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Quote# 597

[After being asked whether  people who masturbate are True Christians™]

If you were asking me that question I would have to say no your not. If you are a Christian, you are following the will of God. Masturbating or any form of sexual misconduct is not following God's law. If you disagree with me, then perhaps you should look up fornication in the bible.

Kray_zee_K, POD Warrior Forum 16 Comments [9/1/2002 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 3
WTF?! || meh
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#87156
Tommy9898

More proof that god is a prick.

10/3/2006 4:20:06 AM

#153437
Sarcastic-Fox

.... Okay, I will.

Wow, God is a prick. Wait.... let's see what they mean by \"fornification\". Time for internet dictionary.

\"voluntary sexual intercourse between two unmarried persons or two persons not married to each other.\"

Well, guess it means that masterbation is okay. But God is still a prick.

2/4/2007 4:01:38 PM

#153446
Hawker Hurricane

There are two types of men in the world:
Those who admit they masterbate.
And those who lie about it.

2/4/2007 4:09:55 PM

#213790
Illy

98% of men masturbate.

The remaining 2% don't have arms.

4/20/2007 11:40:21 PM

#213793
anti-nonsense

Maybe you should look up fornication in a real dictionary.

4/20/2007 11:46:44 PM

#213794
Esjeur

Well I guess there's no such thing as a male Christian then, as well as a whole bunch of women.

4/20/2007 11:46:57 PM

#213796
Rahab

They can still rub up against furniture, Illy :)

4/20/2007 11:49:34 PM

#214006
Blue Lithium

masturbation isn't fornication! argh!

4/21/2007 10:46:45 AM

#396105
Marlowe

How is looking up fornication supposed to get me off?

2/1/2008 7:16:00 PM

#437931
Grand Archblasphemer of York

God is really concerned with human sex lives...who is the real deviant in all this, hmmm?

3/19/2008 4:05:50 AM

#437938
Caustic Gnostic

That's g0d. He's a dick.

3/19/2008 4:15:21 AM

#437949
Viva

I did look it up, and i concluded that daugthers sleeping with their own father was a rather disqusting thing to do.

3/19/2008 4:30:55 AM

#1207594
sidhe3141

And perhaps you should look up onanism in a dictionary; that's probably what you meant.

9/15/2010 12:53:27 AM

#1207603
Justanotheratheist

There is nothing unnatural about masturbation whatsoever, but seeing as I'm not a Christian I don't have to worry about it anyway.

9/15/2010 1:36:33 AM

#1318297


Fornication means two unmarried people voluntarily having sex....

There is NO mention of masturbation in the bible...at all...anywhere.

Onanism is more about "coitus interuptus"...also known as pulling out. Onan got struck down for not impregnating his recently widowed sister-in-law, as required by tribal law, for one reason or another. He got killed for disobeying his daddy. Spilling his seed was just how he did that.

And on the whole masturbation kick, would you prefer that I masturbate, or fornicate? (I do both liberally, but lets pretend that I care?) Because it is cruel and actually damaging to a person to suppress their sex drive until they are 25 and married.

8/4/2011 2:49:54 AM

#1334559
LordMu

Yes, now look up Bat, Insect and Pi in the Babble.

9/21/2011 12:19:57 PM
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