My g.daughter is 15 and just announced recently that she is gay..We love her no matter what but can't condone this life style because it is against our conservative values and I believe what the Bible says literally.. She is living with her Dad who isn't a good role model and has accepted her lifestyle along with her other Grandmother, Grandfather and Uncle (who is a Lutheren preacher) they are all ok with this... Her Mother and Dad have been divorced several years and her Mom wasn't a good role model either.. Mom has changed her life now for the better and wanted her to come live with her but she said she would not change !! She would not give up her "friends" and Mom would have to "get over it" .. Mom told her she wouldn't tolerate this and they have had a huge argument about it.. my question is.. what do we say/do to this 15 year old?? She is so defensive that it is difficult to talk to her.. doesn't want to be around any of her "conservative" relatives even for Thanksgiving.. I told her on the phone that I love her no matter what but I belive what she is doing is wrong.. I have pointed out things in the Bible that show it being wrong.. It is rampant in the schools now and on T.V.. Are any of you dealing with this.. It is so sad and tearing so many families up.. Thanks..
79 comments
what do we say/do to this 15 year old?
You say all the things that you would say to her if she were straight.
and tearing so many families up
No, homophobic bigotry is tearing so many families up. In other words, it's your fault, not hers.
"I love you no matter what, but you're a filthy sinner who will burn in hell!", makes no sense whatsoever. You can not love someone and think that she deserves for your god to send her to eternal hell. That's completely contradictory in every possible way.
"I have pointed out things in the Bible that show it being wrong.. "
And I can point out things in the koran that show you are wrong.
"She is so defensive that it is difficult to talk to her.. "
And you are so retarded that it is difficult to talk to you.
I'm so sick of this shit. Saying I "I love them anyway" or "hate the sin not the sinner" doesnt excuse you from being an intolerant douchebag. If someone 'loved you anyway' but wouldnt shut up about how wrong your religion you sure as hell wouldnt think their trying to help you. Hell, I even worked on your dumbass assertion that its a choice like religion.
It is so sad and tearing so many families up..
NO! No it's not. It's bigots like you who are tearing families up. If you were accepting of her the way she is, the way you claim your "god" made her then she would not have any reason to reject you, her mother, and any other family members that she currently will not contact. But no... Instead you insist that she must conform to your idea of how she should be, and how dare she complain about. what does she think she is... an independent human being capable of choosing her own path in life? God will sure have to make her pay for being the way that he made her!
You know, I hear a lot of you RR yahoos going on about "you shall know we are christians by our fruits" and "Hate the sin, love the sinner" but actions like yours expose you as a hypocrite, either incapable or unwilling to practice what you preach.
I wouldn't want to be around her "conservative" relatives either, on Thanksgiving or any other day. She's probably afraid you're going to stone her (out of love, of course).
You don't say, by the way -- since both Mom and Dad were poor role models and this is your granddaughter, did you screw up with raising Mom or Dad?
You just blew it.
That's all.
Saying that you love someone doesn't automatically mean that you actually love them, and doesn't excuse your behavior.
I can say that I love green peas, but since I always avoid eating them people wouldn't believe me. As well they shouldn't. And we don't believe you when you say that you love your granddaughter and then go around judging and harassing about something that does not affect you in any way.
Be nice and accepting instead and it'll all work out and you can be happy together.
I don't see what the issue is. If you don't approve of something that she is doing, and you believe what the Bible says literally, then just sell her to a man to be his concubine, as the Bible provides. Problem solved.
My g.daughter is 15 and just announced recently that she eats sheelfish. We love her no matter what but can't condone this life style because it is against our conservative values and I believe what the Bible says literally.. She is living with her Dad who isn't a good role model and has accepted her lifestyle along with her other Grandmother, Grandfather and Uncle (who is a Lutheren preacher) they are all ok with this... Her Mother and Dad have been divorced several years and her Mom wasn't a good role model either.. Mom has changed her life now for the better and wanted her to come live with her but she said she would not change !! She would not give up her "friends" and Mom would have to "get over it" .. Mom told her she wouldn't tolerate this and they have had a huge argument about it.. my question is.. what do we say/do to this 15 year old?? She is so defensive that it is difficult to talk to her.. doesn't want to be around any of her "conservative" relatives even for Thanksgiving.. I told her on the phone that I love her no matter what but I belive what she is doing is wrong.. I have pointed out things in the Bible that show it being wrong.. It is rampant in the schools now and on T.V.. Are any of you dealing with this.. It is so sad and tearing so many families up.. Thanks..
