Quote# 50840

(This letter is fictitous, but it portrays what will most likely happen when an athiest dies...)

To Kim,

We were lied to.

I sit here now in agony; it wasn't at all like I thought it was going to be. I thought it was all over. And it is, but I never expected to be like this.

I remember talking to you; we were laughing about the "Fundie" that we had heckled earlier that morning while we weere crossing the street. We had given that old guy the business, and got the whole coffeehouse lauging. He was in tears, and we thought that was just hillarious. Old guy crying; what a riot!

We were crossing the street still laughing about it, and I said I wished we coud have more times like that. You were laughing too, and joked about "invading a church on saunday" or something like that.

Then a second later, you let out a scream. The last thing I saw was the bus coming at me; I hadn't watched the walk light.

The next thing I know, I'm here.

I can't tell how much time has passed. It seems like only a few seconds, but there's no clocks here. No sun, moon, no sky. It's dark. Very dark.

The guy that stands watch is the only company I have, and he doesn't speak much. When he does, it frightens me. He stands taller than I do, not that I can tell how tall I stand now. How it is that I can see him, I can't explain. He just seems to stand out.

I have never felt this scared before.

I finally got the guy to talk to me, and I wish I hadn't. His eyes just feel like two daggers that are piercing my soul.

He tells me that in about a thousand years, I will go before God in judgment.

"GOD?!" I yelled. "But-but HE doesn't EXIST!!!"

"Yes, he DOES." he said. "And all your life, you rejected him."

" There was NO PROOF!!!" I screamed at him. I tried to get him to back off like we used to do with those bible-thumpers, but it didn't work on him; it actually seemed to make him even more intimidating.

"You had proof. All of creation screamed his existence to you. You had his holy word, the Bible, but you discounted it. I was there every time you heard his word from his servants, especially the gentleman you reduced to tears. "

He looked at me with that last remark, and I wanted to crawl under a rock.

"We were...just having fun with him." I spat back

"You call hurting an old man fun?" He replied. I actually backed up a step or two. " That old man suffered greatly because of YOU and your friend. I have been there every time that gentleman witnessed to you. You didn't have to do that. Suppose someone did that to your mother?"

I had no answer to that.

"I serve God before his throne." He said. "I have seen his face, the marks the thorns left upon his brow; the nail prints in his wrists and ankles." he said to me, like he didn't even want to be around me.

"WHAT??!!" I yelped. "BUT---that's CHRIST!!!"

"Yes," he said. "Jesus Christ IS God; And he will be your judge. "

"Judge?" I said

"Yes." he said back. " In Revelation, the Bible speaks of a time when all those who died in their sins, LIKE YOU, will stand before God in judgment. It is called the Great White Throne Judgment. Your entire life will be played back."

"WHA-" I started to say, but he cut me off.

"And at that time, every thought, every single thing you did, said or felt will come out."

I couldn't even make a sound at that point.

"You were so sure that you were right; but you never tried to piece together the clues that led to him. " He said, looking me square in the eyes. "You didn't feel you should answer to anyone. I was there each time that you said that, felt that, and thought that."

"WHO ARE YOU???" I finally screamed at him.

"The angel that recorded you life." he replied. Then he turned, and started to walk away.

A second later, he turned back "and a WOEFUL life at that." he said before resuming his stand a distance away.

I cannot believe this is happening to me. ME, of ALL people.

That seemed like only yesterday, but a moment ago, the angel said that judgment for me was coming, and it would be in a few moments. He would allow me to finish this letter, but after that, I have to go.

Kim, when you get this, make suure the rest of the gang reads it too. I don't want you guys down here. I dont want--


Robert, RR 137 Comments [11/1/2008 12:50:34 PM]
Fundie Index: 15
Submitted By: Redneck Bimbo Governor

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Wishful thinking much?

11/1/2008 12:53:52 PM


You're right---the letter is fictitious.

11/1/2008 12:57:08 PM


I've seen better fiction.

11/1/2008 12:58:55 PM


On the strength of that argument (?) I'm off to the most cracker, fundie church I can find to dedicate what's left of my miserable life to Jeebus.

11/1/2008 1:00:14 PM

a mind far far away

Nice fiction. It's pretty creative. Too bad fundies with some actually talent don't use it in a more productive manner. Oh well.

11/1/2008 1:08:31 PM


The dead know more then the living. It sucks to be alive.

11/1/2008 1:09:07 PM

Cap'n Mel

If it's dark, how can you see to write the letter?

Also, your letter is rather amusing. Please shove it up your ass.

Thank you.

11/1/2008 1:25:04 PM


More evidence that, for many people, religion is just a pathetic revenge fantasy. As if Revelation wasn't a dead giveaway already.

