For your safety and security, God is always monitoring your prayers. If you are an authorised pope, please enter your pin number, followed by the # key now. Otherwise, please stay on the line.
If you would like a miracle please press 1.
If you would like winning lottery numbers, please press 2.
If you have an enemy that needs smiting, please press 3.
If you would like to change denominations, please press 4.
If you are praying for rain, please press 5.
If you are praying for a Hail Mary, please press 6.
If you need a car parking space, please press 7.
If you are having trouble translating the bible, Koran, or other scripture, please press 8.
If you have a bug to report, please stay on the line and an Angel will be with you shortly...
Thank you for enjoying creation and worshiping the one true god(s).