Quote# 54561

Radio Frequency Identification, the technology used in human implantable microchips. It's being developed as a new type of ID. You can get a tiny microchip implanted in your hand which can be scanned to identify you, and can also track your location. It could potentially replace all forms of ID and link you to a central database containing all your bank account info, credit card info, etc so you never have to carry a wallet again, just go shopping and have your hand scanned. The technology could usher in the ultimate cashless society, as well as the ultimate surveillance society. Forget to pay your taxes? Don't worry, your friendly government will deduct it right out of your chip. Got a parking ticket? Traffic fine? Fine for saying something un-PC? That comes right out too. Up to some un-PC activities? Up to no good? With location tracking, your friendly government will be able to monitor you at all times and provide the corrective discipline you need. With RFID chips, you'll always get the joy of obeying your friendly government, paying your taxes and fines, and behaving like a good well-trained member of society. Don't listen to those nutty fundie Christians who might tell you this is dehumanizing or degrading. Get an RFID chip implanted in your right hand or forehead today!

Joe Valentine, Rapture Ready 36 Comments [12/18/2008 6:43:37 AM]
Fundie Index: 4

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...The fuck? CTSTDT?

12/18/2008 6:48:50 AM


Since RFID chips aren't a reality yet, conspiracy theorist. But not the most nutty, even though he is on rapture ready.

12/18/2008 6:53:59 AM


They act like everyone except them is jumping for joy and lining up to get chipped.

12/18/2008 6:58:02 AM


"Get an RFID chip implanted in your right hand or forehead today! "

It would be a hell of an improvement over what's in your head, Joe!

12/18/2008 7:02:45 AM

a mind far far away

Fundy Nanotech Paranoia. When this theory doesn't pan out, what will it be next? I need to know so I can prepare my jokes in advance.

12/18/2008 7:03:22 AM

Thinking Allowed

I've been hearing now for like...oh... 25+ years about this nonsense. I think it's time for these yahoos to get a new routine.

12/18/2008 7:17:33 AM


Actually RFID chips are very real but use in humans is minimal at best. There's a few cases in Mexico where it's being used but those are more exceptions than the norm.

Walmart is the master of all things RFID. Love them or hate them, Walmart has done an amazing job of utilizing RFID on packaging (from individual items to palettes of junk) to inventory, route, ship and move items within their distribution network. Pretty much everything at Walmart is tagged with an RFID chip.

But yeah, way back in my Seventh-Day Adventist days (we're talking late 80s, early 90s here), this was all the rage in the church. An implanted chip to track us and so on. I guess SDA's were crazy fundie before it became fashionable (and they're completely heterodox to boot!!!).

12/18/2008 7:26:16 AM


Meh, we'll just put it in you while you sleep.

12/18/2008 7:27:56 AM

Rat of Steel

"Don't listen to those nutty fundie Christians (...)"

*at the word 'Christian', Joe's rant is cut off in mid-sentence*


"Joe Valentine, you are fined one credit for violation of the Verbal Morality Statute."

12/18/2008 7:42:16 AM

Epic Wolf

While I don't trust RFID chips being implanted in anything, especially humans, what fundies compare RFID to is the "Mark of the Beast". Also they have the conspiracy that everyone will be out to 'persecute Christians".


Still, I don't trust any government implanting shit in me.

12/18/2008 8:17:22 AM


Oh, come on. Career chips aren't even going to be introduced until the year 3000, and then they're going to be forgotten, except for a single episode in the third season.

12/18/2008 8:40:06 AM


Imagine what fundies would do with RFID chips if they were in power.... *shudders*

Nasty thought.

12/18/2008 9:55:02 AM


Says the guy who claims that you should obey the all-seeing demon god dictator.

12/18/2008 9:57:34 AM

deviantART mod

The only function Joe Valentine's brain serves, is to keep his ears apart.

12/18/2008 10:07:02 AM


Err, is this really fundie? I think he might actually be being sarcastic.

12/18/2008 10:54:31 AM

Particle Physicist


A decent hacker could just vanish.

12/18/2008 10:59:04 AM


Appeal to negative consequences is a logical fallacy.

12/18/2008 11:10:30 AM


@ Epic Wolf-

I agree.

12/18/2008 11:31:15 AM


In most developed countries I can;t see the public going along wiith chip inplanting. The ID cards in Britain caused enough of a shit storm (although I think they still plan to go ahead with them at some point).

12/18/2008 11:54:32 AM


Fools. While you've been pleasuring yourself with your black and decker tools and dreaming of a rapture, they have been putting borg nanoprobes in your fast food for years. When the Galactic Empire decides the population of the earth has been saturated enough, you'll all just turn into Borgs.

12/18/2008 12:34:42 PM


The worst part about the whole thing is where you have to keep your checks for the places that don't accept hand waving as payment. Hmmm. Maybe he saw Star Wars and thought the jedi mind trick was real.

12/18/2008 12:40:58 PM


This man is not familiar with the concept of 1337 haxx0rz to prevent the goverments from stealing your money or tracking you location. I could guarantee the day these chips came out there would be hacks for them.

Also not every government is evil and out to get you. Most governments are filled with (gasp!) real, decent humans who are not going to have a dictator/genocidal/tyrant streak.

12/18/2008 12:48:18 PM

Mister Spak

Why don't we have barcode tatoos like the fundies were saying 30 years ago?

12/18/2008 12:57:22 PM


Someone has watched "The Demolition Man" one time too many.

12/18/2008 1:17:33 PM


I wouldn't label this as fundie and I wouldn't get an RFID myself. To get chipped is to kiss your privacy and freedom goodbye. You would have to be really dumb to get one. I mean, what are we? Sheep?

And, correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't these implantable chips the reason why cancer has increased in pets?

12/18/2008 1:40:37 PM

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