11/1/2008 1:28:52 PM


It's NOT creative guys... They took the whole "Letter from hell" thing that's up on YouTube that's supposed to scare children into telling their friends about Jesus and changed a few minor details.

And they SUCKED at trying to make the case of the atheist. No one I know would ever react like that person. It was contrived and hollow even for a fundie.

11/1/2008 1:29:13 PM

a mind far far away

Ah a YouTube rip off. But that's why I didn't recognize it. I don't visit YouTube. But, I retract my earlier post.

11/1/2008 1:35:10 PM

I see, so all you got is an appeal to fear?

Well, that certainly makes me want to reject reason, logic, knowledge and reality.

11/1/2008 1:35:10 PM


Why 'Kim'?

11/1/2008 1:36:56 PM


So, the moral is: Christianity is just a death cult revenge fantasy? That's all I could glean from this mess.

I mean, it's not well written at all. First, how could a person be writing a letter in complete darkness and where the hell did they find a paper and pen in Purgatory? Second, I had absolutely no emotional connection with the protagonist. The letter writer is pretty much an amoral asshole and deserves God's torture chamber if it were to exist what with reducing an old man, regardless of his beliefs, to tears for pleasure. It invoked the same feeling I had for ALL of the characters in Cloverfield... I was rooting for the monster because they were such insipid, awful, little self-absorbed shits. Lastly, how the hell would the letter reader be able to hear "NEXT!" at the end of the letter?

That there is some shitty fiction. Not unlike the Holey Babble.

11/1/2008 1:44:21 PM

Jezebel's Evil Sister


11/1/2008 1:44:34 PM


Ah, yes, of course the atheist enjoyed making old men cry. How else could they write something like this?

I would have loved to see them write one of these letters about one of the truly good atheists out there. You know, the ones who work for human rights, freedom, environment, equality and things like that (like many I know) and just don't see any proof of any particular god.

How do these people justify that they will also have a lousy time and end up in hell, according to all those fundies who say that the only way to escape hell is to accept Jesus Christ? While born agains apparently get to heaven even if they DO enjoy making old men cry... It would be much harder for them to explain their beliefs if they wrote about a good (or even just a nice) atheist.

11/1/2008 1:46:33 PM


I also think it's quite telling that he thinks of atheists as people who like to hurt others because we apparently find it fun to make old people cry... WTF?! Oh and we just don't believe because we don't want to answer to someone. Because it's not like I have to answer to anyone without God around, no. There is no government, laws, bosses, or anything else standing in the way of letting me run wild and apparently we lead horrible, WOEFUL lives. *roll eyes*

The more I read this letter, the more offended I am that these idiots think this is actually good.

11/1/2008 1:50:19 PM

Philbert McAdamia

IMHO, Letters From Earth by Mark Twain has this beat, hands down.

11/1/2008 1:54:11 PM


So wait...

God kept the thorn marks and nail holes on his body, despite the fact that he's God and could easily heal them?

A man managed to find stationery in a dark place? And then he managed to write a letter?

And despite being an arrogant little shit, he thinks he deserves better?

11/1/2008 2:01:53 PM


You fundamentalists always hide your lack of real knowledge behind a vivid imagination ;)

11/1/2008 2:04:16 PM


You're missing a huge point. Just because a person is an atheist doesn't mean they regularly make fun of Christians just to see them cry. Otherwise, nice piece of fiction.

11/1/2008 2:05:48 PM


You know, if God exists and there is such a judgment, I'd think he'd look at his "children" and say, "You know, you didn't have to be such pricks."

11/1/2008 2:09:44 PM


As the Flying Spaghetti Monster drags the Rapture Ready fundie off to the Lake of Boiling Marinara:

"You were so sure that you were right; but you never tried to piece together the clues that led to Me. Instead, you believed some book written by a bunch of bronze age Arab goat herders and lunatic-fringe Roman Jews. You never followed the eight 'I'd rather you didn'ts'. You never showed respect for your linguine. You never gave a meatball to the hungry or succored the sick with minestrone. No beer volcano for you!"

11/1/2008 2:21:53 PM


I think think must be the umpteenth version i've read of 'THE LETTER FROM HELL!!!!', never gets any less fictitious or nonsensical, however. Great all forgiving, all loving deity you have there.

11/1/2008 2:29:27 PM


The idea does not come from you tube.

The letter from Hell motif first occurs in Western Literature in Plato's Republic and goes back quite a bit further than that in Babylonian literature.

I would imagine that it was sued from the beginning of the fundamentalist movement in the 18th century, but I've never done the work to track that down.

11/1/2008 2:33:24 PM


Is this supposed to make me want to worship your petty little god?

The Nazis should have had propagandists like Robert here...

11/1/2008 2:53:39 PM

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