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Quote# 50935

[Excerpts from a fundy tract titled "Your First Six Days in Hell."]

As you move farther, faint sounds of moaning and wailing become detectable. They seem to be coming through the darkness from every direction. You become aware of a faint light. It flickers like a flame, yet thick clouds of black smoke dance all around it, keeping the flame from casting off any real hope of light. Suddenly you find yourself obsessed to know what day and hour it is. Already it feels like you've been here for an eternity...and it's only Day 1.
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The heat. It's right at the edge of unbearable. Hot, searing, intolerable heat. You crave water. You'd give anything for a drink, and you try unsuccessfully to push that desire out of your mind. The air is thick, choking, miserable...and it's just Day 2.
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At least you think it's day 3. It seems as if it has already been forever. You've not been able to sleep....You wonder when this nightmare will end. You wonder why somebody can't make it stop...and it's only Day 3.
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Looking back, you think how foolish you were to reject God's offer of salvation. You wish you could choose again. You find yourself hoping that your loved ones will choose differently, even though you realize such a choice means you'll never see them again...never touch them...never speak to them. What a horrible realization...and it's only Day 4.

American Tract Society, American Tract Society 39 Comments [10/31/2008 2:36:59 PM]
Fundie Index: 6
WTF?! || meh
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whatever

@Your Future Self
"Day Six: Dr. Who tells you to go to your happy place and informs you that you're standing on a giant tongue."

If I was that close to a giant tongue I would already be quite happy!

12/21/2010 4:11:39 PM

ThisTroper

Day 4: You realize time moves much faster there and Joss Whedon is right next to you. You strike up a conversation with him and quickly forget about anything else but the amazing human being in front of you. Then you wake up as hell doesn't exist.

12/22/2010 6:34:51 AM

v200

Sooner or later you'll meet Ghandi down there. Why? Because he wasn't a christian!

8/8/2011 10:28:25 PM

TWoozl

Evangelical Christianity: One giant case of Stockholm syndrome. Feel the love.

8/8/2011 10:32:42 PM

Dr. Shrinker

And yet, this still sounds more appealing than spending all of eternity kowtowing to a grand cosmic bully who mistakes being feared for being loved.

8/25/2011 2:12:54 PM



Slayer, that's simple, because all of that stuff will happen to YOU not to THEM, so who cares!


fundies seem to forget pride and egocentric behaviour is also a sin

8/25/2011 2:23:41 PM

Canadiest

The fundies have risen, the fake unscriptered dogma has come true, they've all disappeared.

The world has become a paradise

8/26/2011 3:52:48 PM

Punch

That's fantastic! Great! Great like one of those Han Christian Anderson fairy-tales, fits right in. Are you going to write more or do a book!

8/26/2011 5:03:07 PM

Punch

That's fantastic! Great! Great like one of those Han Christian Anderson fairy-tales, fits right in. Are you going to write more or do a book!

8/26/2011 5:06:23 PM

\m/>_<\m/

reminds me of that time i followed my buddies to a reggae festival... except replace:"black smoke" by "marijuana smoke", "water" for "anything cold and drinkable", and "god's offer of salvation" by "your buddies' word that this wouldn't interest you". but, you know... in the name of music, for science... etc...

so actually, completely unrelated... whoops.
still more entertaining that THAT load of bunk

8/26/2011 6:31:20 PM

Aquaria

Plagiarizing scumbag. Dante already wrote this, and did it better. You're just a tenth-rate thieving fraud whose command of your apparently native language is comparable to that of a turnip.

8/27/2011 12:19:27 PM

A

Sounds like a description of few days and nights in a refugee camp somewhere in an African country plagued by war and famine...

8/27/2011 12:30:59 PM

A

double post ;\

8/27/2011 12:42:20 PM

Quantum Mechanic

Hell is a myth for dismally stupid, shit-brained idiots who can all suck my ass.

9/21/2014 1:37:33 PM
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