Well, there was a big bang. Later there was a bunch of stars and planets, see? And on at least one planet there was oceans of gunky goo.
Some of the goo got zapped by lightning and stuff happened...and we got monkeys...and us!
That's evolution for dummies!image image
57 comments
ROFLMAO! Made for dummies, by dummies. I stand in awe. RR's the one place I'd believe this wasn't a poe! Hahahahaaahhahhahaa! This really deserves to be in the top 5 of 2008!
I read that thread, they're arguing over it's more correct to say 'First there was God' or 'God was before the beginning'. I have to stop reading these. I'm going to get the hiccups and those are no fun.
Well, there was a big bang. Later there was a bunch of stars and planets, see? And on at least one planet there was oceans of gunky goo.
Some of the goo got zapped by lightning and stuff happened...and we got monkeys...and us!
Well, there was a void. Later there was the face of the deep and God's spirit, see? And on one planet there was the Word: Fiat Lux!
Some of the planet got zapped by God and stuff happened...and we got Humans...and our vegetarian friends the dinosaurs.
That's Creationism for everyone.
Well, there was this nothingness stuff, exept that it wasn't nothing and this old guy with a beard was there.
Then he got board and poofed the universe into existance and put some stuff in it.
And then he got angry because the stuff he made was using its free will (which he had given them) and decided to torture most of them forever.
That's evolution for dummies
Yep. That's why that's your version, and all those other fundy fucktards. In reality, however, evolution does not work that way.
Wait a minute . . . that's just about how it happened. Here is an RR fundie who has just about come upon the truth.
Note: "on at least one planet there was oceans of gunky goo." So Sam is saying that there may be more planets with gunky goo?
Gunky goo goo goo.
fergus
Only the second half of the second part is anything to do with evolution. The rest is cosmology and abiogenesis. In any case, it's not so much for dummies as by dummies.
Incidentally, we are at no point descended from monkeys. The closest we are to monkeys is the common ancestor of the simian infraorder which lived 25 million years ago. We're more closely related to chimpanzees, gorillas and orangutans. *Don't* let the Librarian hear you confusing apes and monkeys...
Meh. It's still more accurate than either of Genesis's versions.
Of course he's attempting to satirize ideas his cult-leaders tell him he's not allowed to believe, but the job he does just makes him look foolish.
It's as if he attempted to satirize gravity by asserting "Well the world is really round like a ball, but the water doesn't fall off it. On the other side of the world people are upside down to us but they don't fall off either. The shortest direct route from New York to Sydney is to dig a giant tunnel through the Earth.
"That's gravity for Dummies."
In both instances it's a case of satire failure.
"Well, there was a big bang. Later there was a bunch of stars and planets, see? And on at least one planet there was oceans of gunky goo.
Some of the goo got zapped by lightning and stuff happened...and we got monkeys...and us!"
Pretty much, although this is an incredibly stripped-down version of the origins of the cosmos and humanity. Biological evolution is only a small part of the whole picture.
Oh, and thank you for acknowledging that the Earth may not be the only planet with life on it.
Well, there was this space man. He always lived. Then there was a bunch of stars and planets, see? Later, there was a bunch of dust on one planet, and the space man made monkeys, and all other animals. Then the space man made mankind.
Thats creationism for dummies.
And running around screaming "GODDIDIT!" is SOOOO much more well reasoned and insightful. Difference is...yours has little bearing on what the Big Bang and Evolution entail (Start with the fact that you, like many other fundies, seem to not grasp that the two are separate, distinct entities, within two wholly different schools of science) and what little it does have, it is simplified to the point that it's insulting.
Oh look, he's made a self portrait at the end. How cute!
Only the two last parts are evolution. Big bang is cosmology, goo-zapping is abiogenesis.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.