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Quote# 52056

(in response to a question about a misogynistic male who the asker interacts with)

First, allow me to say I definitely share your concern. The situation you describe is disturbing, and I believe one question should be asked here in the first place: how wise is it really for a young lady to have a male friend? Please know I don't presume to say this is a black-and-white issue, or that I know the one and only definite answer. I'm just questioning something our culture marked as unquestionably obvious.

Neither am I saying that a young lady should never be friendly with a young man. When I see a male co-worker, I'll definitely stop by for a friendly conversation. But my own experience made me very cautious about being bosom friends with a young man. I know many would disagree with me, but I believe many such friendships are based on concealed attraction from at least one side, which can lead to an unhealthy situation.

Anna T., Domestic Felicity 37 Comments [11/12/2008 3:43:41 PM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: The Lazy One
WTF?! || meh
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t3h_fuhr3r

Or maybe, just maybe, two people can be friends without being attracted to each other?

11/12/2008 3:48:07 PM

Philbert McAdamia

"Bosom friends" heh heh heh - she said bosom

I plead insanity.

Insanity?!

That's right, insanity. I'm just crazy about that stuff.

11/12/2008 3:50:58 PM

Skyknight

This looks more like her own bad experiences than any ideological nervousness. No reason to regard it as fundamentalist...

11/12/2008 3:57:26 PM

irish

OH NO! Two people with CONCEALED attraction? What ever will we do?

11/12/2008 4:02:59 PM

a mind far far away

This type of thinking used to bug the hell out me even when I was a fundy. You can't have friends of the opposite sex because it de facto means you want to have sex with them. It is possible to have a friend of the opposite sex and NOT want to have sex with them. It's this line of thinking that also says that dating is wrong, so you should only marry someone who you know from your church. Christian 'theologian' Josh McDowell wrote a book to this effect "I Kissed Dating Goodbye". What a bunch of nut-fuckers.

11/12/2008 4:03:10 PM

Lucretius

Does no-one else think that Anna has a huge opinion of her own physical attractiveness to men ?
She seems to think that any man who wants to be friends with her secretly wants to screw her.

11/12/2008 4:06:15 PM

anonymous

"I believe many such friendships are based on concealed attraction from at least one side,"

I think for this reason females enjoy hanging out with gay guys. You could try that.

11/12/2008 4:17:21 PM

blackgem

Now a number of my very close male friends have had or indeed currently have attractions towards me. It happens, the same that I have at least a couple of female friends I'm attracted to.

But it has never been a significant issue. Why? Because we are all adults and it's perfectly possible to be attracted to someone and not act on it.

11/12/2008 4:19:43 PM

Mortok

You ain't that hot, Anna. Now come down off your high horse before your butt gets numb.

11/12/2008 4:37:26 PM

Kelly

Just cause you can't talk to a guy without wanting to jump his bones doesn't mean the rest of us can't control ourselves.

11/12/2008 4:37:27 PM

aaa

Isolation for jebus.

11/12/2008 5:39:34 PM

Pagnostic

LOL @ "bosom friends."

Also, while the poster is definitely a fundie, it doesn't necessarily mean that she is entirely wrong here.

11/12/2008 5:53:46 PM

Route666

By the pic in her blog, hers must have been an arranged marriage - poor dude

11/12/2008 5:55:27 PM

Kris

Repeat, and still I must say, fuck you bitch. Not EVERY woman wants to jump the first guy she see's bones, only the repressed ones...like you.

11/12/2008 6:03:09 PM

Syb

It's really hard for me to regard this chick as totally fundie when she's always saying things like that it's not black-and-white and that she doesn't have all the answers. I wish the religious were more like that in general. And insulting her appearance--given that I don't think she looks atypical for an young, Orthodox Israeli--is low.

The part that should have been posted is the bit lower down about how his misogynist ramblings are obviously the fault of a culture that tells him women don't need men to survive. WTF?

11/12/2008 6:05:56 PM

Princess Rot

Sounds like she had a run-in with a "Nice Guy" or somesuch misogynist, and thus regards all men as a potential threat. It's more common than you think. How many women here can attest to feeling nervous around a group of men or an individual? How many of you have clutched your keys in hand as you walked alone, hyperaware of anyone around you? How many of you have changed the way the way you walk, talk, look or dress so that you don't attract attention? How many of you have been harassed, then immediately felt ashamed of yourself, though it's hard to know why?

It's a result of living in a patriarchy, but instead of coming to the conclusion that he was an asshole and it's not her fault, she tries to go the other way and blames herself, avoiding contact with men when possible in case she inspires him to something, whatever that something may be. It probably doesn't derive from her thinking she's the hottest thing on two legs, but probably from her blaming herself for a bad experience. Low opinion of herself and a low opinion of men, all likely caused by a sexist environment. It's sad, not really fundie.

11/12/2008 6:10:33 PM

Allegory for Jesus

"I know many would disagree with me, but I believe many such friendships are based on concealed attraction from at least one side"

You know, she may have a point. Not that there is a problem with having such a relationship though.

11/12/2008 6:41:12 PM

Old Viking

I think I'll leave this one alone.

11/12/2008 8:51:09 PM

tracer

How come the picture on that webpage shows the groom putting the ring on the bride's INDEX finger?

That was the finger that the One Ring of Sauron was supposed to go on! :-O

11/12/2008 8:57:11 PM

Proserpina

Um, you can just be friends without jumping into the nearest bed? Or you can choose to, it's called being a normal adult!

11/12/2008 9:04:34 PM

tracer

You know, if you DO hop in the sack with the guy, it doesn't mean you have to marry him.

11/12/2008 9:39:05 PM

Natasha

yeah, because same sex friends never have sex.

11/12/2008 9:42:56 PM

Snarky McWhiterson

I see nothing fundie here. Just asinine.

11/12/2008 9:51:17 PM

apYrs

this one's a doormat, forcing her husband to make all the decisions, and do all the providing.

If she's content to have sex even if she doesn't want to, and be beaten if she annoys him, then she's being paid for it, but I reacon she;d scream if it happened....

11/12/2008 11:04:23 PM

GreenEyedLilo

Unhealthy attitudes about gender roles and sexuality do have a way of leading to "unhealthy situations", Anna.

11/12/2008 11:14:49 PM
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