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Quote# 59038

But again BREAKING: A MESSAGE FROM THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

"Today ..I myself ..the House and Congress in complete agreement have decided to declare a state of martial law...due to the extreme traveling conditions and the desperation of so many ..we are setting 9pm as curfew....at current time I have dispatched our national guard with the assistance of homeland security officials to immediately begin assisting all citizens

As the President speaks...one of his staff brings him and urgent message....The President's becomes ashen (his kids are gone) as he turns back to address the nation..Ladies and Gentleman stand by it seems we are under attack"

Instantly national warning sirens begin to blare....wails and screams are heard ..gun shots ablaze...as numerous people shoot towards others and many shoot themselves"

In a small country farmhouse a man hugs his wife as she sobs for her children....they had always sent their kids to church but never went themselves. They know their children are safe..they know they are with Jesus but they also know whats ahead. The husbands heart begins to fail as his mind torments him of the sermons he had heard forwarning THE TRIBULATION.


[this place is chock full of fundie shenanigans]

sounding the alarm, are they ready for this 48 Comments [2/17/2009 4:38:18 PM]
Fundie Index: 6
Submitted By: senorchipotle
WTF?! || meh
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#903512
Zabimaru

...

They seem to spend an inordinate amount of time coming up with these fantasies. And they always seem very prideful and gloating. I don't think they're going to heaven.

Of course I think that because I don't believe in heaven, but still. Even if their fantasies turn out to be real, I don't think they'd qualify.

2/17/2009 4:41:12 PM

#903515
aaa

Another "Left behind" knock off. You lazy fucks need some creativity.

2/17/2009 4:42:48 PM

#903523
Thammuz

I can hear the masturbation from here, and i live in EUROPE.

2/17/2009 4:46:27 PM

#903532
Will

2/18/09, a hundred thousand people, mostly Americans in the south have disapeared. Although their exit was strange and the roles they fufilled were missed for a while, they were replaced. America became a more progressive country that grows its own prosperty and then helps other countries do the same. Peace is the Middle East is on the horizon. Medicine and other sciences are no longer held back extending the lives and the quality of said lives to unheard of durations. The Rapture has made the world a better place and sane people are glad to be rid of American fundies.

2/17/2009 4:48:55 PM

#903539
LC

Who are these pretend people who send their children to church but don't go themselves?

2/17/2009 4:50:14 PM

#903542
ritom

BuzzardHut started a creative writing RR offshoot?

This should be fantastic

2/17/2009 4:51:44 PM

#903545
Mister Spak

"The husbands heart begins to fail as his mind torments him of the sermons he had heard forwarning THE TRIBULATION. "

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. It was the CHURCH POLICE.

2/17/2009 4:52:25 PM

#903547
Blackvoice

Your fanfiction reads like a summary. A bad one at that. Flesh it out, and for fuck's sake, get a beta!

2/17/2009 4:52:36 PM

#903575
CT

forwarning THE TRIBULATION.

Funny thing is, Revelations speaks of things happening in ways that couldn't possibly happen... Like Lucifer/Satan rebelling against God 7 years AFTER the start of all that crap... which results in him being exiled from Heaven.


Now, I may not be that quick in the mind, but even I know that this rebellion is supposed to have happened at the start of the Bible, not the end.

2/17/2009 5:04:25 PM

#903577


You lost to a black guy..suck it in and move on..your white wasp guy had 8 years to get it right, and what did he do?

2/17/2009 5:06:22 PM

#903579
szaleniec

Is this when all the fundies vanish and nobody notices except a few people who have to wait a bit longer for their McDonald's orders?

On second thoughts, I wholeheartedly apologise to McDonald's for this insinuation. They don't deserve the insult of being associated with fundies.

2/17/2009 5:07:20 PM

#903582


Jesus fiddlin' fuck...Fundie Fan Fiction. I was embarrased for them while reading it.

2/17/2009 5:07:59 PM

#903617


Sick and shameful.

2/17/2009 5:25:41 PM

#903620
David B.

Meanwhile, the entire membership of Rapture Ready declare the disappearances to be a trick of Satan. Because if it were the real rapture they wouldn't still be here, obviously.

All of them are immensely proud of themselves for not being 'taken in', and completely oblivious to the fact that that pride is part of the reason they weren't 'taken up'.

2/17/2009 5:26:04 PM

#903645


"The President becomes ashen"

Well, that isn't going to happen in the next four (hopefully, eight) years, is it?

2/17/2009 5:34:24 PM

#903671
GreenEyedLilo

I think it was a week ago where one of the Rapture Readians was complaining about how awful it is that some women admit to having sex dreams about Obama. I fail to see how those fantasies for Obama are that terrible, especially in light of the disgusting things they fantasize about with him.

And does anyone else notice, no matter how evil they think the Obamas are, they acknowledge that the "anti-family" couple in the White House loves their kids?

2/17/2009 5:42:38 PM

#903691
Lucretius

Whatever happened to all that 'do not add to Scripture' thing that these fundies are supposed to believe in ?
As far as I remember it is even in their favourite bloody book Revelation.

2/17/2009 5:47:14 PM

#903709
Panz

Ironically enough, didn't this happen under Bush around oh...September of '01?

2/17/2009 5:51:40 PM

#903723
Thinking Allowed

*yawn*

2/17/2009 5:55:38 PM

#903736
werewolf

This is so boring. Can't they come up with something new?

2/17/2009 5:58:47 PM

#903757
szaleniec

@GreenEyedLilo: "And does anyone else notice, no matter how evil they think the Obamas are, they acknowledge that the "anti-family" couple in the White House loves their kids?"

That, and the fact that they've been Raptured despite having been brought up by people who haven't and not having had the chance to embrace the path of the True Christian™.

2/17/2009 6:03:28 PM

#903808
Headache

Badly written rapture porn! FTL!

2/17/2009 6:22:28 PM

#903868
Aethernaut

I didn't know that there was a "House" in addition to the one in Congress. And the president would never say "martial law" he would be using the euphemism "state of emergency." Of course, never mind that the whole thing is a sick death cult fantasy.

2/17/2009 6:47:35 PM

#903871
Nothing

These stories are like masturbation to them...

2/17/2009 6:49:30 PM

#903876
Bender Bending Rodriguez

Where does Potentate Argyros fit into all this?

2/17/2009 6:51:12 PM
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