Good Christians: have you bought chick tracts to give instead of candy this halloween?
Instead of candy I give them these, they are SO happy with them, and we can still juin in with the fun of the festival, and spread the word of christ. It doesn't have to be about the devil and sin.
Here are some of the things I have heard them say;
“Wow, comic books!”
“Hey, they’ve got the good stuff here!”
“I’ve already got this one. Can I have that one instead?”
63 comments
"Good Christians: have you bought chick tracts to give instead of candy this halloween?"
....I bet you're that house that always gets skipped by the neighborhood kids who know better, aren't you?
I used to get those things free from a gas station and look for the ones I didn't have already, too.
Because they were so damn hilarious.
Someone's going to find egg on their house this year.
Actually, I love 'em- they're the most unintenionally hilarious things ever.
What a whacko!
Oh wait, it's just Jayden's Mommy.
Speaking of which, why does she have question marks surrounding Jayden? Does she not know if she's the mommy or not?
That's not what I said, or my brother said, or the little kids I know now say. It was more like, "This sucks. Why does she think we want these? There's no candy, even. Let's put some eggs in her mailbox."
“Wow, comic books!”
“Hey, they’ve got the good stuff here!”
“I’ve already got this one. Can I have that one instead?”
More like:
"What the hell, bible comics?"
"Dude, don't go to that house -- that's where that insane Christian lady lives."
"Ugh, you already gave me this last year. Time to get out the rotten eggs..."
"Instead of candy I give them these, they are SO happy with them, and we can still juin in with the fun of the festival, and spread the word of christ. It doesn't have to be about the devil and sin."
So you actually enjoy scraping raw egg off of your house and car? Or are you just unable to make the connection between the two events?
"Here are some of the things I have heard them say;
“Wow, comic books!”
“Hey, they’ve got the good stuff here!”
“I’ve already got this one. Can I have that one instead?”"
That's called sarcasm.
“Wow, comic books!”
“Hey, they’ve got the good stuff here!”
“I’ve already got this one. Can I have that one instead?”
Sarcasm......
Also what an odd username.
Where is this person?
I've never received a Chick Tract. Which is a pity, because I would love to. I want the whole freakin' collection. They're desirable because they are so utterly insane. It makes them comedic gold.
IO wonder if that explains the last quote ?Jayden's? Mommy gave?
"I want the whole freakin' collection. They're desirable because they are so utterly insane. It makes them comedic gold." -- Tony
Just go to http://www.chick.com/catalog/tractlist.asp . They have every tract that Chick has ever published. You can just click on a tract and then print it up! That way, Chick Publications won't get any of your money!
Aw, fuck. Jayden's fucking Mommy again? This woman should be banned from the interwebs.
And if anyone ever handed out that shit where I come from, they'd probably get their car egged. Or their pumpkins smashed at least.
"Get em while they're young"
You make me sick you bastard. The only way to get them is if they are young though. Could you imagine going to a man in, lets say his 20's, that was raised on an island in a purely secular type of way and giving him chick tracts?
You better pray to your imaginary friend you don't live in my old neighborhood. If I didn't get my Hersheys or Nestle Cruch bars, my friends and I would IMMEDIATELY trash your yard decorations. Expect to find your pumpkins all over the street tomorrow morning. And we were some of the good kids on that street. Others may not be so *understanding.*
I would have expected one or more of the following:
"Not these shitty comics again"
"These suck. Where's my candy?"
"Next year we're egging your house, bitch!"
Women like her are why I'm going to send my kids out with a few copies of the Cthulhu Chick Tract, just so they can "trade" with the people who think tracts are appropriate Halloween handouts.
At least pennies can be saved up to get a candy bar or something. You can't get anything with a Chick Tract, except maybe a few laughs or angry glares.
And isn't there a Chick Tract that says Halloween is evil or something? If it's evil, shouldn't you avoid handing things out on that day just on principle?
Instead of candy I give them these, they are SO happy with them, and we can still juin in with the fun of the festival, and spread the word of christ. It doesn't have to be about the devil and sin.
Here are some of the things I have heard them say;
“Wow, comic books!”
See? They think they're getting comics. Once they find out they're getting preached to, they're gonna do what I do.
Pour gunpowder between the pages and burn them.
“Wow, comic books!”
“Hey, they’ve got the good stuff here!”
“I’ve already got this one. Can I have that one instead?”
About CHICK tracts? Either you live in a very creepy neighbourhood, or you are lying. Chick's bad Christian logic is only offset by his bad art. I guess they could be collecting them to laugh at. I would. Have you read the one about Dungeons and Dragons games? Priceless.
Hey, who's coming to my annual Halloween night Chick Tract BBQ / pagan ritual?
You've still got a week to RSVP.
“Wow, comic books!”
“Hey, they’ve got the good stuff here!”
“I’ve already got this one. Can I have that one instead?”
It bet that's what you want to hear but instead you here "Fuck you lady. These fucking suck."
Here are some of the things I have heard them say;
“Wow, comic books!”
And then they find a load of bull and throw them away, amirite?
What I don't understand is why these particular comics are called "tracts". Now, this may be because english is not my native language, and that my understanding of said language is thus somewhat lacking. But still, I have never heard the term "tracts" used about comics before, and to be honest the only tracts I can relate the word to (because of similar spelling and pronunciation) is the norwegian word for this device: http://no.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trakt which I currently find myself being unable to remember the english word for.
Edit: Okay, I found out.
" a short written work, usually of a political or religious nature "
Well okay, I learned something new today. Time to leave work I think.
I just noticed something that no one has posted about yet. She starts off by saying "good christians". I didn't know there even was such a thing. Or is she using it as a form of derogation to those who don't agree with her particular brand of fundyism? Or, you don't have to agree with her exactly, but by handing out chick tracts on halloween puts you in the "in" crowd?
You know, I used to think she was for real, but I've just seen so much from her, mostly on Y!A, for her to be anything but a troll or poe.
I bet her house gets TP'd and egged every Halloween! Good grief and she has a kid...
That said, I love those tracts! They are so ridiculous and hyperbolic that they're funny!
@ anti-nonsense: My BIRD is smarter than the average Fundie! Even she (my bird) would know that the tracts are BS...they would make for some good nest material though.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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