Jack Van Impe believes that your pets will be raptured and I personally tend to believe that will be true!
55 comments
But I thought animals didn't have souls.
Although, the souls of those at RR are probably too black for god to want to admit them to heaven.
Actually, according to the Masoretic Hebrew of the OT, animals do have souls. This has been lost in English translations. The fact that anyone could take Jack Van Impe seriously is funny to me. I've watched the guy a few times. He seems like he tries his best to scare the shit out of people. But I just always laughed. He spews the common anti-biblical dispensational clap-trap bullshit. I'm actually kind of surprised you don't see him with a tinfoil hat on his shows.
What you or Jack believe is irrelevent. The Bible says animals (other than humans) have no souls, thereby no eternal life.
If pets get to go to heaven without believing in Jesus as their personal savior, wouldn't atheists be allowed as well?
Jack Van Impe has been preaching the same Rapture bullshit for more than thirty years. And it's always gonna happen tomorrow, according to him. Look up some of his old telecasts and radio broadcasts from the Seventies, and we were living in the End Times back then, too.
No, it says 144,000 Jews. Somewhere. I forget where, exactly, but somewhere.
What about zoo animals? Lab animals? Farm animals? Wild animals?
Or is it only the genetically manipulated into obedient house trained that get to go to heaven? My friend has screaming cock roaches as pets; they count?
Well, let's put it this way - your pets are just as likely to be raptured as you are.
And the same goes for rocks, tree fungus, Corvettes, thumb tacks, used wads of toilet paper, door knobs, and any other nouns you can imagine.
I actually find this to be a profound new doctrine. Why would God necessarily abandon the beasts of the field? They are his creation as well, and in some ways more worthy of rapturing away. They obey blind instinct rather than choosing good or evil. And I have seen dogs and cats who have exhibited more lovingkindness than many religious fundamentalists. If there is a rapture, let the animals go first- not only the pets but also the creatures of the wild.
I believe Jack Van Impe is a colossal waste of oxygen.
BTW, what the fuck kind of name is "Van Impe"?
If God has any sense of justice, only pets will be Raptured. After all, who better obeys Jesus' command to love your neighbor as yourself: you, or your dog? Hell, he loves you and you aren't even his species, much less his color or religion or nationality.
If pets can be raptured, then that means that they conscientiously accepted Christ as their savior. In doing so, you recognize that they can think for themselves, which means that you tolerate bestiality.
Sick, indeed.
Just the pets of fundies, or all pets?
If just the pets of fundies, that is kind of mean to all of the other animals who just had the bad luck of not having a fundie owner. It's not like they chose their owner. Not to mention how unfair that is to stray animals. It's not their fault no fundies ever wanted to take care of them.
If all pets, there goes that theory about those left behind not believing the rapture happened. Explaining the disappearance of a few million people would be incredibly hard, but fundies seem to think the AC will be able to do it. There is no way the AC will be able to explain the disappearance of a few million people in addition to hundreds of millions of pets.
I have a fairly large Chilean rose tarantula. That could be interesting.
If it ever happened, of course.
According to your bible, animals don't have souls, thats why we can eat them.
Of course some believe that women don't have souls either, they're just put here as 'helpmeets'.
Jack Van Impe is an idiot who has predicted the end times I don't know how many times. According to the bible he should be dragged out and stoned as a false prophet.
Edit:
Now I have a picture in my mind of heaven being full of batshit crazy old ladies with 87 cats each and psycho poodles attacking each other. Yep, I'm definitely putting in the request for hell.
so..will the pets leave behind their colars and fur? Thats gross...hey wait.. why do pets get to go to heaven when they are unable to accept Jesus into their hearts?
Oh, I get it..this is meant to encourage people to join the cult; "Join us now and for a short time offer your pets get to be raptured too.. CALL NOW!"
@Jezebel's Evil Sister
> And the same goes for rocks, tree fungus, Corvettes, thumb
> tacks, used wads of toilet paper, door knobs, and any other
> nouns you can imagine.
Does that include abstract nouns? Please let it include abstract nouns. They can take their terror and their war with them when they go.
I have to give this one a 3, because while it's unbiblical, it doesn't advocate hurting anyone, misuse science, or misspell anything.
Their reasoning for "pets in heaven" is that because god loves them, his chosen ones, so much, he would want them to be happy. So because their pets make them happy they get to take them with them during the rapture, or they will be reunited with them in heaven. Alternatively, some of them sincerely believe that their pets have accepted Jesus Christ as their savior, because their cat meows when the owner is praying or some other silliness.
Their pets get to go to heaven because they happen to own them, yet people who happened to be born into a family of another religion burn in hell for eternity. Not as "cute" of a belief as it may at first appear.
Jack Van Impe is a nut job who sees armageddon in his eggs at breakfast.
I bet that Rexella was a hottie when she was younger, though.
no they won't be there because you'd love them, thus taking love away from GOd, who wants it all.
Also, since you're spending eternity on your knees praising him, you won't have time for pets.
In that case, everyone will be raptured - even Atheists! The fundies are screwed then. And Hell's gonna be hella empty.
So what's the point of Revelations, never mind the 'Rapture'?
"When you get to heaven, leave your dog outside. Heaven goes by favor, not merit. If it went by merit, your dog would go in and you would stay outside."
-Mark Twain
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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