Quote# 59631

[In response to evidence that large wooden ships simply do not work]

What do ships have? A hull. What snapped on the wooden ship? The hull.
Does the ark have a hull? No.
The. Ark. Is. A. Hollow. Rectangular. Prism.

OrangeWIZARD, Games Trailer 116 Comments [2/24/2009 5:33:24 PM]
Fundie Index: 16
Submitted By: WhisperElmwood

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Old Viking

I knew that. Wait. No I didn't.

2/24/2009 8:52:09 PM

Tolpuddle Martyr

Semantic bufoonery won't make the fucker float, Wiz!

2/24/2009 9:04:12 PM


Separating. Words. With. Periods. Makes. Me. Right.

2/24/2009 9:19:10 PM

But if you put all the fluffy animals in a prism, what if the light blinds them? Poor little animals :(

2/24/2009 9:30:53 PM


So, wait. The ark was a big wooden crate? Yeah, that sounds seaworthy...

2/24/2009 9:31:37 PM


Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

My brain hurts.

2/24/2009 9:43:13 PM


Right. In other words; a hull.

2/24/2009 9:49:01 PM


This sounds like a Biblical version of that Jerry Seinfeld routine where he asks why they don't make the entire plane out of the black box.

2/24/2009 9:55:07 PM

Thinking Allowed

2/24/2009 10:11:14 PM

Thinking Allowed

Also, if he's a wizard, he should be stoned to death. After all, that's what the bible says to do with those that practice magic.

2/24/2009 10:16:57 PM


Marine engineering is not Orange Wizard's strong point. I wouldn't even get in to a rowingboat with him.

2/24/2009 10:21:57 PM


Main Entry: hull
Pronunciation: \'h?l\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English hulu; akin to Old High German hala hull, Old English helan to conceal — more at hell

Date: before 12th century
1 a: the outer covering of a fruit or seed b: the persistent calyx or involucre that subtends some fruits (as a strawberry)
2 a: the frame or body of a ship or boat exclusive of masts, yards, sails, and rigging b: the main body of a usually large or heavy craft or vehicle (as an airship or tank)

2/24/2009 10:36:09 PM


The ark must've created the rainbow that noah saw

2/24/2009 11:07:14 PM

Doctor Fishcake

2/24/2009 11:08:14 PM

Pule Thamex

Exactly, the Ark's a large fish-tank ornament. Or a case for huge pencils. Or a massive but somewhat inefficient methane bomb. Or a handy storage container for T-Rex meals. Or a myth nicked from other religions. Or a tongue-lollingly idiotic, jaw-droppingly moronic, droolingly cretinous, and knuckle-scrapingly and slavishly believed fairy tale for simpletons.

Cor! I know it's one of those, but I can't remember which one? I'm a silly billy aren't I.

2/24/2009 11:11:35 PM

I think the genocide of the native peoples of the world due to European expansionism VIA WOODEN BOATS proves your dumbass comment completely wrong. Wooden boats work.

Not at the size the ark is supposed to have been.

2/24/2009 11:16:03 PM


Dammit! surfinseaotter beat me to what I was thinking!

But if the boat was made out of "a rectangular prism" then when the sun came out wouldn't the occupants get fried from the heat?

2/24/2009 11:26:01 PM

Darwin's Lil' Girl

I'm kinda picturing something open on two ends here. That means it'd sink. Of course, if we go with something more tissue-box like and only opened at the top, it wouldn't sail very efficiently. How the hey did you come up with that?

2/24/2009 11:26:26 PM

See?..this is what results if you don't take your meds..

2/24/2009 11:41:19 PM

Chi, member of the gaystapo

Zoloft is your friend.

2/24/2009 11:56:31 PM


Considering the ark was made out of "gopher wood", anything is possible.

Perhaps gopher wood has the structural strength of tungsten-carbide steel and the weight of corkboard. (It would have to be, to keep from snapping in half under its own weight.)

Perhaps gopher wood has tardis-like properties, allowing the interior of any ark built out of it to be larger than the exterior. (It would have to be, if the Fundies insist that 2 of every kind of dinosaur was on board.)

Perhaps gopher wood magically generates a wide variety food and automatically eliminates waste. (It would have to, in order to keep the thousands upon thousands of animal species on board alive for a year.)

2/25/2009 12:32:09 AM


'Gopher wood' is actually the name used by bronze age desert nomads for a goretex/kevlar/plasteel compound.

2/25/2009 12:43:41 AM


It's supposed to float, so it's still a big boat, therefore it is a hull. Hull does not have a definition that includes a specific shape.

2/25/2009 1:25:46 AM


try as you might dude, the hull IS the ship. it can't be absent, you can't deny your way out of this any more than you can say the sky is green.

2/25/2009 1:29:15 AM


Good luck getting your prism to float.

2/25/2009 1:33:52 AM

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