Ludd

I believe this story is true if:
"Sword" is a metaphor for penis
and
"angels" and "Leviathon" are metaphors for transients you met while drunk in McDonalds.

9/4/2009 2:56:07 PM

dg

#1 - it's spelled "Leviathan".
#2 - it's a crocodile, not a spirit.

9/4/2009 9:59:04 PM

nautical999

Luxmelon this is not a challenge you are ready for, and obviously reverend Jeremiah wasn't ready either. However there is a dream that you keep having and i can help you through it if you would like. let me know.

As far as my writing and punctuations and all the right ways to write? Who cares? God uses my weaknesses as well as my strengths.

9/5/2009 9:08:16 PM

@bkb
Now THAT's a good Fanfic.

9/7/2009 12:26:46 PM

what is a fanfic anyways

9/7/2009 3:40:39 PM

Saxmachine

Holy shit.

At best, this is an Oblivion fanfic.

9/8/2009 2:14:30 AM

nautical999

I didn't think there would be any takers here. Since there isn't i will take it as this site is just a trash talking site. For those of you who read this site and are wondering if there is some validity in what we say at ministeringdeliverance.com, or if you or someone you know are experiencing some bad stuff feel free to email me at captainsplumbing@yahoo.com or visit our site. there are many there who want to help.
i will leave this contact up as long as there isn't any abuse.

9/9/2009 7:38:05 AM

vana

Nautical, you're lying again. Someone was a "taker" and wanted to do your little B.S. survey thing. Hell, I would have offered to take it myself except that you specifically didn't want anyone else to do so. Why don't you take on your takers, instead of lying and saying there weren't any?

I will say I did get a little laugh out of your "captainsplumbing@yahoo.com" e-mail address. It fits because you are, most definitely, full of it.

9/9/2009 8:02:57 AM

WMDKitty

Trippin on acid for Jesus?

That's... interesting.

9/10/2009 4:21:35 AM

nautical999

actually vana i own a plumbing company as well as doing ministry. God has blessed me immensely. As far as taking all takers. That would work here if only a few would be involved. If we can get all the crud to stop from being posted on here and i can focus on those who are willing then yes we can do it that way. There are some people however that God will lead me to not minister to on open site because it would be harmful for them in this manner. However Those i work with will need to be totally honest and and i do not want any outside badgering of myself or anyone else or this will stop. I would like to start with maybe someone who is well known here who has posted A LOT of anti Christian things here. Vana you are welcome as well and others i will vet out to see what God wants done.

I only ask that when dealing with you and you get a positive outcome showing the power of Jesus Christ then you express your experience for all to read. You can do it without details and even posted anonymously but others need to know that God is Mighty.

I'm sure there are about 50 grammatical errors so there is no need to point this out. We all know. Find something else to say

9/10/2009 5:48:28 AM

"actually vana i own a plumbing company as well as doing ministry"

So you basically only deal with shit?

9/10/2009 9:59:28 AM

nautical999

i didn't mean that something else. lol

9/10/2009 8:09:05 PM

vana

So, what exactly did God say you should do? Have I posted enough supposedly anti-Christian things to take your little quiz or not?

9/10/2009 9:30:14 PM

luxmelon

EvoPagan-
Yeah it made me giggle >.> I stopped laughing when I had to clean wax out of the carpet though. Needless to say the ritual was a complete bust.

And for the nautical guy: I think I am quite ready. Prove me wrong. And it's funny you mention the dream thing...because I've been concerned about my LACK of symbolic dreams as of late. You're...wrong.

9/11/2009 12:56:08 AM

All hail nautical999! Soldier of the Christ, Slayer of demons! HOORAY

seriously, what was he smoking?

9/11/2009 4:25:32 AM

nautical999

Vana what in your life has been traumatic? such as rejection, abandonment, abuse, rape, etc... Also is there any family diseases past down through generations. are there any family traits like mental illness or hatred or anger? any homosexuality or blatant sinful acts in more than one family member?


What are the signs of having a demon?
Not sure what to think of the deliverance ministry?
Please take a moment to read
What the ministry of deliverance should be!

