Junior Scientist Award
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Physicists have been theorizing for decades about the 'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear force,' and so-called 'force of gravity'. And they tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus...
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"so-called 'force of gravity'"? ::snort:: This has got to be one of the dumbest things I've ever read.
Of course, by week's end, I'll have seen something even dumber.
I thought it was God.
Oh, wait, trinity, GOd is Jesus, vice versa, thing. They confuse me.
What attracts people to fundism? The concept that it makes the dumbest smarter than anyone else. A repeating theme from them "Can't be too smart if you don't believe in God" " All the answers are in the Bible'
Think they'd read that thing if they're so smart
I don't believe in fundies. I think they're all poe's (poeses? poesi?). No one can possibly believe any of those god stories. I mean, seriously...have you ever seen a catholic mass? You cannot tell me that anyone, not even (especially) the pedophile priest, believes any of that. Deep down in their hearts, each and every person professing some belief in a sky daddy, knows that it's not real. They're just too afraid to say it out loud.
Please someone enlighten me; fundies do not believe in gravity?
You can e-mail me at clcrapja@gmail.com, with your responses.
Thank you.
@jroyals
Well, gravity is only a theory...
So is evolution.
The thinking (which is to vastly overstate the process) seems to go that if you challenge the theory of evolution, then anything else where there is a theory rather than laws is suspect.
"Amanda
So you don't believe in gravity? What do you thinking is holding you on the ground? Love? "
Why it's obvious, it's the FSM's noodly appendages. RAmen
Jesus = gravity now?
Wat.
I don't believe in fundies. I think they're all poe's (poeses? poesi?). No one can possibly believe any of those god stories. I mean, seriously...have you ever seen a catholic mass? You cannot tell me that anyone, not even (especially) the pedophile priest, believes any of that. Deep down in their hearts, each and every person professing some belief in a sky daddy, knows that it's not real. They're just too afraid to say it out loud.
this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus...
Well, that settles that, then, no need to look further, answers it all for me.
Paradigm. Hmm, ooh ooh, I know = 20¢
There is a Chick tract, "Big Daddy", which says exactly that, that nuclear forces are a product of Jesus, so the post isn't that much of a Poe.
Either way, the dumbness...
I declare Poe on this one since I read that in an onion article. -- God Is Real Etc.
Actually, I have heard this before. Some Fundies claim that a certain verse in Colossians (can't remember which one) implies that Jesus is the force keeping all matter in the universe together. The concept may have appeared in an Onion article, but there are Fundies who do believe this.
EvoPagan wrote:
"There's a quote on the old site (FSTDT.com) that says there's no such thing as gravity, just the effects of sin weighing us and everything else down." Then, logically, there wouldn't have been any gravity before the Original Sin in the garden of Eden.
Never mind Adam and Eve, and all the animals, floating around in zero gee -- it must've been tough to keep the "waters below" so that they stayed below!
I think pseudo-scientists would be kicking your ass right now. I can hear people believing in orgone energy cussing you out. This is just fucking crazy. So jesus wasn't a real person, he was just a collection of physical forces? That really fucks up your whole theology, doesn't it? Oh, by the way, physics doesn't work that way.
And lo, Jesus gave unto his follower, Gordon Freeman, the gravity gun and he did say, "You can call it a zero point energy manipulator if you really want to."
How exactly does the math work out with Jesus as every force?
Why is Jesus orders of magnitude more powerful when working on small scales than on large ones?
How does Jesus account for the cosmological constant?
Are you even sure you understand the scientific meaning of the word "force"?
But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus...
Please excuse me while I point and laugh at you.
FEH, YOUR SO-CALLED "GRAVITY"!
Except it's been, y'know, proven. Einstein's general relativity determines exactly how gravity works, although Newton's findings work well enough for most things (Newton was wrong, but he was close enough for government work).
These forces may or may not be united, but uh...
READERS OF THE BIBLE MILLENNIA AGO DIDN'T HAVE A FUCKING CLUE ABOUT ANY OF THESE FORCES THAT HAVE NOW BEEN PROVEN TO EXIST.
Anachronisms much?
Gunderscored: I can tell you from experience, there is such think as a fundy since I used to be one, with my retarded arguments against evolution and the big band and such. It wasn't until I read a book on astronomy that I realized how stupid I was being. These people aren't stupid, they're just willfully ignorant, which I think is the worst kind of ignorance.
P.S. I think this guys a poe though, I doubt most fundies have never even heard of the strong and weak forces, although if he is a real fundy, he probably read hyperspace once and now deems himself an expert in physics.
Goddidit applies to gravity too, now? So the love of Jesus is keeping me in my chair?
Jesus really needs to cut it out. I'm already spoken for!
This guy is an idiot!
Please do not reproduce
"Physicists have been theorizing for decades about the 'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear force,' and so-called 'force of gravity'. And they tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus..."
And once the LHC does what it was built for, and it's findings tied in with Prof. Stephen Hawking's Unified Field Theory equations, your theory (as well as Creationism as a whole, and therefore your beliefs) is fucked.
Kudos to everyone at CERN, home of the LHC, what I call the God Killer.
No. I think that the unified force is more properly called Azathoth. But, whatever, you can label things inappropriately in order to feel as if your religion has undue levels of credibility at your leisure.
In a sense, you could call the underlying force, if there is indeed one, somewhat of a deity. (It would be pointless to pray to such a power, as it would be a natural phenomenon lacking any personality which many religions claim their God possess.) However, Jesus was only born around 2,000 years ago, so he could not have had an influence in the formation of the universe or even earth.
And once the LHC does what it's designed to do, said forces will be discovered along with the Higgs-Boson particle. Then, as Darwinius masillae has destroyed the biological aspects of Genesis, the LHC will destroy the cosmological aspects of the same fairy story.
And I emphasise fairy story . At least science has (and will have) the evidence for what it claims. Where is even one single shred of physical evidence for Jesus' existence, apart from (at best) apocryphal stories in the aforementioned fairy tale? (which also has no physical evidence to back up it's claims).
Evidence. We have it. We win. All you have is a book, Paradigm. Once said Higgs-Boson is found, you're going to need a paradigm shift in your thinking. As will everyone else on Ruptured Retards. And your God will have to do a 27 Km Goatse, as he's royally raped by said LHC. Lube up, God!
tl;dr: Atheists 1. Fundies 0. (Half time)
Wow, not only does this overwrite all of Einstein's work, it also disproves those silly bumper stickers saying 'Gravity is a Theory'
Oh, and the Roman empire B.C.E was floating around in space 'till little Jesus was born.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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