Quote# 57185

witnessed online via myspace PM to at least 8 different people. I sent them all the sinners prayer. They do not know me. I felt moved by the Holy Spirit to do this..
Some of those people are in a secular rock band from Australia who are looking to make it big..

Well..one of the guys in the band actually responded to my PM. He said:

who are you?
and who is jesus, what can he do for me??
will he make me rich?

What do i say now?

TwinklingOfanEye, RR 22 Comments [1/31/2009 5:15:07 AM]
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Submitted By: Wednesday

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You just found some teenagers.

2/1/2009 1:04:23 PM

are you hoping to continue with the conversion or do you want to respond with an equally amusing retort?

2/1/2009 1:30:40 PM


i didn't know that jesus offered material wealth. i may have to reconsider my atheism now.

2/1/2009 1:59:53 PM


What do i say now?

Why don't you see anything wrong with speaking authoritatively to as many people as you can about something you obviously don't know anything about yourself?

2/1/2009 3:55:27 PM


Poe. His name reads TOE when you read the uppercase.

2/1/2009 4:00:08 PM


You *should* say, "I'm sorry to have bothered you with spam. Have a nice life." You won't, though.

2/1/2009 6:31:02 PM

Philbert McAdamia

Refer him to all the televangelists that jesus has made rich.

2/1/2009 8:11:49 PM


One of the most retarded posts ever...thanks for the great laugh. :)

2/2/2009 7:23:18 PM


You know, if this is for real, I bet that guy is just fucking with you.

Trust me, it's what I would do.

2/2/2009 7:38:03 PM


"Sorry to bother you. It won't happen again."

2/2/2009 7:48:06 PM

This seems like a poe; I read it the firs time as "twinkling O'fanny"

2/2/2009 8:50:22 PM

Mr. Creazil

You say "Oh snap" cuz you just got served!

2/2/2009 9:29:11 PM


An apology would be nice. But I doubt you'll comply.

2/2/2009 9:49:44 PM

Apparently they automatically assume that anyone they haven't bumped into while protesting abortion clinics has no religion of their own.

3/5/2009 7:17:24 AM


I'm pretty sure twinklingofaneye is for real, not a Poe.

3/29/2009 2:01:07 AM


I'd suggest something along the lines of "I'm just a dumb fundie, it's mean to pick on me".

3/29/2009 4:44:05 AM

Uncle Steve

Simple. Answer his questions. But do it with all respect and humility. Don't assume questions like that are necessarily meant as ridicule. Non-believers have, to themselves, very good reasons for the attitudes they hold, so show them all respect when you try to challenge their beliefs. Its called apologetics. Witnessing is not a game of one-upmanship. At least, it shouldn't be.

9/23/2013 2:20:18 PM


My suggestion would be to come back to reality and realize that the guy is just fucking with you because there is nobody left in the English-speaking world--and most of the non-English speaking world--who hasn't been exposed to Christianity and Jesus 15 million times already.

9/23/2013 2:36:17 PM

Dr. Shrinker

Oh look, another Rapture Ready groupie publicly announcing what an abysmal witness he/she is. We haven't seen that almost five minutes

9/23/2013 3:04:20 PM


Notice how these utterly dishonest pieces of shit have taken to deleting any and every one of their abysmally and indescribably moronic bits of FAIL to be posted here from their forums?

"Batshit insane and terminally stupid bullshit? What are you talking about everthing we say is ten times more reasonable than those devil-worshiping atheists!"

Lying for Jesus FTW!

3/31/2014 9:52:03 AM

rubber chicken

Say 'YES' and then send him all of your money.

3/31/2014 9:56:13 AM


You need help on who Jesus is and what he can do for you? You're obviously an abysmally poor "witnesser". However, odds are that he (or you) is pulling someone's leg.

3/31/2014 11:48:19 AM

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