This is Charles Darwin. When I died, I met God, who allowed me to make this flair. We did not evolve from lower life forms.
63 comments
Hi guys, I thought I'd just pop in to say that you Christians are completely wrong.
Just be good for goodness sake, me-damnit
Well, since the fossils prove evolution I assume that "Charles" is trying to say we actually evolved from higher life-forms who happened to be poorly equipped for surviving their environment for some reason.
Either that or he's an extremely unconvincing creationist liar.
I must admit I'm leaning towards the latter.
When I died, I met God, who allowed me to make this flair.
THAT'S A LIE! I did no such thing.
No amount of fantasizing will change reality. Look out of your window, the universe is still there and it's still evolving.
Long after the human race has become extinct, the Earth itself will still be here, supporting a variety of strangely adapted life-forms. The only consolation we have here in the present is that many of today's living things are the ancestors of the denizens of the far future.
This is Jesus H. Christ. When I died, I met God, who allowed me to make this flair. I had to wait 2000 years to do it, but it was worth the wait. Cause now I can tell you, I've been overblown as the Messiah.
LIAR.. honestly, how fucking stupid do they think we are? Do Cretins fall for this kind of shit all of the time? If so, its only proof to stay away from them, as their cretinism may be contagious.
First, bearing false witness?? That sounds like a sin to me!
Second, it says in your Bible (Lazarus the beggar at the home of the rich man) that God dosen't allow dead people to warn the living about things for the very reason that 'if they don't believe the Bible they won't even believe someone who has come back from the dead'
So, 0 points for arrogance, 0 points for sinning and 0 points for Bible knowledge... looks like its nul points for you troll.
Yeah, that's REALLY convincing. </sarcasm>
Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness (by impersonating dead people on the Internet)
Christianity doesn't work that way. Don't know much about your own religion, do you? All the people who have died in the past are still dead now. They'll only "meet God" on the day of judgement when they'll be bodily resurrected. That's why I never understand Xtians who say "he's in a better place now" or "she's looking down on me"... no they aren't. By accepted credo of your own religion they are dead for the time being until Judgement Day.
Wha ha ha ha ha ha!! Omg. Best. Flair. Ever.
Yes, God, in his infinite wisdom, would certainly see the value of leting Charles Dawrin make a Flair to warn the young idiots on face-book that his theory was wrong. That's a great use of omnipotence.
This is Jesus. When I died, I did not come back. Vishnu is letting me use his PC.
Period.
Also, technically "lower" is an arbitrary distinction. Less complex gives a better understanding of the whole thing.
"We did not evolve from lower life forms. "
Not in your case, that for sure.
You're the lowest one yet.
I FOUND A LETTER WRITTEN BY JESUS! I FOUND A LETTER WRITTEN BY JESUS!!!!!!!!
"Hey,this is Jesus. When I "died", I faked my death. Then I went to live a long life with Mary Magdolin. Man, she's a freak in the sack! So yeah, I dunno what happened with my life story. All I did was some parlor tricks and some dumbasses who were smoking some good shit blew it WAY out of proportion. Fuckers got the Roman's after me. I wish I WAS the son of god, I would send their asses to hell. And shit, if I could turn water into wine... I'd be fucking snockered dawn to dusk. Anyway, it's flattering that some people think I'm so great, but seriously, stop using me to justify all this terrible shit. Why can't you fucktards just be cool to each other like I told you? Anyway, I needa split, Mary's asleep and I'ma supaman that bitch lol. Peace out."
Amazing! The truth finally revealed!
Hi, this is Jesus. Just wanted to check in on you guys, and let you all know, PSYCHE! Haha, no, seriously, I wanted to tell you guys back then, but no, I'm just a guy. Man, though, you guys bought it, didn't you? I swear to Me, the shit I pulled, and you guys just ate it up. But no, not the son of God.
Who oddly enough is Chinese. Yeah. "God Wang". Weird, huh?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Atheists have spent 150 years not accepting that he converted on his deathbed.
NOW you want us to believe he converted after he met the god we don't believe in? THIS, to you, is a more convincing story?
Or, ONE person has permission to talk to the living about the fact that the afterlife is real. THAT person doesn't resolve which church is the most accurate, which Bible, works vs. faith, is Genesis literal or allegory, none of that.
He's going to take a moment to tell us about a scientific theory. That's what he's going to spend this wonderful miracle on straightening out.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
who allowed me to make this flair
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Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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