your mind is a battle field, never forget that. At any given time you've got emotions and thoguhts that are "influnenced"
You can experience God to the point you have NO doubts. to the point where you doubt your own existence before you doubt the existence of God. Religion doesn't make sense. God HATES religion. With a passion. Read the new testament and see the point Jesus was trying to get across. Stop focusing so much on Gods love, it's nice..yes, but focus on hell 4 now also.