Thank you Immabeliever! You just showed the difference between Moderate Christians, her other set of Lutheran Grandparents who accept and love her in the spirit of a LOVING God, and you, a fundie, who even in a moment of telling her on the phone you love her, condemn her to hell. Why in the world would she want to be around a group of self-righteous prigs who are going the whole time browbeating her over the head with their own narrow version of Pauline dogma when she be around loving relatives who give her Christian love?PS I get really irritated when people claim to follow the Bible literally then claim to have conservative values(Christ was a liberal come to overturn the conservative Pharisees that were destroying his church) and to believe in the Rapture(which isn't in there).
"My g.daughter is 15 and just announced recently that she is gay"
Going to be a good quote. I can feel it.
"my question is.. what do we say/do to this 15 year old??"
"Use a condom.. Or... whatever."
"I told her on the phone that I love her no matter what but I belive what she is doing is wrong.. I have pointed out things in the Bible that show it being wrong"
Whether you think homosexuality is 'wrong' is a personal beliefe, it's not inherently harmful to anyone. So what you must do is stop making a big deal of it and quit acting like it's a crime. She obviously thinks it's right, and if she thought it was wrong, she probably wouldn't be doing it.
What did Jesus say about divorce? What God hath joined, let no man (of woman!) put asunder. Yet you seem not to be living with this girls father who, presumably, is your husband. And you are casting stones at your daughter's lifestyle? What was that bit about motes and beams in eyes?
You are no shining example of biblical fidelity to the words of Jesus. So get down out of the judgement seat regarding your daughter.
1950:
My g.daughter is 15 and just announced recently that she is dating a black guy..We love her no matter what but can't condone this life style because it is against our conservative values and I believe what the Bible says literally [...] It is rampant in the schools now and on T.V.. Are any of you dealing with this.. It is so sad and tearing so many families up.. Thanks..
Sad thing is, even with a good support system about her, there will always be a hole in her heart where you, her mother, should be.
You fucked it up. Feel free to take the blame.
If she's 15, openly gay and rejects you, you're way too late to be worrying about role models; not that it would likely have had much of an influence on her sexuality anyway, what with it being basically preset. Game's over, you lost - stop moving the pieces.
You're going to think this is way, way out there, but you could, you know, treat her like a person.
I believe what the Bible says literally.
Great!
I hereby make you an official offer of $2000 for your 15 year old daughter and I will make her my personal slave girl, in accordance with the bible, of course.
Please let me know when we can finalize this transaction and have your husband contact me as I do not speak with women!
It is so sad and tearing so many families up.
I'm so glad that child has her father and her paternal grandparents!
Seriously, you stupid bitch, just try to spend thirty seconds imagining how she feels when you or your daughter tell her how wrong she is. Betcha you'll figure out why she doesn't want to be around you!
I believe what the Bible says literally..
Really? Well then, do you work on the sabbath (saturday not sunday), eat Pork, wear pants or mixed faberics, speak out loud in the church?
We love her no matter what
No you don't. You only love those who believe exactly as you do. If you truely loved her, you would love her regaurdless.
doesn't want to be around any of her "conservative" relatives even for Thanksgiving..
And you wonder why? If you fight with her and act hatefull to her, then she will not want to be around you.
It is so sad and tearing so many families up..
No, refusing to love someone because they are diffrent than you is what tears up families.
You know that verse in Psalms that Fundies use, when they wanna claim that there are no atheists? That in their heart of hearts everybody really knows that God exists, and that so-called atheism is just living in personal denial?
I wonder how long it's going to be before some Fundie digs up a Bible verse to claim that there are no gay people. That in their heart of hearts everybody is really heterosexual, and that so-called gayness is just living in personal denial.
Trust me, somebody's gonna do it.
Lol, you know whats the most hilarious part??? Check out the replies on RR people are giving her, it's like "I am praying for you/her; no advice"
She is living with her Dad who isn't a good role model and has accepted her lifestyle along with her other Grandmother, Grandfather and Uncle (who is a Lutheren preacher) they are all ok with this...
Ah, this warms the cockles of my cynical heart.
