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Quote# 51424

21 Demon Test Questions

Do you have a demon? Take this short quiz to find out if you are at risk.

1) Do you sometimes exhibit uncontrollable outbursts of anger or violence?
2) Have you experimented with two or more forms of the occult?
3) Have you been sexually violated (raped, incested, molested)?
4) Do you sometimes manifest behavior not consistent with your normal personality?
5) Do you abuse alcohol or drugs to escape painful past experiences in life?
6) Do you commit immoral or illegal acts, contrary to your customary values?
7) Have you ever attempted or contemplated suicide?
8) Are you sometimes overwhelmed with feelings of severe depression and hopelessness?
9) Do you indulge in self-abusive behavior such as anorexia, bulimia, cutting or self-mutilation?
10) Have you experienced life-changing trauma from which you haven't recovered?
11) Do you know of ancestors who committed murder, suicide, or sexual perversion?
12) Do voices tell you to commit illegal acts, blaspheme God, or indulge in immoral acts?
13) Have you asked Satan to take your life in exchange for something?
14) Do you live a fear-based life resulting in paranoia or multiple phobias?
15) Have you experienced emotional or physical abuse from your biological parents?
16) Have you been emotionally or physically abandoned by either biological parent?
17) Have you felt repeated, disabling episodes of rejection or depression?
18) Have you failed repeatedly in significant relationships?
19) Have you failed to experience trust and lasting love from a significant other?
20) Do you consistently experience serious health or financial issues?
21) Are you significantly hindered in prayer, worship, Bible reading and church attendance?

Bob Larson, Do You Have A Demon? 61 Comments [11/4/2008 10:42:37 PM]
Fundie Index: 5
Submitted By: Lucifer's Penis
WTF?! || meh
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1 2 3
scubajesus

Jesus, it's like a list of things that are wrong with this guy's life.

11/4/2008 10:57:13 PM

Old Viking

Have you ever failed to floss before bedtime?

11/4/2008 10:57:23 PM

ladnil

"18) Have you failed repeatedly in significant relationships?
19) Have you failed to experience trust and lasting love from a significant other? "

That's right folks, everyone with an ex is infested with demons. Now pay $29.95 and this guy will get rid of them for you.

11/4/2008 10:58:58 PM

Amanda

Haha...help me, I'm being incested.
Seriously, though, most of the consequences of these things happening to someone can be explained with the help of a DSM-IV.

11/4/2008 11:02:47 PM

Jay-Sus

22) Are you a female and you expose your arms, ankles, face, ect...

11/4/2008 11:02:57 PM

TauRaven

Well hell, I am 14 of 21 , but no demons. I must not be doin' it right...

11/4/2008 11:19:41 PM

Fera

14) That's you, not me.

11/4/2008 11:20:56 PM

F

Oh, no, not Bob Larson...

There used to be a site called "The Bob Larson Fan Club" that exposed this fraud. It's offline now, apparently under pressure from Larson's lawyers.

11/4/2008 11:26:49 PM

Frogflayer

I was looking forward to this test but I only score on number 21. How very dull I am. I must now inform Xzctztl, my master, that he ain't doing it right.

11/4/2008 11:45:06 PM

Lucifer's Penis

Cool! My first submission! Like others, I scored low too. Looks like I gotta do that blasphemous ritual all over again. Damn, I thought I had it right.

11/4/2008 11:49:45 PM

Imroy

I saw enough of Bob Larson in the final episode of John Safran versus God to know that he's a fundy moron.

11/5/2008 12:15:29 AM

DemonFighter

"20) Do you consistently experience serious health or financial issues?"

Sick people and poor people need an exorcism. Wait, wasn't Jesus poor?

11/5/2008 12:16:52 AM

anonymous

Do you go to bed at night and wake up in the mornin'?

11/5/2008 12:25:52 AM

Giveitaday

incested

Is that even a word?

Do you abuse alcohol or drugs to escape painful past experiences in life?

Yes. I abused prescription painkillers and heroin for years to escape the constant pain of having my back broken and my legs crushed in a car accident. Does that count as a demon?

Do you commit immoral or illegal acts, contrary to your customary values?

Heroins a hell of a drug

Are you sometimes overwhelmed with feelings of severe depression and hopelessness?

Can you show me a human being who isn't?

Do you know of ancestors who committed murder, suicide, or sexual perversion?

Can you show me a human being who doesn't?

