God told us everything we need to know in plain English in the KJV Bible. We don’t need to know about the internets to get to Heaven.
43 comments
"God told us everything we need to know in plain English in the KJV Bible. "
No, King James told us in 17th century English, which is neither plain nor everything we need to know.
"God's word" was written in Hebrew, Aramaic and Greek. (Please correct me there, if I'm misremembering. Either way, it was not written in English of any kind.)
Ah the internets... This wonderful series of tubes.
You know that Al Gore invented the internets right?
Uhm, anyway, God, if he ever existed, didn't say any of that in plain English. KJV is not the original. I'm sorry to break the news to you like that, but it's true. The originals are actually in evil, heathen languages; not good, honest English.
Poe, or not, I wonder what ToGodBeTheGlory thinks about King James being a raging, and thoroughly documented, queen?
"Some bronze age Arab goat herders told us everything we need to know, and then a bunch of people hired by King James dug up a couple of manuscripts written 1,000 years later and translated them into Elizabethan English in the KJV Bible."
There. Fixed.
::headdesk::
Except the original was written in Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek, clearly NOT "plain English"; additionally, the KJV is a *really* shitty translation, and it was written by a fucking GAY MAN.
well, since you have so little need for the internet, why not leave it for those evil awful atheists and any other poor benighted fools who are so ignorant and/or lacking in sense as to wish to use it?
"We don’t need to know about the internets to get to Heaven."
Your little friends at RR would disagree, given their persecution complex.
Amaraic, idiot. English did not even exist asa language until the late 12th century, and it's undergonea lot of changes since them.
BTW - King James was homosexual - Queen James would be more correct.
I dunno, I was on the igod yesterday, and god said that if the KJV was right, she'd be very surprised.
Sadly, this individual is NOT a Poe. He's participated in the banning of science-supportive posters at Freak Republic. He is, however, most likely a retread to that site. There are ongoing efforts to determine exactly which Creatard he is, but he IS real.
The KJV is not plain modern-day English, as far as I know.
Too bad God left out so many useful things, like how to turn salt-water into fresh-water, how to cure cancer and AIDS and Ebola and BSE and TBE and the common cold, how to support an infinitely growing population with finite resources, etc.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.