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Quote# 56947

*eviticus International promises to help miserable straights become ex straights. Brother Richard of Leviticus, says anyone can become a happy well-adjusted gay or lesbian through the power of prayer and Jesus Christ.*

What???
Heterosexuality is the new sinful lifestyle???
Praying to Jesus to make you gay? Wow, that is definitely a new one. Many homosexuals used to pray to be straight!
Surely we must be near the Lord's return!
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I am not sure how much more I can take of the Gay agenda. I might try to get a head start to see if I can meet the rapture half way.
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I get so angry reading thees posts! It is frustrating watching your Lord and savior being trashed. I hurt for the people that are falling for lies, Satans and BO's. It seems so hopeless, and dark. I just need to focus on the light!! Yes the King of Kings and Lord of Lord's is coming!!! Hallelujah to the Lamb! I am so glad God is in control. I can't stand 10 minutes of all the heretical, self serving, world. Even so, Lord Your will be done. Give me strength, give me patience, renew me, set my heart ablaze. We can no longer be silent, You are uncontainable, Lord, give us the words to speak, and lead people to us because they want what we have, YOU.
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I really, really, really don't want to be gay. I'd rather stay miserable and saved thank you very much.
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That is just disgusting. Sometimes I wonder why we should even pray for people like that.

many, RR 44 Comments [1/24/2009 8:12:11 PM]
Fundie Index: 5
WTF?! || meh
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Jezebel's Evil Sister

It's a joke, son. Not at all surprised that you don't "get" parody. A lack of a sense of humor goes hand-in-hand with being a superstitious, brain-dead rapturist.

P.S. If you can't find any joy or meaning in even 10 minutes of life, how are you going to tolerate an eternity of it?

Yay! Firsties!

1/24/2009 8:20:04 PM

Mortician

This whole thread is a goldmine. I hate every last one of these fucking assholes. Some people on there are even hoping that their children are taken with them when the "rapture" happens. What keeps these people from killing their children to "save" them?

1/24/2009 8:20:54 PM

fundiesRtehlulz

I get so angry reading thees posts! It is frustrating watching your Lord and savior being trashed. I hurt for the people that are falling for lies, Satans and BO's. It seems so hopeless, and dark. I just need to focus on the light!! Yes the King of Kings and Lord of Lord's is coming!!! Hallelujah to the Lamb! I am so glad God is in control. I can't stand 10 minutes of all the heretical, self serving, world. Even so, Lord Your will be done. Give me strength, give me patience, renew me, set my heart ablaze. We can no longer be silent, You are uncontainable, Lord, give us the words to speak, and lead people to us because they want what we have, YOU.

You are extremely weak minded.

1/24/2009 8:27:30 PM

aaa

I find this rather amusing. It's like watching a midget fight.

1/24/2009 8:28:08 PM

GreenEyedLilo

Gods, these people really, really, really can't get a joke!

By the way, I truly do *not* want what they have. It doesn't look like much fun. It looks very hard on one's blood pressure, too. The negative health effects of this sort of thinking will probably be the way they get to meet their Maker, should he exist, not any Rapture.

1/24/2009 8:42:36 PM

Osiris

Welcome to religion. Please leave your funny bone at the door.

1/24/2009 8:43:54 PM

Efrain

The shoe is on the other foot, and they don't like it.

1/24/2009 8:47:19 PM

Old Viking

The Leviticus International promise is extremely funny. To a well balanced person almost everything is a source of humor. Fundies know nothing of fun and laughter. They consider every aspect of life to be a pile of dung; the life that their creator supposedly gave to them.

And my don't they squeal when one of their contemptible beliefs turns on them.

1/24/2009 8:47:53 PM

toth

Apparently their sense of humor has already been raptured.

1/24/2009 9:04:06 PM

Fanatic-Templar

That's right. "Satans lies" does not require an apostrophe, but "Lord of Lord's" does.

Are you doing this on purpose?

1/24/2009 9:16:09 PM

Jadehawk

*snort* fundies failing to recognize humor are hilarious.

1/24/2009 9:29:02 PM

Random Guy

Sarcasm is totally lost on you people, apparently.

1/24/2009 9:38:07 PM

pete

The whole damned crew at RR should be locked up for evaluation and treatment. They are becoming positively dangerous.

1/24/2009 9:38:49 PM

Illuminatalie

Poe's law in reverse.

1/24/2009 9:48:01 PM

HoJuSimpson

I might try to get a head start to see if I can meet the rapture half way.

LMAO!! I would love to hear you elaborate more on this.


I'd rather stay miserable and saved thank you very much.

A fundie in a nutshell. This is tragically sad.

1/24/2009 9:53:44 PM

IanC

Its a fucking PARADY of an ex-gay organisation!

1/24/2009 9:59:40 PM

atrasicarius

I am not sure how much more I can take of the Gay agenda. I might try to get a head start to see if I can meet the rapture half way.


1/24/2009 10:12:01 PM

Jeff Weskamp

Please look up the words "parody" and "satire" on Wikipedia, many.

1/24/2009 10:28:01 PM

Random Man

"I might try to get a head start to see if I can meet the rapture half way."

Scary.

"I'd rather stay miserable and saved thank you very much."

lol

1/24/2009 10:31:53 PM

Evil Pirate Captain Mel

"I'd rather stay miserable and saved thank you very much."

You people really enjoy a depressing, masochistic lifestyle, don't you? Well, whatever gets your rocks off, pal. Just stop demanding that rest of us live as miserably as you.

1/24/2009 10:46:37 PM

Thejebusfire

I am not sure how much more I can take of the Gay agenda. I might try to get a head start to see if I can meet the rapture half way.

The gay agenda isn't real and neither is the rapture.

I get so angry reading thees posts! It is frustrating watching your Lord and savior being trashed.

I agree! Jesus hung out with liars, prostatutes, the sick, and thugs, RR makes him look like an intolerant monster! Oh, wait, that's not what you ment was it?

I am so glad God is in control.

What is god in control of exactly?

and lead people to us because they want what we have, YOU.

I've had what you have for a long time. It's called depression, and I don't want anymore of it, thank you very fuking much.

That is just disgusting. Sometimes I wonder why we should even pray for people like that.

Of course, we can't love people who are diffrent from us. That would be something Jesus would do.



1/24/2009 10:49:21 PM

Nowhereman


1/24/2009 10:53:41 PM

Moon Wolfhowl

"I'd rather stay miserable"


There we have it! One finally admits they somehow enjoy being unhappy, sad, vile little creatures!

1/24/2009 11:51:05 PM

WMDKitty

I do believe this is referring to miserable "ex-gays", who are masquerading as straights so assholes like you will accept them. Playing "straight" means nothing, and does not change your orientation or your feelings, and often leads to depression. (Imagine if we had camps like the "ex-gay" camps, designed to turn Christfags into normal people -- they'd be all, "PERSECUTION!!!1!")

EDIT: Leave it to these morons to not get a joke.

1/24/2009 11:59:43 PM

El Zorro

"I might try to get a head start to see if I can meet the rapture half way."

What does this entail? Jumping up and down and hope that Jesus raptures you while you're in the air?

1/25/2009 1:02:24 AM
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