"Action: Stand straight up and pretend you are going for it in worship..."
I didn't say, "Simon says", so you're a loser already!
"... and extend your arms in the air to God. Is this exposing a lot of belly?"
Is the belly in need of a shave?
Is it so large that it has a horizontal crease where the belly-button should be?
Is the preacher staring in such a way that you suspect he wants to fap?
Do you have any piercings or tattoos?
Do you buy clothes made of stretch fabric at Wal-Mart?
If you answered in the affirmative to any of the above questions, it is not appropriate to show your belly in church.
"Bellies are very intoxicating, and we need to save that for our husband!"
This is a misunderstanding of the rules of cause and effect. Intoxicants like beer cause large bellies. Chances are, your future husband will have one.