Well, I do believe in pirate ghosts! Or are they ghost pirates? Oh, wait, those were a flashlight shone through some Q-tips, sorry, my bad. Yeah, ghosts don't exist.
UFOs, however, I believe in completely. The United States Army Air Corps themselves coined the term. They did this in order to refer to objects spotted on early RADAR systems, something knew was flying in their range, but didn't know what it was. UFO = Unidentified Flying Object. You don't know what it is, but it's in the air, and obviously an object . . . UFO. Not necessarily extra terrestrial in origin. Unless it's a meteorite, in which case . . . yeah, pretty much an extraterrestrial UFO until you can find it and identify it. Well, it's UCO in just a few seconds. (Unidentified Crashed Object.)
Karma . . . as the idea that what you do tends to have a great impact in how people around you react, I'll go with it. But even that is only insofar as they recognize your actions. Some outside force making it happen . . . nope not buying it.
So what do you know, you never met me!
Taking a wild guess . . . this does not come from the Rodney Dangerfield we actually know and love. He wasn't this damn dumb, and I guarantee he knew enough atheists to know this wasn't true.