[Is that a fapping sound I hear? ]
I've heard more than one pastor preach on "There isn't going to be a rapture" - that's why I think it's going to happen on a Sunday morning- and leave a lot of very surprised people behind podiums!
Can't you just imagine -
"There's not going to be a rap....[POOF]"
"Every time those people tried to tell us this was going to happen you laughed at them."
34 comments
It ain't gonna happen. It just ain't gonna happen. The universe is not put together that way.
So, to those folks who expect it to happen: You will die of old age [or whatever], still waiting for a bullshit non-event.
Hi Daniel1210, do you think it will happen in your lifetime? I bet anyone as much as they want that it won't? That's how confident that I am.
Yeah! I know. Easy for me to say that when it's a no-brainer. Oh well!
Whoosh! de da doo day.
Whoosh! de da doo day.
For fuck sakes, you morons never give this horseshit a rest, do you?
You are going to die unraptured. End of story.
1) The idea of the Rapture came from a little fringe society in the 1850s who laid spurious claims to such due to a "child prophet" whom they were trying to get canonized.
2) Even working on the assumption that everything in the bible is cold hard truth, there isn't going to be a rapture. There never was going to be a rapture, because a Victorian cult made that shit up.
Those pastors are right, and you're the one who's going to be waiting on a day that never comes.
Just curious. I studied and believed the bible for 25 years, and I never remember reading about the rapture. Care to show me where it is? Oh wait, that's right, it's NOT in there.
"I've heard more than one pastor preach on "There isn't going to be a rapture". But I'm a friggin' genius - I know better than they do. I read Tim LaHaye's "Left Behind" books, and, like, hes explained it all to me and how, like, its all in the Bible and stuff. What do those moron theelojuns know? Just 'cause theyv read the Bible in, you know, all those old Jew languages, and studied it all their lives, that dont mean they know more than Tim LaHaye and I. 'Cause we're friggin' geniuses and we know more about, you know, the Bible and stuff, than anybody."
There. Fixed.
Efrain and a mind far far away,
I've studied it too.
1 Thessalonians 4:16-18 (King James Version)
And again:
51Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed,
The event is there more than once, but is the Bible fact or fiction????? That's the million dollar question.
"Every time those people tried to tell us this was going to happen you laughed at them."
Just because people laughed at you doesn't mean you possess some deep supernatural truth. People laughed at Bozo the clown too.
"Can't you just imagine -
'There's not going to be a rap....<POOF>'"
Yes, you're right - I can't imagine it. Because it's not going to fucking well happen. Ever. Just ask Harold Camping after midnight 21st May. This Saturday, to be exact.
Fundamentalism is basically just one big revenge fantasy - no-one respects them now, so they retreat into a fantasy world where the most powerful being in the universe thinks they're super-special and awesome and will beat up all the people they hate one day. These people have the mentalities of seven year-olds.
Well, it would make a good joke, certainly. Except, have all the fundamentalists disappear into Hell. Yeah, that'd be awesome...
Mmmm - no. The disappearance of people from church is because (pick one or more):
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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