[In response to someone saying, "I don’t get what the big push is about evolution."]
It's delayed adolescent sexual anxiety and maladjustment to conventional morality. The percentage of people who get most hysterical about pushing the atheistic version of Darwinist materialism is about the same as that of those with obsessive-compulsive disorder and those suffering from masturbation anxiety. The facts about this have been suppressed so as not to embarrass left-brained dorks at prestige universities who go in for compulsive obsessions in hard sciences. But it is sexual and masturbation anxiety which drives the emotional hysteria behind this movement to make kids spend hours upon hours studying graphs of imaginary prehistoric hominids and gargantuan ape men. Although it's unclear why this in particular relieves the anxiety.
It would require more research into what brought on the anxiety and when the obsessions, cathexis, and fixation on pictures of large ape men set in.
68 comments
WTF!!!!!!!
Please give me your citation on this and which psychological papers I need to read relating to...
"The percentage of people who get most hysterical about pushing the atheistic version of Darwinist materialism is about the same as that of those with obsessive-compulsive disorder and those suffering from masturbation anxiety"
Poe, for sure, but amazingly funny.
What did the Freepers have to say? Should be some lulz there.
I'm going to call Poe, mostly because masturbation anxiety is what fundies suffer from. Basically it's anxiety over masturbation, I don't know many left-brained dorks that would have much issue with that.
Most atheists already have sexual partners in university, if anything, I'm probably never getting laid, but I'm not an atheist.
What the fuck.
That made no sense.
"...the atheistic version of Darwinist materialism..."
The Theory of Evolution is no more atheistic than Germ Theory or the Theory of Gravity and none of them are founded in "materialism", rather methodological naturalism. It's the same old lies for Jesus repeated over and over.
"But it is sexual and masturbation anxiety which drives the emotional hysteria behind this movement to make kids spend hours upon hours studying graphs of imaginary prehistoric hominids and gargantuan ape men."
Whether or not every single proponent of evolution was an unrepentant, compulsive practitioner of Onanism would be utterly irrelevant to the validity of the ToE. Your refusal to accept plain, incontrovertible facts and solid, irrefutable evidence brings me to the conclusion that it's *you* who is the wanker.
Ah Ha! At last we find the missing link between Christian Creationism and Christian Sexual Repression! I of course, have always liked evolution because of its masturbation potential...
That said, I think its a poe, fundies don't use words like "gargantuan".
Who else thinks this guy masturbates to Alpha Flight comics?
Oh, and Mitch, it's all about attitude. A 250 lb woman belly dancing with the right attitude can be sexier than a Maxim model. They normally treat you better too, but that's a different topic. Give the "I'm sexy no matter what you say" attitude and you become suddenly intriging.
So atheists are all chronically masturbating liberal OCD physicists who are just trying to ease their anxiety?
good god you guys are getting very specific in your nonsensical accusations now.
"HowlinglyMind-BendingAbsurdity" is a really appropriate screen name for you...
O_o. . .
I don't even know where to begin with this one. I study evolutionary theory because it is part of biology. This DOES NOT involve spending "hours upon hours of studying graphs of imaginary prehistoric hominids and gargantuan ape men." Unless of course you're a paleontologist that specializes in that part of the field, and then it's not "graphs" of imaginary hominids, it's actual hominid fossils that can be handled and measured and tested.
I honestly have no idea what all that stuff about "sexual anxiety" has to do with anything.
"blah, blah, blah, i'm trying to sound smart, but I'm a huge tool, blah, blah, blah. Look at my big words, blah, blah, blah."
If not a Poe, and if this hasn't been said...
[Homestar Runner] Uh.....I'm sorry, what? [/Homestar Runner]
Well, this is new. Sexual and masturbation anxiety is the real cause for evolution? WTF is this guy shooting up? I thought putting drain cleaner into a needle and into your arm was a bad thing, and this is why.
yeah, corroborating evidence be damned. Scientific consensus go to hell, people acknowledge the ToE to get their rocks off.
Thanks for clearing that up.
@Chi,
I tend to like healthy women, hence I go for neither overweight or anorexic, if you want skeletons, go to a cemetery.
Most unhealthily overweight women I know are usually pretty antisocial due to poor diets most likely.
The difficulty for me is that usually women go for steroid abusing, car compensating losers. Also I don't have well developed social skills to understand how to get to know people.
I'm not really a loser or anything either, just somewhere in the middle.
Oh, I'm also Australian, so I can't picture 250 lbs.
P.S. Yes, I know, tmi
Yanno, the people who are actually having sex and enjoying it usually don't have all this obsession over sex...especially sex other people are having or not having.
Get a hobby and/or get laid and see if it improves your brainpower and attitude.
So, just to get this straight: Because I believe in the ToE I fap to pictures of monkeys? I don't know what you're huffing, but it's not good for you, mkay?
In no way is the proportion of people who agree with evolution equivalent to those with OCD. Nor is there such a thing as masturbation anxiety. That would be "specific phobia".
Never mind other sciences, he's not really paying attention to psychology. Which is a science. And has never suggested this in any reputable journal.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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