Here is a brief list of some of the areas in a persons life that a demon can affect. Please note that every time you find somebody struggling or facing one of the areas below, it's not necessarily a demon, but it's not uncommon to find a demon behind these things.

Compulsive sinning against your will: Addictions, uncontrollable anger, lust, urges to murder or commit suicide, etc.

Mental torment: Fear, depression, irrational heaviness in the soul, hearing voices in the mind, hearing audible voices that nobody else hears, compulsive thoughts, insanity, mental illness, etc. Obsessive irrational worry is almost always a demon. People who are scared stiff over the unpardonable sin are in need of counseling and likely deliverance.

Emotional problems: Unable to get close to other people, sensing rejection for no reason, irrational emotional breakdowns, etc. Often more then just casting out demons is needed in this category, inner healing must also take place as well as tearing down strongholds.

Physical health problems: Arthritis, cancer, HIV, and a host of other illnesses are almost always caused by evil spirits. If it cannot be easily cured, then it's almost always a spirit that is causing it.

Occult powers or abilities: Anybody who can tell a fortune, lift an object through levitation, break a solid oak board with their hand, etc. using demonic powers needs a deliverance. Martial arts are known for using demonic powers to break boards, etc. Unnatural strength is a sign of demonic power, such as the man with the legion in the Bible.

Unnatural desires and feelings: Sexual attraction towards animals, unnatural sexual desires, unusually strong attractions towards somebody who is married, past lover, etc. can indicate soul ties and demonic bondage.

Experiencing the demonic: Most often (not always, but usually) when people are visited by demons, hearing them, seeing them, etc., they are in need of a deliverance.

Ancestors have similar problems: If both you and one or more of your ancestors have the same kind of problem(s), then there may be a generational spirit at work.

Obsessions: Driving interests in the occult, demons, and creatures of the dark such as wolves, owls, etc. can indicate a demonic bondage. Obsession with death is almost a sure sign of demonic bondage.

Compulsive behavior: Compulsive behavior such as cutting is a Biblical symptom of demonic bondage.

9/11/2009 7:52:44 AM

dan

Dude those are all just the crappy parts of life. I guess any way you cope is fine, but playing the blamegame with phantoms seems like it doesnt help you accept much.

9/11/2009 9:52:28 AM

vana

Awesome. Sorry to disappoint, but there's been little trauma in my life. The only rejection came when I rejected my Christian upbringing for something that actually made sense to me (atheism)

I wouldn't call homosexuality a disease, but it does definitely run in the family (funny how that works, huh?) I'm a lesbian, my brother is gay, my grandmother is a lesbian (after having 8 kids, who can blame her?), and I have at least two cousins who are probably bisexual.

Thing is, if I were to believe in demons (which I don't) I'd assume they would want actually, you know, cause people harm. Homosexuality doesn't cause people harm. Yes, there are negative aspects of it in today's cultural (high rates of drug use and suicide to start with) but those are symptoms of the discrimination and hatred mainstream society has (and still does) used against homosexuals, not inherent to homosexuality itself.

My grandmother is happy, not afflicted by any demons. I'm happy. My brother's not exactly happy but that's just the way he is and would be the same if he were gay or straight.

"Arthritis, cancer, HIV, and a host of other illnesses are almost always caused by evil spirits. If it cannot be easily cured, then it's almost always a spirit that is causing it."

Actually, you're wrong. These are caused by, 1) an immune system gone haywire, 2) abnormal cell growth, and 3) a virus.

A couple of my family members are some of the kindest, most righteous, best Christians I've ever met. Unlike some, who use their religion to impose their backdated beliefs and hatred onto others, they are true Christians who live by the teachings and words of Jesus. They've had cancer and arthritis, heart attacks, strokes, and organ failure. These people, even if demons existed, would not have been afflicted by them. So I can assure you that you're only showing your ignorance with that paragraph.

"Martial arts are known for using demonic powers to break boards, etc."

No, they're known for using their focus, their conditioned and honed strength and skills, and a knowledge of the weak points of objects to do awesome-looking stunts.

