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Quote# 60847

Leviathon is a spirit I have battled as well. It was a hard battle but was won. It was about four months or more ago. My wife and I were in McDonalds and were having a conversation with an angel and Leviathon had come up. I told the angel that i wanted to fight this demon and he said I could. On the way back to the hotel I asked the angel if he could bring the demon to a predestinated place and he said yes. I figured that since Leviathon was from the depths of the sea he would be used to the cold water so I filled the tub up with scalding hot water and blessed the water. The angels (there were two now) brought Leviathon bound to the tub and fought with me. We all pulled our swords from our hips and began running this demon through with all my strength and everything I had. I would say it took atleast half an hour or more. We were all spent but the battle was won.

nautical999, Ministering Deliverance 546 Comments [3/24/2009 9:03:36 PM]
Fundie Index: 599
Submitted By: Comassion
WTF?! || meh
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#928335
K T

This is what happens when children take their video games seriously.

3/24/2009 11:44:58 PM

#928340
Geno

I doubt you battled such a famous spirit considering you can't even spell it correctly. It's "LEVIATHAN", not "Leviathon"! And how can you call it a battle when you bound it to something so small as a bathtub and just ran it through with divine help? That's pretty damn one-sided.

This whole thing smacks of fiction so bad it makes Twilight or something by Squirrelking look good...

3/24/2009 11:58:41 PM

#928350
aaa

What the fuck.

3/25/2009 12:19:15 AM

#928354
The Amazing Liarbird

Thank goodness it was only a leviathon... if it had been Leviathan, you would have been fucked for sure, even the bible says so.

I predict he fights a "behemath" next. And then the police arrive.

3/25/2009 12:47:06 AM

#928355
The Amazing Liarbird

You know, assuming he's not (consciously) making the whole thing up.

3/25/2009 12:48:25 AM

#928356
enna

In this day and age, there is just no excuse for this kind of batshit fuckery.

Someone call the white van.

3/25/2009 12:53:19 AM

#928358
E!leven

Damn. Can I have the number of the guy you bought those shrooms from?

3/25/2009 1:00:49 AM

#928359
ChrisInManc

Have any of these people ever actually lost a 'battle' (other than with their own faculties)???

3/25/2009 1:14:45 AM

#928361
atheist crusader

Fuck me that must have been some seriously strong crack you where smokin fella, here let me give you amy winehouse's number. she wants to buy some off you!!

nautical999, by day innocent eater at maccy d's by night DEMON SLAYER extrodionaire

3/25/2009 1:52:22 AM

#928362
Xotan

Either lying for Jesus, or very interesting sex games you play!

3/25/2009 2:00:39 AM

#928363
Thammuz

I seriously don't know what to think of this, the options remain 3 and all juast as likely as the next one:

1) He's lying knowingly
2) He's completely batshit
3) He and his wife are LSD abusers

3/25/2009 2:02:35 AM

#928365
Thammuz

Side note: "DEMON SLAYER extrodionaire " would be an awesome title for a manga comicbook or something like that

3/25/2009 2:08:55 AM

#928369
LDM

I guess "I had a happy meal, then went home and played with my toys in the bathtub" just sounded to boring.

3/25/2009 2:28:50 AM

#928372
Miles

You are totally out of your fucking mind.

3/25/2009 2:34:24 AM

#928394
The Lazy One

Wait- you talk to angels in McDonald's? Do angels like McDonald's?

3/25/2009 3:24:55 AM

#928396


??????????

3/25/2009 3:25:49 AM

#928406
Athar

So in other words. You ate McDonalds and got food poisoning? Then you went back to the hotel and ran a bath of hot water, and lay there for half an hour?

3/25/2009 4:04:33 AM

#928411
Dyz

Stay away from the magic mushrooms

3/25/2009 4:11:29 AM

#928412
anevilmeme

The correct use of grammar, sentence structure and punctuation points towards an excellent Poe.

3/25/2009 4:14:03 AM

#928414
Ayersy

Someones a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

3/25/2009 4:22:10 AM

#928424
Mister Spak

NExt up: Pazuzu vs. a vacuum cleaner.

3/25/2009 4:46:55 AM

#928428
Nowonmai

Someone has been playing FINAL FANTASY too many times.

3/25/2009 4:52:13 AM

#928432


I coulda swore this was an episode of CW's "Supernatural".

3/25/2009 4:57:17 AM

#928436


Note the genius farther into the thread who thinks this demon causes AD/HD and deafness.

3/25/2009 5:05:32 AM

#928437


You were at MCDONALD'S having a conversation with an ANGEL, when a DEMON showed up?

Must've been some good-ass weed.

3/25/2009 5:06:03 AM
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