Believe what you want, you will be sadly surprised when the day comes to stand before the Lord and explain why you were against him or never for him.
*Me says to God*: You didn't deserve to be worshiped by ants, you malevolent megalomaniac.
Real or not, he's committed too many atrocities and been too apathetic about real problems to deserve my devotion.
12/18/2008 3:10:22 AM
Where I'm going, I don't need luck.
12/18/2008 3:10:47 AM
I'll take my chances.
12/18/2008 3:11:33 AM
Meh.. When I first saw that Dane Cook joke, I kind of smirked at it, but that was it. And I will explain why I was against him..because if he exists, then he just sits back and watches little children get raped and murdered and does nothing to stop it. He has all of the power of the universe yet he just sits back and..watches. Then he comes up with excuses like "freewill". So let me get this straight. If I sit back and watch your daughter get raped by someone else and do NOTHING to stop it, will you by that "it was the rapists freewill" excuse from me?
Yeah, your god doesnt have the GUTS to judge me.
12/18/2008 3:11:45 AM
Yeah, I'm not too worried about your gawd judging me. I don't think it has the sac to follow through. And it's gay.
12/18/2008 3:17:12 AM
@ Reverend Jeremiah, and don't forget that if you fuck up your life by doing hard drugs and drinking and you go out driving or something and get into a bad accident, but come out of it alive, it was god interfering with your free will to do so and saving your life. That is how you know god is real, testimony, YAY! Meanwhile, people who didn't ask have bad things happen to them die horribly.
12/18/2008 3:21:04 AM
I said two cream, one sugar. You were so busy babbling your revenge of the spiritual nerds fantasy, you messed up my order!
12/18/2008 3:23:40 AM
It isn't about fame, and it isn't about money. The plaque blatantly violates the establishment clause of the Constitution.
Confused? Look it up.
12/18/2008 3:32:01 AM
Me sez to god:
[first, a couple impressive armpit-farts]
Step aside Clyde, I'm here to see yo'momma.
12/18/2008 3:35:06 AM
OK, OK, I WILL have fries with that if you'll just shut up.
12/18/2008 3:46:30 AM
(Name changed to protect the ignorant)
Indeed. That would be your ignorant self. LOL
12/18/2008 3:51:56 AM
Dane Cook sucks
Bow down to Carlin
12/18/2008 3:58:41 AM
It's all about money?
True, but the atheists aren't the ones getting the tax breaks.
12/18/2008 4:08:00 AM
I'd rather return to the Earth and nourish a tree, you know, do something USEFUL in death...
12/18/2008 4:14:12 AM
Gosh, you are a bitter little chappie aren't you? I fail to see how all this despairing anger and the futile revenge fantasies are going alleviate your self-loathing.
You know now that all the drivel and bullshit that has turned you in to a brainwashed, mindless tithe-payer over the years will not work on us.
It won't work on us because we are not simpletons. Just imagine if you will, for a minute, picture yourself as a supreme deity. An omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient deity. Imagine you have created beings like man-kind. Humans with all the necessary features needed for survival in the environment within which they exist.
They have mouths to eat, anuses and urethras to defecate and expel waste liquids. They have lungs to breathe in the air and blood vessels to transport oxygen. All pumped round their bodies by a muscular heart. An internal skeleton to give them rigidity, and a musculature for strength and movement. Penises and vaginas in order to facilitate reproduction. And most importantly of all, a large well developed brain, which is the greatest tool they possess.
Of course you, as an immortal deity with the aforementioned powers have none of these physical appendages. You wouldn't need them as you wouldn't need to try and survive. Now since you wouldn't have a brain, you wouldn't develop emotionally like a human would. In other words you would be incapable of pettiness, jealousy, hatred, anger, despair, self-loathing, distrust, boredom, lust, fear, bigotry, officiousness and slyness.
It's debatable whether or not you would be capable of love, happiness, sadness, etc. Although, being omnipotent etc you could let yourself have positive characteristics, probably. But being omniscient etc why would give yourself nasty characteristics. Presumably, you would want to set a good example and would avoid negative behaviour. You would not need to be worshiped since you are already the most spiritually supreme deity, and it's a fair bet you that always have total self-possession and equilibrium.
What this over-long imaginative exercise boils down to is this; all the nasty, negative, horrible religions are going to be hard-pushed to get modern, educated, people to follow them. Why? Because everything that religions do and and say is so obviously human and corrupt with nothing spiritual in its essence at all. So it is pointless for you to get worked-up about something you can't do anything about.
12/18/2008 4:21:41 AM
A real loving God would actually care more if we were good people. Unlike your egomaniacal demon dictator.
12/18/2008 4:30:10 AM
There are some cracking posts on that thread e.g.
Posted by: cindy Location: eastern kentucky on Dec 3, 2008 at 07:50 PM
I would like to know first off, why the athiest are the ones with all the rights while the christians anymore have no say in anything, what about our right to free speech and our right to our religion, seems nobody matters but the trouble makers anymore, I pity your poor souls, when they rest in HELL. God Bless us all
12/18/2008 5:01:27 AM
I fond that joke utterly bland, from an utterly bland "comedian". Dane Cook has terrible timing and he spent WAY too much time setting and describing the scene, so much in fact that I could see exactly where it was going before he got to the key parts. Not offended by the joke, just the terrible way Dane Cook delivered it, he needs to study George Carlin and Billy Connolly videos and get some pointers.
12/18/2008 5:37:08 AM
...you will be sadly surprised when the day comes to stand before the Lord and explain why you were against him...
If there is a god, He/She/It will be badly surprised by my demands that it account for its bloodthirsty and randomly cruel behavior.
12/18/2008 5:45:14 AM
Enjoy standing out in the cold while us true warriors feast in Valhalla for eternity.
12/18/2008 5:46:49 AM
Yes, as I am making large sums of cash by agreeing with that plaque.
"they will "turn back into earth and nourish the tree" that will grow from them...Let's hope that that tree they turn into is cut down and turned into paper and used to print the bible on. LOL!!"
Ha! Dane Cook! That automatically makes it funny!
No, wait, that skit was actually pretty boring.
12/18/2008 6:06:29 AM
a mind far far away
Believe what you want, you will be sadly surprised when the day comes to stand before the Lord and explain why you were against him or never for him
The Qur'an makes a similar statement about those who followed jesus as a god when they stand before Allah on the day of judgement. So, the question is, who's version is correct? Your's or theirs. Give proofs, objective proofs, nothing from your fairy tale book.
12/18/2008 7:01:13 AM
Looks like you don't know anything about mankind.
12/18/2008 7:22:51 AM
Ahahaha, stealing from Dane Cook lmao. Atheism doesn't have sect's, it's not a fucking religion. Anyones body can turn into fertilizer to nourish a tree. Just because you're Christian doesn't mean your body doesn't decay like every other organic material. I don't see what's so absurd about our bodies doing what they naturally do. Atheists just believe that when we die, it'll be like going to sleep forever :] Which is far more comforting to me than the possibility of burning forever or sucking gods cock forever while I tell him how much I love him and how great he is.
12/18/2008 11:44:41 AM
I'd congratulate Him on His well-played game of Hide-and-Go Seek, and the two of us would laugh at how insanely Fundies interpreted the Bible.
12/18/2008 11:46:02 AM