I am really starting to actively despise Christianity. My mom was raised to be a Christian, and she raised us to be Christian too. I have long since fallen away from that faith, as has my mom (thankfully) to a degree. However, she still maintains some of the beliefs she once had because they've been so strongly ingrained in her. When my sister came out to my mom, it was hell. My mom was miserable, blaming herself, wishing my sister would "become" straight or just say she was going through a phase. Do you know why the idea of my sister being gay was so terrible to my mother? Only because of stupid fucking Christianity. Oh sure, I know it's not just Christianity that condemns homosexuality, but it is the most prominent source of homophobia. Without all of this bullshit religion, homosexuality would be seen as perhaps an "abnormal" trait - not abnormal in the sense of being wrong, but just differing from the norm, like lefthandedness or being colorblind. But no, because religious twats like you insist on holding onto a book of bigoted bullshit written thousands of years ago by misogynist, uneducated douchebags, homosexuality is oh so horrible. What with all the other shit in the world your kid could be, or the psychological troubles she could be afflicted with, you have a stick up your ass because she's gay. Would you rather she be a dangerous murderer? A schizophrenic with little relief from her disorder? A rapist? Or maybe someone with bipolar disorder who is nearly always on the edge of committing suicide? Fuck you. Get over your outdated bullshit sense of morality. You think there's something "wrong" with your kid? You got off lucky. I can only hope for the best for her.
Your grandaughter sounds like she has a good support system, with the exception of YOU and YOUR daughter/her mother! I feel sorry for her that she has the two of you, since you both sound like hateful, spiteful, closed-minded losers. Gosh, darn, those stinking Lutherans sure are libruls, huh? I was brought up as one and I can say, my family and my former pastor would have been equally supportive. Unlike then, it sounds like you are in a hateful fundie sect.
Don't worry, you grandaughter will likely turn out to be a kick-ass individual as long as you and her mother stay far, far away from her and you don't try to shame her and make her feel like she is "defective," which she isn't. Oh, and you suck and don't deserve the title of grandmother.
You should do what all fundies do:
1. Cut all ties with her.
Oh, and if anyone asks, you still love her with all of your heart.
Of course she doesn't want to be around you if you keep telling her that being gay is wrong. Do you have any idea how hard it can be to come out and tell your family that you're gay? Her mother's refusal to 'tolerate' this is not going to help build any mother-daughter bonds. I'm just glad that this girl has a father and another set of grandparents who seem to love her for herself without trying to change her. Why don't you take a leaf out of their books, huh? Maybe then you won't lose your granddaughter.
Remember, the Bible says it's not your place to judge.
Lady, at 15, she may be experiencing normal adolescent confusion over burgeoning sexuality. She may grow up to discover she is straight, however, she may grow up to be gay. So what? You should put aside your bigotry and hate, and try to understand human sexuality, and not the way a book written by goat herders describes it. Also teh ghey is NOT rampant in schools. It's not a disease or a fucking religion, asshat.
Arghhhh, I should have said, grow up to discover she is gay, since sexual orientation is something I believe we are born with. It may take time to understand our feelings though.
"is living with her Dad who isn't a good role model.."
don't judge much do you?
Perhaps you helped the marriage to fail 'cos you didn't like him? In any event, ypur feelings about your gd's sexuality will ensure that the rift remains.
Congratulations, and may she dance on your grave
Why.. do.. they.. do.. this.. dot dot.. thing..?!
And you realize she's 15, yes? Every other teenager I've ever met has thought at one point that they were homosexual. For some it lasted a couple days, some a few years, and a few determined that they actually were once they'd gone through adolescence. Sexual confusion in adolescents is completely normal, and it only exacerbates the problem when you people shun every mention of sexuality and criticize them for trying to figure out their thoughts. What can you do for/to her? Either let her have her own mind, or leave her alone.
And BTW, yeah, the bible says a lot of things, but using it for proof of anything, like homosexuality being sinful, only works when the person you're speaking to also believes its contents are to be adhered to. I could write a book that says anti-gay bigotry is the sin and point you to it, but my believing so wouldn't make you follow suit.
"what do we say/do to this 15 year old??"
Tell her to avoid telling this to religious fundamentalists, as they tend to be fairly bigoted. At best, they'll shun her, at worse, they'll beat and/or kill her.
@#845290: "If someone 'loved you anyway' but wouldnt shut up about how wrong your religion you sure as hell wouldnt think their trying to help you."
Change "religion" to something like drug abuse or alcohol abuse, and you can see where they're coming from. Note, I'm not saying they're presenting the correct attitude, just that I can see why they think the way they do.
She's your Granddaughter, idiot! Of your flesh & blood! The least you can do is love & respect her. You can believe whatever you want to believe, but please don't make this poor 15 year old's life any harder than it already is!
You believe what the Bible says literally? Really? Well you better start cutting off your arms and gouging out your eyes when they cause you to sin, then. Better get back to me on that one whilst typing with your nose, blind torso girl.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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