pit of burning excrement*
10/17/2008 7:15:04 PM
Jesus is a very important prophet in Islam
10/17/2008 7:22:48 PM
I've got a Great White Throne at my house.
It's a Kohler, of course!
10/17/2008 7:23:59 PM
Hahaha. Great white throne. Say no MORE!
10/17/2008 7:28:54 PM
... I know what they mean, but.. I'm just picturing Jesus passing down judgment while he's taking a shit. It's hilarious, which I don't think is what they were going for.
10/17/2008 7:29:02 PM
*at the door to the Summerlands*
Fundie: "But-but-you're not real! God's supposed to be a man!"
Diana: "No, not really. But I see you did spend a lot of time desecrating the planet I made for you to live on, attacking everyone who disagreed with you, and claiming that all My children were worshiping a fictional incarnation of evil. Did you even bother trying to think for yourself and learn about the world around you, instead of wasting your time hurting others?"
Diana: "I'll take that as a 'no.' You're definitely going back as a crack baby."
10/17/2008 7:32:27 PM
The possibilities are (virtually) endless. How about this one:
Fundie: "But-but-but no one TOLD ME I couldn't eat lobster !!!"*
Old Testament God: "Really? Did you even READ the bible?"
Old Testament God: " I'll take THAT as a 'no'."
* Leviticus 10:11-12
10/17/2008 7:38:23 PM
Is it just me or do these people really seem to get turned on by their revenge fantasies?
10/17/2008 7:39:49 PM
Fundie: But, jebus, no one told me not to mix fabrics!
jebus winces as he pinches off another gooey turd. Then he wipes his butthole and says, "Dad-damnit, I hate these new low-flow fucking Great White Thrones! Oh yeah, fuck you fundie!"
10/17/2008 7:47:10 PM
Christian: "But-but-but no one TOLD ME about you!!!"
Allah: "Really? Did you even TRY to listen before they decapitated you?"
Allah: "I'll take THAT as a 'no'"
Now I have to go vomit, because your odd capitalization and the odd emphasis it implies made me sick. I'll take THAT as GFY, you suck at fiction.
10/17/2008 7:58:23 PM
Riddle me this:
With what is Jesus wiping his ass after finishing the business on the white throne?
Are there paper mills and forests in heaven? Can I get Charmin Ultra?
10/17/2008 7:58:52 PM
Wait till Robert finds out that God is a very liberal black woman with a fondness for atheists.
10/17/2008 8:03:06 PM
Jesus as played by David Spade?
10/17/2008 8:04:34 PM
10/17/2008 8:07:53 PM
Muslim 2 : "Hey Jesus."
Jesus : "So ... I guess nobody told you about me either huh ?? Right, off to Hell you go !!"
Muslim 2 : "Whoa whoa whoa !! I just said your name. Of course I've heard about you. You're one of the most important prophets of my religion."
Jesus : "Really ?? Nobody told me that !!"
Muslim 2 : "Did you even TRY to listen to them before you sent them to Hell ??"
Jesus : "Uh ..."
Muslim 2 : "I'll take THAT as a 'no'"
Jesus : Nooooooooooooooo !!!
/Jesus falls into darkness.
10/17/2008 8:08:19 PM
Brahman" "Did you even read the Upanishads?"
Rapture Fucktard: "Uh..."
Brahman: "I'll take that as a no."
10/17/2008 8:11:01 PM
Mictlan: So did you ever kill a dude or assist in the delivery of a child?
Christian Fundie: No... mostly I just picketed people who had lifestyles that I disagreed with. Also, I thought women in labor were unclean.
Mictlan: Sorry, it's the long path of obsidian shards for you.
10/17/2008 8:28:44 PM
Rapture Ready folk sure do like to fantasize about people being judged and punished.
10/17/2008 8:30:18 PM
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