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Quote# 50803

What do you think an atheists excuse will be?
When an atheist dies and stands before God and God asks him why he didn't believe what do you think thier excuse will be?

1) Science proved you didn't exist!
2) The concept of you was only for the ignorant and uneducated.
3) Only people with empty lives believed in you.
4) I thought you was a myth made up by pagans and adopted by the jews.
5) There was to much pain and suffering on earth to believe you existed.
6) I am not dead and you aren't God. I just ate some bad left overs.
7) I only believe what I see and I didn't see you.
8) Oh crap....Look God I was just kidding about the whole athiest thing.

Additional Details


No where in the Bible does it say I have to accept or tolerate other faiths or beliefs. In fact God always asks us to expose them for what they are and to not tolerate them.

kip_rev, Yahoo Answers 62 Comments [11/1/2008 7:54:03 AM]
Fundie Index: 9
Submitted By: J Arcenas
WTF?! || meh
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KathleenTheTerrible

So God isn't really salmonella?

11/1/2008 7:58:34 AM

Rallymodeller

What do you think a christian's excuse will be?
When a Christian dies and stands before Allah and Allah asks him why he didn't believe what do you think thier excuse will be?

Fixed first part. Couldn't be bothered with fantasy questions.

11/1/2008 8:32:35 AM

Jay-Sus

No where in the Bible does it say I have to accept or tolerate other faiths or beliefs. In fact God always asks us to expose them for what they are and to not tolerate them.

Expose Catholicism for what it is. The leading cause of Christianity.

11/1/2008 8:34:50 AM

pete

In the unlikely event I were to ever "stand before God" I would say hi, nice to meet you, and go from there. Frankly, I don't have any crimes on my conscience so we would probably get along just fine. You see, as a law abiding person with a generous nature, I'm pretty sure I will look pretty good next to all those ignorant, judgmental, hateful, fundies.

11/1/2008 8:37:30 AM

solomongrundy

What will your excuse be when Crom laughs at you from his mountain and casts you from Valhalla?

@Pete: That you even exist is a crime in God's eyes, original sin and all that. You were born guilty.

11/1/2008 8:37:42 AM

jl

5 and 7, probably followed by asking "Why do I have an appendix?", "What exactly is the pinky finger for anyway?" and "Why are our eyes wired back to front?"

11/1/2008 8:41:34 AM

Jaces Ci

i choose 6 in that unlikely scenario

11/1/2008 8:42:13 AM

Larty

"2) The concept of you was only for the ignorant and uneducated.
3) Only people with empty lives believed in you.
4) I thought you was a myth made up by pagans and adopted by the jews.
5) There was to much pain and suffering on earth to believe you existed.
6) I am not dead and you aren't God. I just ate some bad left overs.
7) I only believe what I see and I didn't see you."


These reasons are actually pretty good ones. However, if I will ever stand before God, I will probably not be worried because I could be seeing a near-death-experience hallucination.

If God was actually real, I wouldn't need to "tell" him reasons, because he could read my thoughts. My opinion wouldn't matter anyway, if he sent me to heaven or hell. I can't uderstand why the hell would God care about a single person anyway.

11/1/2008 9:05:04 AM

Michael

I thought christians were supposed to read the NT?
1) According to the lunatic fundies, science doesn't exit therefore WE exist.
2) Mirror, mirror
3) Your life is full - of bullshit
4) Since Xtianity is (or was) a sector of Judaism... <whistle>
5) Caused by christianity.
6) You are dead from the neck up, and I'm vegetarian.
7) We haven't seen your version of a god, only the nihilist actions of those who profess to follow him/her/it.
8) Oh crap - that sums up religion perfectly.

11/1/2008 9:15:57 AM

Thammuz

You might as well start thinking about your own excuse when odin kicks your ugly ass down to hel because you didn't die into battle...

11/1/2008 9:28:38 AM

Eden

No where in the Bible does it say I have to accept or tolerate other faiths or beliefs. In fact God always asks us to expose them for what they are and to not tolerate them.

So actually you admit that your religion (or rather, your vrsion of religion) goes contrary to the principles upon which your state was built (religious tolerance for example)

11/1/2008 10:16:11 AM

Mitch

What do you think a fundamentalist's excuse will be when they die and stand before God and God asks why they lied about him continuously and repeatedly slaughtered people in his name?

1) But evolution was too difficult for me to understand!
2) But we could make money off of people who believed in you, by manipulating stupid and uneducated people.
3) Believing in you meant we could do whatever the hell we want.
4) I thought we were meant to kill those people, not make friends with them and live peacefully so together we could understand the universe.
5) There was too much pain and suffering in the world, so we decided we should cause more, you know, just for the hell of it.
6) I'm not dead, you're satan you're lying to me!
7) I only took a few important books out of the bible and added a few new ones, its not like I was being deceitful.
8) Well, I guess its pointless lying anymore, you are God...

