Quote# 55052

*Chuck Norris commenting on those who steal baby Jesus' from Nativity scenes. Yes, it is that Chuck Norris.*

Back here in the state of Texas, when the Jesus statuette was heisted from the nativity of the Herrera family of North Richland Hills, Gloria Herrera, 48, a Catholic, passionately conveyed what we are all wondering, "They took the family Jesus. How can anybody do that?" What type of world do we live in when hoodlums (young and old) commit sacrilege for entertainment?

These religious heists beg the question: Is stealing baby Jesus figurines harmless juvenile fun or intentional hate crimes? Whatever the answer to each, there's absolutely nothing funny about vandalism. Skeptics might mock these defacements as negligible crimes, but stealing the soul of nativities is one more dismal sign of a culture gone awry. Religious Grinches who steal these symbolic Christs are pathetic piles of yuletide trash.

Chuck Norris, World Net Daily 73 Comments [12/29/2008 6:17:42 AM]
Fundie Index: -3
Submitted By: Captain Janeway

Username  (Login)
Comment  (Text formatting help) 

1 2 3 | bottom

"Religious Grinches who steal these symbolic Christs are pathetic piles of yuletide trash."

ahahaha Yuletide is pagan.

12/29/2008 6:25:37 AM


I'm pretty sure the Grinch would have taken the whole set.

12/29/2008 6:29:46 AM


This is hardly that bad, aside from the whole Yule being a pagan tradition and that it's just theft, this is hardly fundy.

12/29/2008 6:31:30 AM

International hate crimes, meet your newest debasement, mindless consumerism.

That's the part about this quote that makes me the maddest. It isn't a hate crime, its just theft. Get over your persecution complexes. Your kind ignore real international hate crimes, like what your precious Israel is doing to the Palestinians right now, or what Iran does to the Ba'hais, or the slaughter in the Congo. All this is much more important than your stupid Jesus statue getting stolen when you can just waltz down to the local Wal-mart in your gas-guzzling SUV and buy a new one. Report the theft to the police and GET THE FUCK OVER IT!

12/29/2008 6:54:00 AM


Chuck, I think you have had one too many round house kicks to your head.

P.S. Yuletide is pagan, and pagans don't give a hoot about your baby Jesus idols.

12/29/2008 7:16:22 AM

Rat of Steel


Much as I dislike it, I'll have to not only proclaim this entry non-fundie, but actually agree with the source of what's arguably the sorriest meme on the Internet.

Unlike Carlos here, it doesn't matter to me that a Nativity scene is inherently Christian. Still, theft and/or vandalism is hardly an honorable way to show one's dislike of Christianity. Placing a Nativity scene on government land is one thing, but this happened on private property. "Bah Humbug!" to the thief, whomever s/he is.

That having been said, #879776 is also correct. A hate crime necessarily entails violence and/or the clear and present threat of violence. This was theft, nothing more.

12/29/2008 7:17:29 AM

Thinking Allowed

12/29/2008 7:17:36 AM


Please don't kill me Mr. Norris aaaaaiiiiieeeeeee!!!!!

12/29/2008 7:25:56 AM

The Outsider

On the contrary. I find vandalism is be downright hilarious.

12/29/2008 7:28:11 AM


Why are the right wing religious nut jobs so gay for a second rate actor (Chuck Norris)?

12/29/2008 7:32:24 AM

Punches Pilot

I don't know if stealing a Jesus doll is a hate crime, but it's certainly illegal. Leave other people's stuff alone - whether you like their nativity scenes or not.

12/29/2008 7:41:28 AM


On the night before Christmas eve, I was driving around with a few friends and we were just dicking around. My one friend noticed a car with its trunk slightly open, so we stopped the car and said friend went over to the other car and looked in the trunk. He found a can of beer and took it, then we drove off. A few minutes later, we stopped and he got out of the car and walked up to the huge nativity scene in front of the town church. He tried to put the beer in the hands of one of the wise men statues, but it wouldn't fit so instead he just placed it in the manger with Jesus. As we were waiting, a guy in a car pulled up to the intersection, so we got the fuck out of there. This asshole was following us, so my boyfriend turned off the lights of his car and took a few turns until we lost the douchebag. Hate crime? I think not. Vandalism? Hardly. Hilarious and entertaining? Yes. The best part is that the next morning, the beer was gone.

12/29/2008 7:42:02 AM


Was the can still there?

12/29/2008 7:57:24 AM


Chuck Norris has been compared to Santa in that he goes into a little boy's room and leaves with an empty sack.

12/29/2008 8:14:45 AM


a couple months ago, i got a chuck norris folder from a family member who thought i was hilarious.

i promptly threw it away.

12/29/2008 8:46:00 AM


@ Mephistopheles, Lmao, that's not right

12/29/2008 9:17:00 AM

El Zorro

I wouldn't call it hate crime, just some douches that find it hilarious to steal the main character in the scene. Probably easier too to carry away baby Jesus than, say, Joseph.

12/29/2008 10:27:31 AM


Chuck, if you were creative, you'd sneak up on nativity scenes and replace the baby Jesus with stacks of Monopoly money.

12/29/2008 11:01:26 AM

Percy Q. Shun

Chuck Norris doesn't just defend the baby jebus;

Chuck Norris kills for the baby jebus.

12/29/2008 11:28:22 AM

Mister Spak

"What type of world do we live in when hoodlums (young and old) commit sacrilege for entertainment?"

A better question would be what kind of world do we live in when one country can kidnap people from another country and imprison them without charges trial or access to a lawyer. Put your theft of a cheap piece of plastic in that context dumbass.

12/29/2008 11:57:54 AM


It was me what stole the Jesus. I just done it for a larf. I was a bit drunk, you know? I know that Gloria, she lives down my road, she is a nice lady. Didn't mean nothing by it. Sorry.

12/29/2008 12:08:09 PM


Good thing they didn't steal any cheesy patio lanterns, or Kim Mitchell might have chimed in.

These religious heists beg the question
You'd think that Chuck Norris could have afforded an education along the way.

but stealing the soul of nativities
Plastic jesuses are SOULS now?

12/29/2008 12:20:06 PM


*Must* resist urge to reference internet meme... does anyone else think it's kind of ironic that the right-wingers who whine about hate crimes whenever their poor widdle persecution complexes are put out of joint probably opposed the introduction of hate crime legislation?

12/29/2008 12:28:16 PM


It was stolen by a horde of rampaging ninjas.

12/29/2008 12:34:17 PM


Its a hate crime when a baby Jesus figure is stolen... but not when a gay person is beaten up/killed just because he was gay. Of course.... /sigh

12/29/2008 12:37:26 PM

1 2 3 | top: comments page