1 2
#749075
Mortok
Yeah, it could be the rapture. Or, much more likely, Christians everywhere will suffer a mass delusion that causes them to strip butt-naked and run out into the road.
11/5/2008 3:16:36 PM
#749086
NoAstronomer
What?! Now it's seven years away? According to the researchers over at Rapture Ready the rapture was supposed to happen before the election. or was it before the inauguration?
11/5/2008 3:20:57 PM
#749088
RavenWood
Yeah, sure. Hold your breath until it does.
11/5/2008 3:22:18 PM
#749143
Eric the Blue
According to the Bible, the Rapture is about 2000 years late. But what's another 7 years compared to 2000, eh?
11/5/2008 3:36:54 PM
#749174
Lucretius
"God and Satan have a big war and God wins. "
Has no-one ever told that it is bad manners to give away the end of the story ?
11/5/2008 3:44:09 PM
#749186
The L
"In about 7 years you'll watch the news and hear about people disapearing in the night, leaving their clothes behind."
And the first thing that came to mind was the possible 2015 headline: "MASS EXODUS FROM NUDIST CAMP."
11/5/2008 3:47:32 PM
#749187
a mind far far away
"In about 7 years you'll watch the news and hear about people disapearing in the night, leaving their clothes behind" Why? Are they going skinny dipping? Or just a huge fucking fundy orgy.
"It's called The Rapture" Oh, the orgy thing.
"The book of Revelation talks all about" Is that like the Kamma Sutra?
"accually I'll just gve you a summary of what happens after the Rapture" Sure, let's hear what happens...
"God and Satan have a big war and God wins" Why, did satan not get his rocks off?
"Plus, you know how God describes Hell? Eternal burning, eternal falling, and eternal death" Oh, god didn't get his rocks off, still, that's no reason to get into BDSM.
"You will be left behind when the Rapture comes" So we don't get our rocks off either? That sucks.
"you'll be stuck in this hell-hole while others are having a party in Heaven" So I'll miss the really big cosmic orgy? Hey, I didn't have anything to do with god not getting his jollies.
It's subtle, but it's there, the sexual overtones.
11/5/2008 3:48:24 PM
#749207
Horsefeathers
"Yes there was a Christ! Just you wait... In about 7 years you'll watch the news and hear about people disapearing in the night, leaving their clothes behind. It's called The Rapture."
It's called wishful thinking. In some severe cases it's called insanity.
"The book of Revelation talks all about."
No, it doesn't. Your Rapture isn't mentioned anywhere in the Babble. The only people to be whisked into the sky and taken to heaven are 144,000 Jewish male virgins drawn from the twelve tribes of Israel.
"And the Bible doesn't lie..."
No, the Bible doesn't lie as the Bible is a book. The writers of the Bible, on the other hand, were either deceitful or terribly ignorant, possibly both, about almost everything they wrote.
"Maybe you should read it sometime..."
I've tried. The rational part of my brain wont allow me to get past the first few verses of Genesis.
"accually I'll just gve you a summary of what happens after the Rapture: God and Satan have a big war and God wins."
Wouldn't have much of a religion if that weren't the case, now would you?
"You'll be on Satan's side if you say that there was never a Christ."
Whew! I'm safe!
I don't say there was no Christ, I say he was not the person described in your Babble and likely the one written of was a composite of a number of apocalyptic preachers wandering around at the time.
"Plus, you know how God describes Hell? Eternal burning, eternal falling, and eternal death."
Eternal death? Death usually is...
"Heaven Eternal life and happiness."
Have any evidence that either heaven or hell exists? No, thought not.
"You will be left behind when the Rapture comes..."
*gasp*
Say it ain't so!
"you'll be stuck in this hell-hole while others are having a party in Heaven."
Sure, sure.
11/5/2008 3:57:05 PM
#749215
Anon-e-moose
"In about 7 years you'll watch the news and hear about people disapearing in the night, leaving their clothes behind"
We'll hold you to that. Come 2015, and nothing's happened, are you just gonna name another year when the Crapture will (not) happen - or are you prepared to admit that the whole 'Rapture' bollocks is merely some BS that was invented in the mid 1800s? But then everything stated in the Bible (never mind Revelations) is a load of bollocks anyway.