11/1/2008 10:23:37 AM

Lilith

Assuming for the moment that God and Heaven do exist, He will probably say: Did you try to live the best life that you could? Did you try not to harm others and to be a positive force in the world?
And if you say yes, the the door will open for you.

Anything less is not a God worth worshipping.

11/1/2008 10:24:13 AM

LOLWUT

Why the hell should I ask him to forgive me? He's a mentally insane massmurderer who approves of racism, sexism and homophobia. If anyone has something to explain it's him!

No, I would ask him to send me to hell post haste so I could avoid all the jesusfreaks and suicide bombers. Instead, I would be in good company in hell, what with all the atheists, scientists, hookers and strippers. And the scientifically trained inhabitants could no doubt build a device to dump some excess heat, maybe even redirect it straight to heaven. Take that, god.

11/1/2008 10:25:28 AM

a mind far far away

I like #6. That's my excuse. However, with his last statement, if he'd look at what he typed with half a brain, he'd see that nowhere did he say they could persecute the PEOPLE who practice other faiths. And depending on how you view intolerance, it could simply mean not tolerating it in your own life, but nothing about your community, society, or nation. Because, according to the book, jesus, did in fact, tolerate others regardless of creed, color, race, social standing, nationality, sex, and any other thing fundies use to separate and label those they don't agree with. Love the sinner, hate the sin, I've always heard it said. Regardless, fundies will continue to NOT follow their precious bible or jesus, and continue to promote hate, violence, discord, strife, and injustice, all in the name of their 'god'. So I say "Maranatha". I can't wait for the rupture. No more of your ilk to deal with.

11/1/2008 10:51:11 AM

BlackMageJ

9) Given that those people who claim to be your staunchest believers are also some of the most reprehensible people on Earth, I assumed that you must either be a colossal prick unworthy of worship, or that you must hate organised religion as much as I do. I'm pretty much banking on it being the latter, especially since I've always tried to actually be a nice person rather than be horrible to others and claim it's your will.

11/1/2008 11:01:26 AM

aaa

My excuse in that unlikely scenario would be none of those.
I'd simply say: "I follow my own paths. Got room for a vagrant in purgatory?"

11/1/2008 11:28:16 AM

Xotan

You have usrely to prove that a god exists before you insist that anyone else believe in it. Over the thousands of years of man's existence thousands of gods have been bleived in... Most of these are now consigned to the category we call Myth.

So unless you can produce hard evidence, then belief in god is purely your opinion. You are entitled to it. That goes without saying. But you are not entitled to insist that anyone else should. Nor are you entitled to disadvantage anyone because they don't. You bible enjoins you to love your neighbour. It does not tell you to persecute them. But you probably will anyway as it appears you have a predisposition not to tolerate...

If you can find a chapter and verse that justifies this lack of tolerance, then you are straight away into a conflict with what Jesus (and Paul) said about love.

Enjoy sorting that one out!

11/1/2008 11:34:16 AM

John-in-Oz

God'll never ask us why we didn't believe. Being good, instead, he'll ask us 'want to send some fundies to hell?'

11/1/2008 11:39:34 AM

Mister Spak

What do you think an christianists excuse will be?
When a christianist dies and stands before Allah and Allah asks him why he didn't believe what do you think thier excuse will be?

1) The bible proved you didn't exist!
2) The concept of you was only for sand niggers
3) Only people deceived by satan believed in you.
4) I thought you was a myth made up by satan and adopted by towelheads
5) There was to much suicide bombing by muslims to believe you existed.
6) I am not dead and you aren't Allah. I just ate some bad left overs.
7) I only believe what my TV evangelist told me and he didn't tell me about you.
8) Oh crap....Look Allah I was just kidding about the whole christianist thing.

Additional Details


No where in the Koran does it say I have to accept or tolerate other faiths or beliefs. In fact Allah always asks us to expose them for what they are and to not tolerate them.

Fixed.

11/1/2008 11:45:43 AM



If there is a God and he is perfect, all knowing etc, then he will understand why I was an atheist. And he'll say, "Fair enough mate."

11/1/2008 11:46:52 AM

Mortok

If I see God, I'm gonna have a few questions for him, starting with why he never answered any of my calls.

11/1/2008 12:06:19 PM

DW

"No where in the Bible does it say I have to accept or tolerate other faiths or beliefs. In fact God always asks us to expose them for what they are and to not tolerate them."

Have you actually read a bible? What about the Good Samaritian. Ok it may not focus on different religions but different people from different parts - that dude helped a dude who wasn't like him.

Anyway if I go to hell least I'll be there with all the cool people

11/1/2008 12:32:24 PM

the dead

#5 and 7 but I would emphasize 5 as much as I could

11/1/2008 1:19:49 PM

John

God always asks us to expose them for what they are and to not tolerate them.

That's what Osama Bin Laden says, too.

11/1/2008 2:26:26 PM
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