Do voices tell you to commit illegal acts, blaspheme God, or indulge in immoral acts?

It's called schizophrenia

Have you asked Satan to take your life in exchange for something?

Wouldn't that be sort of pointless? Can't have something if you are dead.

Have you experienced emotional or physical abuse from your biological parents?

Yes. It involved them trying to force me to worship christ

Do you consistently experience serious health or financial issues?

Can you show me a human being who isn't?

11/5/2008 12:53:07 AM

Priestling

"10) Have you experienced life-changing trauma from which you haven't recovered? "

Like my uncle being murdered when I was 7 years old?

Yup! can't be a batshit jealous motherfucker that thought my uncle was muscling in on his girl, it was a DEMON!1!!

Go die. In fact, I've got a Smith & Wesson right here that'll be happy to do the job!

11/5/2008 2:09:37 AM

tabun

12) Do voices tell you to commit illegal acts, blaspheme God, or indulge in immoral acts?

I thought this applied to most fundamentalists...

11/5/2008 2:36:03 AM

Philbert McAdamia


1) Do you sometimes exhibit uncontrollable outbursts of anger or violence?

No. The exhibitions are well UNDER CONTROLLLLLLL!!!

4) Do you sometimes manifest behavior not consistent with your normal personality?

If my personality isn't normal, how would I know?

5) Do you abuse alcohol or drugs to escape painful past experiences in life?

I wouldn't call it abuse. I call it proper use.

6) Do you commit immoral or illegal acts, contrary to your customary values?

But they are my customary values. Heh heh.

8) Are you sometimes overwhelmed with feelings of severe depression and hopelessness?

Only when Bush speaks.

9) Do you indulge in self-abusive behavior such as anorexia, bulimia, cutting or self-mutilation?

No, just the traditional self abuse, and lots of it.

10) Have you experienced life-changing trauma from which you haven't recovered?

Yes. Getting older all the time. Way, waaaay older.*sigh*

12) Do voices tell you to commit illegal acts, blaspheme God, or indulge in immoral acts?

No, the voice is my own whilst blaspheming.

15) Have you experienced emotional or physical abuse from your biological parents?

Too damn many spankings. Besides, I'm still not convinced I wasn't adopted or kidnapped by those outer space aliens that I grew up with.

19) Have you failed to experience trust and lasting love from a significant other?

My cat loves me. All my cats have always loved me.

20) Do you consistently experience serious health or financial issues?

What? Financial issues in a republican administration?

21) Are you significantly hindered in prayer, worship, Bible reading and church attendance?

Not hindrance so much as active rejection.

11/5/2008 2:49:18 AM

Mortok

1)No
2)No
3)No
4)Yes
5)No
6)No
7)No
8)Only when I come here
9)No
10)No
11)Depends. How far back do you want me to go?
12)No
13)No
14)No
15)No
16)No
17)No
18)Have to have a relationship to fail it, so no.
19)Yes, obviously, since I'm still single.
20)No
21)YES, thank god!

11/5/2008 3:26:23 AM

a mind far far away

Bob Larsen, I used to read his shit when I was a fundy. But this demon test might be fun.

1. yes
2. yes
3. no
4. no, this question is illogical
5. not anymore
6. no, again, this question is illogical
7. yes
8. yes
9. not anymore
10. maybe
11. no
12. no
13. no
14. not really, unless being paranoid of fundies counts
15. yes
16. yes
17. yes
18. no
19. no
20. yes
21. um...yes

Um...did I win? I seen nothing in this that would invite evil spirits. Most of this (other than the abuse and abandonment issues) seems like day to day life. This is crap. Boring.

11/5/2008 3:46:24 AM

Almafeta

13 out of 21. Do I win a demon?

11/5/2008 3:52:56 AM

DarkfireTaimatsu

"If the answer to any of these questions is yes, you are, in fact, human."

11/5/2008 4:32:47 AM

Brenz

Why do we get demons because an ancestor sinned? That's hardly fair.

11/5/2008 5:54:34 AM

aaa

Yes, no, no, don't care, no, no, no, no, no, no, depends, don't know the guy, irony, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, atheist.

11/5/2008 9:00:36 AM

IanC

Bloody hell, everyone has a demon according to this test!

11/5/2008 12:40:24 PM

Clown

You have more than 10 yes answers: Congratulations! You are perfectly normal teenager.

11/5/2008 1:03:53 PM
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