Home Archives Random Quotes Latest Comments Top 100 Submit Quote Search Log In

Quote# 54455

[More bizzare rapture fantasies.]

The five men sat eating and talking the night away....when suddenly the whole place where they were sitting began to shake quite violently...Dan and Anthony both hollered out "WHAT IS HAPPENING?" "After shocks" Dan spoke up....."Yeah that horrible earthquake that tore through the middle of the country sure did a number up the road (about 4 hours east in St Louis)....split that famous arch right in half ya know?" "of course ..but with all that's been happening..it's hard to remember it all" "and luckily for us when that Nuclear bomb hit Kansas City...the wind was out of the South or we would have been sure to been hit with fall out as well" "those poor people in Iowa ...I'm sure there getting sick as we speak" "This world has gone completely mad" Anthony spoke up and then proceeded to share the story of the two people they saw assassinated at the Flying J Truckstop in Joplin Mo. As much as the good meal fed the stomachs ....reality was attacking their soul....Daryl the 15 year old son of Dan and anthony's cousin began to cry..."I'm just so scared...what hope is their really? I mean Pastor Tim ...you shared about the times we are about to face .. THE GREAT TRIBULATION ...you called it...so all we have to look forward to is hell on earth?" Daryl's older college cousin ..realizing he was probably the one who could talk his cousins language chimed in "Daryl look at it this way.....8 years from right now...if we stick with JESUS...we will be in the most AWESOME PLACE we could ever imagine" "and we will all be together with Jesus and your mom and my mom" "there will never ever ever be anything to fear again!" "so just chill out and sit back and see what tomorrow has before you start worrying about every other thing" Daryl like only a teen can do spouted off "well I hope heaven is good as you all say or I'm really going to be ticked"

SoundingtheAlarm, Rapture Ready 57 Comments [12/19/2008 4:51:45 AM]
Fundie Index: 5
WTF?! || meh
Username:
Comment:



1 2 3
seraphicreverie

I really can't comprehend how the hell it is these people fap to fantasies of other people suffering and the world suffering cataclysmic catastrophes. That said, the writing itself is atrocious. I guess when you're a fundie things like education and intelligence are trivial, so long as you kiss god's metaphorical ass.

12/19/2008 5:05:17 AM

Antichrist

Okay, here's a heaven fantasy that I read in a Buddhist book.

In both heaven and hell there is a giant feast set out, except our hands have been turned into metre long (3') chop sticks. In hell people are trying everything to get the food into their mouths, they try raising the food above their heads, they drop food all over the place, nobody can eat. These people are starving and can't get any food. In heaven, everyone is feeding each other and having a great time.

Do you see how you people would be the ones in hell? At least in Buddhism a bhodisattva gives up nirvana in order to lead others to the truth. You people claw and bite in order to be the first ones to suck your gods dick.

12/19/2008 5:15:01 AM

MichaelL

Fuck, this is so bad it's classic

12/19/2008 5:19:43 AM

Ryuu

Well hell, y'all. You might see it before those eight years are up if you end up getting caught in one of those cataclysms and dying horribly.

12/19/2008 5:21:14 AM

D Laurier

Huh?
A bad apocalypse novel.
Didnt those go out of fashion in the 1990s?

12/19/2008 5:28:56 AM

a mind far far away

First, I thought, according to dispensational eschatology, that the "True Christians (TM)" were supposed to be 'raptured' out of here before the tribulation starts. Second, there's only one line here that I can agree with, but for different reasons than the poster probably meant: reality was attacking their soul.

12/19/2008 5:31:22 AM

Shadoboy


12/19/2008 5:39:22 AM

kingoftheheavies

Wow, all the edge-of-the-seat excitement, followed by that knee-slapper from Daryl.

12/19/2008 5:43:46 AM

WMDKitty

Please, PLEASE, no more bad rapture-fic!

12/19/2008 6:11:50 AM

Malkavian Jeff

My rapture fantasy:

It's 2007, Shelby Corbitt claims the rapture comes this year.

Bam, Happy 2008.


I don't think I'm doing this right...

12/19/2008 6:31:54 AM

Fdragon

These guys really like death and pain, don't they? I've seen more human kindness in Stephen King novels.

12/19/2008 6:37:35 AM

Ronni Bom

No direction, unbelievable characters, no plot, no excitement curve, to many places mentioned, lot of plot holes and horrible written. I don't think this will ever published as a movie or a book.

Now let us break this into pieces.
The five men sat eating and talking the night away.
The five men? Is that a rock group or something?

and luckily for us when that Nuclear bomb hit Kansas City
God uses nuclear bombs? human kind thee shall be smited with thee atomic bomb, so non creature can live in the area

Daryl the 15 year old son of Dan and anthony's cousin began to cry
Is he both the son of Daryl and Anthony's cousin?

I'm just so scared...what hope is their really? I mean Pastor Tim
What hope is there really. Who the fuck is Pastor Tim? Was he also at the table, what is his connection to the others?

Daryl look at it this way.....8 years from right now...if we stick with JESUS...we will be in the most AWESOME PLACE we could ever imagine
8 years? 8 years? Thinking that Obama well be re-elected?
But 8 years, look how fast the other cities was destroyed. What makes you think you will survive one year, let alone 8.

well I hope heaven is good as you all say or I'm really going to be ticked
That makes him a non-believer.

BTW are all the males in this story gay? No mention of women, except their moms.

12/19/2008 6:40:36 AM

Mortok

Post apocalyptic slash-fic. Interesting. When are we getting to the good stuff?

12/19/2008 7:55:50 AM



"and we will all be together with Jesus and your mom and my mom"

Just how do you know this? Your mother may have been evil.

12/19/2008 8:54:25 AM

Michael

Sniffing the glue again?

12/19/2008 9:28:10 AM

Beeblebrox

What the hell is wrong with you?

12/19/2008 9:57:35 AM

MK

This, unfortunately, is what happens when you cross a stream of consciousness with a stream of piss. Egon warned you not to cross the streams.

12/19/2008 11:01:03 AM

Lucretius

Really terrible as others have pointed out
In addition terrible dialogue , who on earth speaks like this ?
"....."Yeah that horrible earthquake that tore through the middle of the country sure did a number up the road (about 4 hours east in St Louis)"
Is this "character" really supposed to have defined the area so precisely with the "(about 4 hours east in St Louis)" part ?

12/19/2008 11:16:51 AM

aaa

He came 14 times while writing this.

12/19/2008 11:48:09 AM

szaleniec

To give the Rapture heresy its due, it makes for some damn good fiction. It's just a shame that most of it is badly written preachy bullshit.

12/19/2008 11:51:54 AM



This is the suckiest one yet. Horrible writing, no emotional hook. Two thumbs down :(

12/19/2008 12:01:03 PM

fundiesRtehlulz

Badly written, shitty characters, shitty plot, batshit insane. The latter because you actually can't wait until this happens for real, you sick, sick fuck. What's even more telling about the nature of you Christians is you actually look forward to taking part in the judgment of sinners, and the casting of them to hell. You're fucking psychopaths.

12/19/2008 12:03:38 PM

Illuminatalie

Shitty fantasy. Try harder.

12/19/2008 12:28:35 PM

Mister Spak

Then the reader closed the book, thought "this fiction is really crappy" and threw the book in the trash.

12/19/2008 12:37:18 PM

Reverend Jeremiah

other people are suffering, our death cult members are taking advantage of their suffering and getting to to join..misery loves company..

fap,fap,fap,fap,fap

12/19/2008 2:14:21 PM
1 2 3