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Quote# 58621

Let me tell you a story...well. two actually.


I was in my bedroom one night and I was getting really wound up about something or other. I remember praying about it and hearing a CLEAR voice telling me to read Ecclesiastes 3:1. I did so and found that the passage was telling me exactly what to do in my situation- that there is a time to do everything and that I should not worry.

The second story is when I was away with the worship band and I was in the dorm room praying. All of a sudden I saw the form of a dove. This dove began to talk to me in Hebrew (I understand a little Hebrew) telling me to come to Him and that I should not be afraid to do so.
This dove was so real I could see every little detail of it- the wings, the feathers, the beak.


Explain that!

BernardAlbrecht, Harmony Central 71 Comments [2/14/2009 4:46:23 AM]
Fundie Index: 3
Submitted By:
WTF?! || meh
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#898906
fudgethis

I saw a seagull writing in binary to me... Explain that!

2/14/2009 4:51:15 AM

#898907
Oy Vey!

Lying for Jesus.

2/14/2009 4:52:25 AM

#898911
Fundyon

I saw a flamingo write in Braille

2/14/2009 4:54:27 AM

#898913
Tolpuddle Martyr

Yeah? There’s a crow outside my window talking to me in English. Foul mouthed little bastard too, "Fark, Fark, Fark..."

2/14/2009 4:55:55 AM

#898921
Antichrist

Big deal, dogs talk all the time.



Oh and you might want to get that hearing voices thing checked out. There's medications that will stop that now.

2/14/2009 5:02:23 AM

#898929


"I was in my bedroom one night and I was getting really wound up about something or other."

I know the feeling!


2/14/2009 5:05:22 AM

#898932
Mookie Blaylock

Sounds like schizophrenia. Seek medical attention.

2/14/2009 5:06:20 AM

#898936
zaatheist

Bernard.

That really is a big load of crap you have written. And you know you made it up to impress your fundie friends. You are telling big whoppers for Jesus. Explain that!

Or, naughty, naughty, have you been smoking something illegal?




2/14/2009 5:09:29 AM

#898939
a mind far far away

Let me tell you a story

He left out the parts where he was licking funny stamps right before each of these episodes.

2/14/2009 5:11:20 AM

#898940
Berny

The guy said to stay away from the brown acid, man.

2/14/2009 5:11:49 AM

#898949
PsyDan

"This dove was so real I could see every little detail of it- the wings, the feathers, the beak."

The fact that your hallucinations are so vivid is not good for your prognosis. Seek medical attention immediately.

2/14/2009 5:15:14 AM

#898957
Kitteny

Visual and auditory hallucinations. Sounds like a psychotic disorder.

2/14/2009 5:20:53 AM

#898958
atrasicarius

This isnt suggestive at all...

2/14/2009 5:21:16 AM

#898959
toth

Three letters: LSD.

2/14/2009 5:22:10 AM

#898964
Dark_Lord_Prime

"Explain that!"

Hallucinating for Jeebus proves God is teh REELZ!!

2/14/2009 5:26:37 AM

#898967
WMDKitty

I've had hallucinations that were "so real I could see every little detail" of them. Entheogens FTW!

2/14/2009 5:29:14 AM

#898981


Right now, I hear a clear voice screaming, "BULLSHIT!".

Explain that!

2/14/2009 5:40:36 AM

#898985
enna

When I was 10, God appeared to me as a small hurricane made of diamonds coming out of my ceiling. No, I wasn't on acid, and no, that doesn't prove God exists.

2/14/2009 5:42:23 AM

#898995


Buy better LSD next time. Two bad trips = change dealers.

2/14/2009 5:50:37 AM

#899000
Green

Explain that!

Okay.

YOU'RE INSANE.

2/14/2009 5:51:31 AM

#899021
ThinkingManNeil

"Explain that!"

Two words: delusional psychosis.

Get some help.

N.

2/14/2009 6:02:10 AM

#899030
A Friend

Acid, it's a hell of a drug.

2/14/2009 6:09:27 AM

#899040
Nowhereman

Explain that!

You're insane. Seek medical help immediately.

2/14/2009 6:27:06 AM

#899046


You are insane. That sums it up nicely.

2/14/2009 6:43:37 AM

#899048
ToE the line

How did you know it was a male dove? What happened when you went to "him"?

2/14/2009 6:44:41 AM
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