9/11/2009 10:40:42 AM

nautical999

Vana this is where it will either make you or break you. And this is the time to step out or keep going but if you keep going then you need to stay with it.

Do not read passed this if your decision is to stop




In the name of Jesus the demon behind the homosexuality in this family and/or this woman you are bound with the threefold cord of ecclisiates, You are stripped of all armour and all defenses. You are cut off from all power in and out of the body. You are commanded in the name of Jesus Christ to reveal yourself to this woman in your fullness.
And you are commanded to tell her the truth about you and your legal rights. Further more you are commanded in the name of Jesus Christ to tell her the truth about anything else the Holy Spirit has commanded you to speak.
Father God i now ask you to place angels around this demon and all others and protect Vana from for a time long enough for her to make up her mind if she will follow you or the demons she has in her. In Jesus name i pray amen.
Vana if you have made it this far and all that i have said here has come to pass then you need to choose now. Torment will follow but they can be cast out. You know Jesus and you know He can help all you have to do is ask him into your heart.
Also you need to forgive the Christian that has hurt you or caused you to turn from God. Let me know how everything turns out


Everybody else with rude comments and nonproductive crud to speak have some respect for yourself. You only make yourself look bad. If you dispute anything said for now keep it to yourself and stay out of this there will be time later for questions and comments

9/11/2009 11:35:34 AM

An online exorcism? That's grand.

9/11/2009 12:25:31 PM

vana

Nautical, I hate to break it to you but nothing happened. I read what you wrote, in full. I even read it in good faith, ignoring my urge to scoff at the logic of homosexuality being caused by a demon. I read it with a willing suspension of disbelief. Nothing happened.

There is absolutely nothing inside me that "makes" me gay, it is simply (a small part of) what I am. There is nothing inside me or in my life that causes me torment about this. I do not experience fear or doubt about who I love. I feel nothing but peace for who I am. Most of all, even if I were to become a Christian and accept Jesus into my heart- I'd still be homosexual and I'd still feel the exact same sense of peace I do right now. Nothing would change.

Also, as a side note, there was no Christian who hurt me. The reason I stopped believing in the Christian God was because I actually took the time to read the Bible. I refuse to respect or believe in the God of the Bible, who commands the killing of innocent children and rape of women, among other horrible things, because that God deserves neither my respect or belief. I researched other religions but found that none of them made any more sense than the beliefs I had abandoned. So I decided that, if I was going to believe in anything as far as the spiritual is concerned, I’d have to experience it personally. I never have, so I don’t believe.

9/11/2009 1:06:08 PM

dan

it doesnt work online, nautical needs to thrust the gay out of you, penetrating the demon's heart with his 'sword'.

and i guarantee its nowhere near a 'half an hour or more' before the 'battle is won' and he's 'spent'

meet him at taco bell in an hour

9/11/2009 1:22:53 PM

Anon-e-moose

"Leviathon is a spirit I have battled as well"

So have I:



But I had my trusty Lament Configuration:



And with just a few twists & turns, I had that troublesome Lord of the Order of the Gash under my thumb:



Which I now keep as a pet. It whines sometimes, like the little pussywhipped bitch it is, but you've gotta make sacrifices when you prove yourself superior to gods like I do sometimes. Incidentally, NaughtyGirl999, do you know I'm superior to your God? As I shall demonstrate:



Satan is St. Francis of Assisi by comparison I'm sure you'll agree. Your 'God' is like Hitler, frankly. As for yours truly, I've never killed anyone in my life. Nor do I want to. Ever. Therefore I'm (certainly morally) superior to God. Also, there's one thing I can do that your 'God' can't:

Exist.

Ergo, I'm superior to God. QED.

;)

9/11/2009 1:50:17 PM

nautical999

anon e moose and dan do you think that this dribble sounds educated? You are just taking up space on here that is it. Please excuse yourselves from this thread

9/11/2009 2:39:19 PM

vana

*chokes* Gee, thanks dan. Now I will never be able to set foot in a Taco Bell again without projectilely vomiting. My love of Nachos Bellgrande will see you. Tonight. In your nightmares.

9/11/2009 2:43:36 PM