Home Archives Random Quotes Latest Comments Top 100 Submit Quote Search Log In

Quote# 53161

If I bought a lottery ticket, Satan would probably want me to win it so he could ruin my life.

gibby, Lampstand Study 18 Comments [11/30/2008 8:07:40 PM]
Fundie Index: 15
WTF?! || meh
Username:
Comment:



1


HA HA HA!

11/30/2008 8:12:33 PM

:)

That's Right...which is why if you win, you can just hand that ticket over to me. I'm a sister in Christ and I would NOT want you to stumble...


*Eyeroll*

11/30/2008 8:14:37 PM

rw23

Then that's another reason for you not to buy a lottery ticket.

The clue to the main reason why you shouldn't bother buying one lies in the word 'lottery'.

11/30/2008 8:14:50 PM

aaa

How can you exactly ruin your life by winning in a lottery?

11/30/2008 8:26:45 PM

Ew

You could pay off all your debts, surely God would want you to be happy?

11/30/2008 8:37:04 PM

Just Passing By

He hates his life so much he tries to make himself believe that winning lots of money will make him "evil". Poor guy.

11/30/2008 8:41:35 PM

a mind far far away

You could try giving it to some charity, but that would go against your morals. So yeah, I guess I can see how it might ruin your life. You should just win and give me all the money. It won't ruin my life, I actually think that money can be used to pay bills, give to charity, make sure my daughter can go to college, fix my car, do some work around the house, etc., etc. See, these are good things, but you don't believe in helping others, you probably live in a tent in the wilderness, so no need of bills or cars, or fixing up a house, you don't believe in education, so no need of college. I could go on and on.

11/30/2008 9:39:31 PM

GreenEyedLilo

Well, that reduces the pool slightly for me!

11/30/2008 10:22:50 PM

Grigadil

Ah, but it's your Xian duty to buy many many losing tickets.

11/30/2008 10:26:59 PM

Hawker Hurricane

Not only the lottery, but every time your boss gives you a paycheck, Satan is trying to ruin your life. Best send all your paychecks to me, so I can keep you safe...

11/30/2008 10:30:42 PM

szaleniec

Satan has gone from corrupting people to... wanting to give them a lifetime of financial security? Is this the biggest case of Villain Decay ever seen?

11/30/2008 10:35:16 PM

Gypsin

I'm sure they love you at parties.

11/14/2009 4:21:51 PM

Angua

Wait, what?
You'd consider winning a lot of money against extraordinary odds a bad thing?

11/14/2009 4:55:53 PM

Philbert McAdamia

You'd be hellbound in a trice. A devil's heartbeat. Just from the temptations alone. Yes, the Master wants you to win it, but you must foil the Great Deceiver! I'm going to hell anyway. Better give it to me, I know just what to do with all that filthy lucre. Trust me.

11/14/2009 5:44:15 PM

Allegory for Jesus

Satan: "Yes...YES! You take that extra disposable income! You take it...STRAIGHT TO HELL!! MWHAHAHAHAH!"

10/22/2010 7:07:26 PM



If I actually had a date one night, Satan would probably want me to score so he could ruin my life.

10/23/2010 7:38:07 AM

Anon-e-moose

"If I bought a lottery ticket, Satan would probably want me to win it so he could ruin my life."


1 Timothy 6:10: 'For the love of money is the root of all evil'

So why aren't all your pastors like Benedictine monks, who take a vow of poverty? Insead of megachurches, they erect a tent in the middle of nowhere; the only music provided is by a guitar at most, and he never asks for 'tithes'.

Seems there's a lot of Satanists in right-wing Fundamentalist Christianity in the US.

...oh, and lottery tickets? Not for nothing are they referred to here in the UK as the 'Stupid Tax'. I have infinitely better things to do with my hard-earned:

'A penny saved is a penny earned'

-Benjamin Franklin

10/23/2010 9:51:59 AM

Ri Jayden

Maybe you should give me your lotto ticket then, seeing as I, an unrepentant, gender-bending witch, am considered, by your kind, as "ruined and sold-out to Satan" anyways.

10/23/2010 12:07:10 PM
1