Home Archives Random Quotes Latest Comments Top 100 Submit Quote Search Log In

Quote# 5345

Question for athiens... In the apocolipce, who will you join? God, or Santan? You must chose one, God can give you eternal life in paradice. On the other hand, join The Beast, and you will be killed by The Beast itself...

dracula, ChannelOne.com BBS 68 Comments [11/1/2003 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 11
WTF?! || meh
Username:
Comment:



1 2 3
Justanotheratheist

I may be killed by The Beast itself, but you have murdered the English language all by yourself. I suspect troll, because not even a goat can be this illiterate, but with fundies one never knows.

9/15/2010 2:24:24 AM



If I was an athien I would so join Santan, he gives you presents!

12/4/2010 11:05:13 AM

Kuyohashi

So, join an oppressive theocracy determined to weed out independent thought in favour of mindless Stepfordism, or sign up with someone who's going to kill me anyways....Why don't I just join up with the inevitable third faction that wants freedom from the slavery God represents and the destruction the Devil seems to represent? Why do we have to choose between a douche and a turd sandwich? I pick none of the above. And anyone who says I HAVE to choose one or the other knows dick-monkey all about free will. I don't HAVE to choose either. I can always choose to divorce myself from some petty dogmatic pissing match. There is always an alternative.

2/26/2011 12:28:19 PM

Anon2

I just ignore the mind-boggling spelling errors, and give my answer:

Well, my dear fundie, I will decide whether to choose Gods or Satans side when the apocalypse starts.

Until then, I go with the evidence: That no God exists as no Satan exists. The probability that the apocalypse will happen is extremely low, nearly zero. And that does mean that choosing a side now is nothing but a completely pointless action.

2/26/2011 12:46:10 PM

Amadaun

...look, I've been told your guy won't even want me if I'm running under his skirts to hedge my bets...but I've also been told I should believe so as not to go to Hell. So would he even ACCEPT my fealty if I offered it after the end of the world started?

I mean, I guess I'd swear to one of them, supposing such a warlords-on-Earth scenario, because trying to make it on my own after society was torn apart by Armagedon doesn't sound practicable, but it's not like I'd be very appreciative. If God's willing to feed me and protect me and no one else is who can, I'll work under him. I don't have enough pride that I'd rather die than that. Unless he's systematically murdering people. Then we have a problem.

Of course, in such a scenario I'm not likely to have copious opportunity to evaluate both sides' real policies. I won't have information. I won't be able to find out conclusively whether...Santan...is a great employer and champion of free will or a selfish exploiter with no moral guidelines, or whether God is prone to emotional displays. I'll be just another refugee, trying to find something to attach myself to as the world falls apart.

Lots of people are faced with this all the time. Hezollahis offer a little bit more of a chance to their constituents. Did you know that old-school mobsters would do things like pay for the fireworks displays in their neighborhoods? In the real world, you need to make sure of your support base.

God tends to somewhat observe this rule in scripture, though not /so/ much since he's all-powerful. I don't like him, but if it's ever pragmatic to submit, then I can't say I definitely won't. I hate lying and insincerity, but I will be *very* sincere if it comes to siding with strength.

3/29/2011 10:26:02 AM

Swede

I'll go with the one who can use spelling and grammar, thank you.
An eternity of murdered English and inane arguments, then I'd rather be dead.

3/29/2011 12:26:46 PM

jas43

lol great setup

3/29/2011 2:33:01 PM



If it happens, I'll go with God, but not before.

6/6/2011 1:02:26 PM

Clarker

God, definitely. Lesser of two evils, right? But then again, it needs to happen first.

6/6/2011 3:13:03 PM

Quantum Mechanic

"Question for athiens... "

What?

I'll be laughing for years.

5/26/2012 2:48:16 PM

Blue the Thief

Question for athiens...



In the apocolipce, who will you join? God, or Santan? You must chose one, God can give you eternal life in paradice. On the other hand, join The Beast, and you will be killed by The Beast itself...

Or take a third option and follow this guy!



Sure as hell wouldn't want to be in front of him.

5/26/2012 2:54:39 PM

Filin De Blanc

I'm not going to join you, you killed Lucy Westenra!

5/26/2012 3:06:07 PM



I'll definitely go with Santa or Santana.

11/6/2012 11:30:45 PM



Santan is the name of a high school in Arizona.

6/23/2013 1:57:03 PM

normandycap07

I'm going with whatever side has the least spelling errors.

7/24/2014 1:01:07 AM

Sasha

Vamprs cannt spel.

7/24/2014 12:27:43 PM

Mark Poe

Satan is still a better option than God, given that as far as we know, Satan is not a colossal sadist unlike the God that you worship.

7/24/2014 12:49:11 PM

Dr. Gus

Who's athiens?
Is that Athens?
Aliens?

7/24/2014 11:50:18 PM
1 2 3