No.8 in a series of bubblegum dirges for fundie kids.
EVERYTHING'S SATANIC
You wish "Good morning" to your neighbour
You tip your hat to his wife
You ruffle the hair of their little lad
You live a good natured reasonable life.
You scratch your balls with your left hand
You pick your nose with your right
You laugh out loud at a very funny joke
You start when you're given a fright
But I must tell you the chilling news
All these things they are wrong
They all come from the dark side
On this good earth they don't belong
Because
Everything's Satanic
Everything's debauched
Everything is evil
Every tongue is forked.
You grow your own tomatoes
You take a piss sitting down
You whistle when you walk the dog
You have a tartan dressing gown
You have blue ink in your biro
A yellow cup for your tea
You wave your hand to your friend across the road
With your brothers you agree.
But I must tell you the chilling news
All these things they are wrong
They all come from the dark side
On this good earth they don't belong
Because
Everything's Satanic
Everything's debauched
Everything is evil
Every tongue is forked.
Even the leaves blowing in the breeze
Even the fact that there are trees
Even when you say "thanks" and "please"
Even when you say "those" or "these"
Even the sun up in the sky
Even the apples in your pie
Even the way you knot your tie
Even at the end of your life when you die.
You like your eggs cooked so they're sunny-side up
You ride the dodgems at the fair
You like to dip your toes in the sea
You're very thoughtful and you care.
You wear blue socks upon your feet
You have a parting in your hair
You play a flute and you bang a drum
You're so humble and you are fair.
But I must tell you the chilling news
All these things they are wrong
They all come from the dark side
On this good earth they don't belong
Because
Everything's Satanic
Everything's debauched
Everything is evil
Every tongue is forked.
Everything's Satanic
Everything's Satanic
(Repeat to fade)
(Copyright 2009 Pule Thamex)