[topic: What are some places you've seen the Saviors face?]
So far I found him in my cereal, the ashes in my fireplace and several of deifications. I think this pretty much proves his divine power, as he manifests his image in everyday places. Where have you seen Jesus today? Please no comments from ignorant, close-minded atheist scumbags.
74 comments
Yes, Jesus just waits for you to look in your firelace and reveals himself to you. He could prove his divine powers by, i don't know... Healing amputees!
And as always: Better close-minded, than so open minded that ones brain falls out.
You can't be a christian and not be open-minded. Of course, seeing the face of jeebus in your cereal, fireplace, and butt-droppings shows that you have some severe mental problems, especially if you go around looking for such things. No one's seen jeebus, ever. He didn't exist. All you're seeing is basic face patterns, because you're looking for them, and attributing those to a non-existent deity.
When I take a shower, after the fog clears, the area that clears up the fastest, coincidently always the same, looks to me like a flying monkey gargoyle. Or at least a gargoyle. And you know what that means? Nothing. Nothing at all.
But I like that the way he phrases it.. So far I found him in my cereal, like it was an actionfigure jammed into the box. Buddy christ actionfigure perhaps?
I went with 'approve' on this, but I like to think it's a Poe (even so, it wins points for sheer lulz). In my delusions, people don't regularly matrix Jesus!figures out of cereal.
I like my delusions and I intend to keep them, kthx.
ignorant, close-minded atheist scumbags.
And you are obviously a paragon of knowledge and open-mindness.
Salvador Dali once made a film in which he told an entire story by pointing out various faces and objects that were "hidden" in the apparently random image - a kind of elaborate "Where's Waldo". The random image was produced by urinating on the brass barrel of a pen and allowing it to corrode, then photographing it through a microscope. He probably could have found the face of Jesus there, too, had he been looking for it.
The problem is that you have not seen Jesus, the original one, so you have no way of determining if the patterns you see in whatever actually resembles the face of your fantasy figure.
But then again, since Jesus was a first century comic book hero, any face can be claimed to be him.
Doctor: What do you see in this inkblot?
Patient: I see a man and a woman having sex on a table
Doctor: What do you see in this inkblot?
Patient: I see a man having a threesome with two women
Doctor: What do you see in this inkblot?
Patient: I see a man, a woman and a German shepherd having sex in a bowling alley.
Doctor: My God! You're obsessed with sex.
Patient: I'm obsessed?!! You're the one showing me all the dirty pictures!
Peter: Brian, my alphabits are trying to tell me something. They're saying "ooooooo".
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.
From: Family Guy.
There are innocents being killed en masse in wars not of their making, there are children starving to death across the world, AIDS is rampant in Africa thanks to missionaries decrying the evil of condoms, children are dying because their parents would rather pray than take them to doctors to fix easily curable diseses and your so called omnipotent, omnipresent, omnibenevolent "god" has nothing fucking better to do that to make pretty pictures of himself in your fireplace ashes and your fucking cereal!!!!
I don't know what kind of "god" you worship, but I for one want no part of a "god" that would rather make a little picture for you when their are thousands of people out there suffering and crying out for help in his name, just to be ignored because he was to busy crafting his repose in toast for a housewife in Peoria, Illinois. Fuck you, and fuck your "god".
@Giveitaday, Good point and well said.
Notice how jesus never appears in laboratorys? notice how absolutely none of the evidence for him is verifiable? Could it bev that god just likes fuckinjg with us, or, the far more reasonable answer that these 'miracles' are jus delusional BS suffered by people of every religion. *of course when a hindu or muslim thinks they've seen something divine their full of shit right?*
So far I found him in my cereal, the ashes in my fireplace and several of deifications.
Do you often gaze at your shit for images of your saviour? Or is this just a case of coprophilia?
@JDC1
Not only do they think jesus is a white guy the want to shoehorn him into being an english speaking, republican, american too.
But the people who really disgust me are the ones who sit there typing on the internet about all the little "miracles" the god/jesus does for them on a daily basis (like helping them find their car keys, making Benny Hinn come on more than one channel, the muslim/latino/black guy down the street getting arrested, or the goth girl down at the local A&P not persecuting them.) while there is true suffering in various parts of the world.
If there was an omniscient, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent "god" you'd think he would have better things to do than play Hide-the-Christ with the aforementioned RR addicted housewife from Peoria.
So, we have a whole load of Virgin Mary's apparition.
Also, your last statement is hypocrisy to the max.
He did say "deifications", which Webster says is "the act or an instance of deifying" or the making of a god or gods. Of course, if you are looking to create gods you are going to see gods; no wonder Jesus is appearing to him so often, he's got Jesus on the brain.
'Cereal' is unintentionally funny as Jeebus may originally have been an update of dying and rising corn god myths (Frazer, Golden Bough, although not explicitly due to the religiosity of the time he wrote in).
People, he said deification, not defecation. In other words, he's claiming to see manifestations of Jesus, not patterns in his poo.
He's not a poe, just asshole.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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