BLOOD & THUNDER PROPHET: ...And the bezan shall be huge and black, and the eyes thereof red with the blood of living creatures, and the whore of Babylon shall ride forth on a three-headed serpent, and throughout the lands, there'll be a great rubbing of parts. Yeeah...
FALSE PROPHET: ...For the demon shall bear a nine-bladed sword. Nine-bladed! Not two or five or seven, but nine, which he will wield on all wretched sinners, sinners just like you, sir, there, and the horns shall be on the head, with which he will...
BORING PROPHET: ...Obadiah, his servants. There shall, in that time, be rumours of things going astray, erm, and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things wi-- with the sort of raffia work base that has an attachment. At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock. Yea, it is written in the book of Cyril that, in that time, shall the third one...
2/9/2009 2:57:31 PM
Can I have your stuff?
2/9/2009 2:58:06 PM
And who makes plans more than 23 months ahead anyway?
2/9/2009 3:00:25 PM
See you in 2011.
2/9/2009 3:04:39 PM
You probably weren't going to graduate from beauty school anyway.
2/9/2009 3:06:00 PM
Yeah, I plan to be drunk by twenty past eight as well
2/9/2009 3:09:39 PM
Good idea. Just take 'er a day at a time.
2/9/2009 3:22:30 PM
That's all well and good (ignoring the fact that the Bible doesn't actually give dates).
but what makes you think you are going anywhere?
2/9/2009 3:27:43 PM
You should be reluctant to make plans beyond 1990 because that was when Jesus was going to return any minute now.
2/9/2009 3:33:55 PM
Isaiah is a well known freak who more than likely was a drug addict. The halluciantions he wrote of tells volumes of his mental/drug problems. And if he wasnt riding the dragon, then he was lying his ass off.
2/9/2009 3:43:38 PM
2/9/2009 3:50:36 PM
2/9/2009 3:50:47 PM
Too late. Gog and Magog are the real names of Itchy and Scratchy. They're already here, in the same sense that anything in your cartoon universe is here. The Rapture happened already. 5 guys from Brooklyn were all that qualified. Get over yourself. Move on.
2/9/2009 3:59:16 PM
There's going to be a lot of these Rapture believing idiots relying on substandard Social Security for their old age pensions if none of them think they need to save for their retirement.
Oh, well. Wal-Mart is going to be set for greeters and cashiers for the next fifty years.
2/9/2009 4:35:00 PM
But are you capable of making plans two weeks ahead?
2/9/2009 4:36:25 PM
Why wait until the last bastion of prophecy is fulfilled? Remove the churches from the Earth now.
2/9/2009 4:38:47 PM
Are you SURE?
See, I can do caps as well.
2/9/2009 5:02:10 PM
According to 1 Thess. 4:17, the Church MUST be removed from the Earth at some time in the first century. Oops.
2/9/2009 5:04:24 PM
I'm envisioning a post-2010 Raptard moaning in the manner of Dante from "Clerks."
"I'm not even supposed to BE here today!"
2/9/2009 5:30:33 PM
@aaa: "See you in 2011."
See you both in 2013. ;)
2/9/2009 6:00:20 PM
Then there's probably no point in learning to spell either. Moron.
2/9/2009 6:23:08 PM
Potentate Argyros of the Gaystapo
How very sad that people would actually plan their lives around something like that, instead of getting out and enjoying this short life to it's fullest. I wonder if Not Perfect will be laying on his death bed one day, with tears of regret for all that he missed out on in this life?
2/9/2009 6:56:31 PM
a mind far far away
Boy, are you in for a surprise. Unless there's a tragic accident or you kill yourself, you'll still be here in 2010, and far beyond that.
2/9/2009 8:02:45 PM
Considering Jesus was supposed to return to earth over 1000 years ago, you might want to make some plans, just in case.
2/9/2009 9:59:28 PM
Jesus is coming
in the lifetime of his followers 1990 2000 2008 2010 or 2012. Though seriously, if he stands me up 20 or 30 more times, I might reconsider.
2/10/2009 1:26:28 AM