Besides, the 'Rapture' dogma is adding to the Bible, which is heresy.
Admit it, the only way the end of the world is guaranteed to happen is when the sun goes Red Giant, and takes us with it, in around 5 billion years time (even before then, all life will have been destroyed by the sun expending it's energy). And the only way people will be going up into the sky is when future descendants will travel in spaceships and leave Earth to populate other planets in other solar systems (which may require terraforming beforehand, to make such habitable). Such is the nature of science, and why NASA, ESA et al are sending space probes, creating space stations, doing research & so on to expand human knowledge, to the end of ensuring humanity's survival in the future. And hopefully in the future, man will have completely thrown off the yoke of superstitious religious belief, and completely embrace Humanism, based on intelligence, self-thought & logic.
See you in 2015. Unless you fundies want to accelerate that 'Rapture' you bang on & on about. Here, have some of this Kool-Aid...
11/5/2008 4:00:34 PM
#749244
Lou
I wonder, if there was a party, would the relatives of the damned by celebrating too? Or would they bit standing in a corner quietly mourning?
11/5/2008 4:09:58 PM
#749257
Grigori Yefimovich
A fundie party? No dancing (sinful), no music (only unending hymns), no naked flesh on view (bell-tents will be worn to prevent righteous men being tempted by brazen hussies), no booze (lukewarm cocoa is permitted to the over 21's), and no intelligent conversation (no chance). For eternity?
Oh, wow.
11/5/2008 4:15:09 PM
#749285
Xotan
You are all going to Jesus nekkid? That's sinful! I mean boobies and dicks swaying all over the place. It ain't decent! Discusting! /sarcasm
11/5/2008 4:22:27 PM
#749317
McCulloch
In about 7 years you'll watch the fundies' websites and they will still be proclaiming that the rapture is imminent. My prophesy has a lot better odds of being true than yours.
11/5/2008 4:39:37 PM
#749352
"In about 7 years you'll watch the news and hear about people disapearing in the night, leaving their clothes behind."
Why are we submitting quotes from 1876? Oh wait...
11/5/2008 4:51:07 PM
#749498
ErdeKaiser
"Eternal burning, eternal falling, and eternal death."
Meh, still sounds better than church.
11/5/2008 5:34:25 PM
#749561
aaa
The arrogance...
11/5/2008 6:00:11 PM
#749604
Shadoboy
And we're supposed to worship this elitist god because...?
11/5/2008 6:20:09 PM
#749705
Grigadil
We're in the Fourth Age. The Elves have all gone home by now, and the few Orcs remaining after the War interbred with trolls to produce Raptards.
Try keep up with the times, eh?
11/5/2008 6:46:09 PM
#749755
Boxtop
"In about 7 years you'll watch the news and hear about people disapearing in the night, leaving their clothes behind. It's called The Rapture."
Or people are just getting abducted by aliens.
11/5/2008 6:58:59 PM
#749874
BobMalarky
The book of Revelation says no such thing. In fact it says you're only getting in if you're from one of the tribes of Israel.
Some American dude just made this rapture shit up in the 1800's.
11/5/2008 7:29:18 PM
#749911
tracer
In 7 years? Not before?
Cripes! That makes you a POST-TRIBULATION rapturist! Don't you know that the Rapture Ready folks will skin you alive for spouting such blasphemous heresies?
11/5/2008 7:46:30 PM
#750121
Your definitions of hell-hole and party are mixed up. Earth will be a party, and Heaven will be a miserable, uptight group of people kissing some arrogant god's ass.
11/5/2008 8:50:41 PM
#750314
Devonian
"God and Satan have a big war and God wins"
Is it really a "war" if the combatants are that unequal? It's like a grown man beating up a little kid...
11/5/2008 10:01:37 PM
#750404
Android R
Didn't you get the news, Yukiechan? the Rapture was supposed to happen before Jesus' generation died (Mark 13:30). You either missed it by about 1900 years, or Jesus wasn't divine, if we apply the false prophet test (Deu. 18:22 i think.)
11/5/2008 10:41:10 PM
#750565
Old Viking
Well this all comes as news to me.
11/6/2008 12:57:23 AM
1 2