...I don't "SMACK" my kids... I spanked them. I used a belt, or a paddle. You use terms like "abuse"... "smack" ... to make it sound like abuse when it is and was not. I didn't just hit my kids or whale on them at a whim... We talked to them, we explained to them why we believed what we believed, our responsibility to God as their parent, how serious we took that role and then we spanked them for deliberate disobedience...
Why DO YOU try to make those who consider spanking... "NOT SMACKING" or "BEATING" or Abusing suitable for training a child in the way he should go.... appear as abusers? Is it to excuse your lazy attitude towards your own responsibility in raising your own children? Don't accuse me of smacking my child again... or abuse.
...
PS.... I would use a switch also if I did not have a belt or a paddle, I'm not hurting my hand trying to spank the bottom of a disobedient child by hitting his jeans...
62 comments
Dear kensington,
Fuck you.
Signed
Humanity
You know, I spank my children too. Bare hand through the clothes on the butt, when they do something dangerous, such as running towards the road, playing with electrical cords, or reaching for the stove after I've told them no, and the danger of the situation calls for immediate and strict action. Beating your children with an object other than your hand simply because you might hurt your hand on their bodies is sickening. Beating your child for basic disobedience is overkill.
Please just go and die in a fire now. Seriously. You hit your kid with objects because you don't want to hurt your hand? Where I come from we call people like that scum. In fact, that's an insult to scum.
I hope CPS gets called on you.
I'm always reminded of this little thing told by the late Astrid Lindgren:
""Above all, I believe that there should never be any violence." In 1978, Astrid Lindgren received the German Book Trade Peace Prize for her literary contributions. In acceptance, she told the following story.
"When I was about 20 years old, I met an old pastor's wife who told me that when she was young and had her first child, she didn't believe in striking children, although spanking kids with a switch pulled from a tree was standard punishment at the time. But one day when her son was four or five, he did something that she felt warranted a spanking - the first of his life. And she told him that he would have to go outside and find a switch for her to hit him with. The boy was gone a long time. And when he came back in, he was crying. He said to her, "Mama, I couldn't find a switch, but here's a rock that you can throw at me."
All of a sudden the mother understood how the situation felt from the child's point of view: that if my mother wants to hurt me, then it makes no difference what she does it with; she might as well do it with a stone. And the mother took the boy onto her lap and they both cried. Then she laid the rock on a shelf in the kitchen to remind herself forever: never violence. And that is something I think everyone should keep in mind. Because violence begins in the nursery - one can raise children into violence."
I don't know about belts or switches, but seriously - most of my friends agree, we all were giving one (or two for those thick headed ones) really good whoopings when we were a kid and it either taught us to behave or be more careful about being caught. Either way, we were not the selfish brats that run around today feeling "entitled" to everything.
My one friend's wife doesn't believe in any sort of punishment... guess who's kid bites, hits, steals stuff, throws a tantrum anywhere and anytime? Oh, and the kid is going to be a teenager this year - been doing all the above, all her life so far. Needless to say, don't spend much time with them like I did before she was around!
"Why DO YOU try to make those who consider spanking... "NOT SMACKING" or "BEATING" or Abusing suitable for training a child in the way he should go.... appear as abusers? Is it to excuse your lazy attitude towards your own responsibility in raising your own children?"
Because it is abuse? And what's "lazy" is what you're doing, instead of making time for your children, teaching them correct behavior before it gets to the point where spanking is needed, and keeping them occupied and distracted from mischief opportunities takes much more effort than smacking them because they're cutting into you're bible-thumping time.
And hitting your child with an object does constitute child abuse.
Well, you know, you go ahead and make things as comfortable and easy for *yourself* as possible. Everyone knows that's the most important rule of parenting, right?
I'm certain this waste of carbon's kids will be making things very painful and uncomfortable for him/her in short order.
Listen, I have no problem with a spank on the butt with your hand, but if you're hurting your hand and have to get a switch, THAT'S ABUSE. I had to go pick out my own switches as a child. Better hope your kid doesn't grow up and decide to stick one up your ass and see if it takes root.
It is never a case of beating, smacking, or abusing a child when a Christian does it.
I hope one day that your children take baseball bats to your empty head.
@ EvoPagan
I also had to pick my switches. One time I was about 3, maybe 4 and the one I brought back was "too small", so I had to go back and readjust my sentence. I found a whole branch that had fallen off a tree and dragged the entire thing in. (Look, Mommy, here's a whole damned storeroom of justice for you to pick from and I won't have to waste time searching throughout all the forest for the perfect one.) In the process I got tar all over my clothes and ruined them. Haha, if only I could have appreciated then the dilemna that was for Mom. She felt so guilty.
But I have to wonder just how bad was I expecting to be? If she'd only known, she'd have said "That little thing, you call that a switch? Go back and bring me a chain saw!"
You'd better be careful, fuckface; those kids will be bigger and stronger than you one day, and they may even be deciding your financial affairs.
If you sow the wind, you'll reap the whirlwind.
Hitting your child with a belt or paddle is what lazy parents do. Hit and hurt the child, beat them into submission, make them afraid.
Yeah, parent of the year award will definitely pass you by.
I'll never forget the look of sadistic pleasure on my mothers face when she beat me, pulled my hair, stuffed soap in my mouth, broke my bedroom door, called my dad in to kick the crap out of me, and so on. I got to see it again when she punched me during an argument a few months ago. She comes up with some real fun "religious" excuses too, like this fine Christian woman, but she mostly likes to call you crazy for suggesting such a thing happened and then deny all knowledge of the beatings.
Her parents beat her with belts until her back was raw. She just used her hands so she wasn't as bad, get it? Since they all relished it I'd say it's all the same. A disgusting behavior passed down through the family.
Yeah, I resent both of my folks. They're nothing short of perverts.
"I used a belt, or a paddle"
Accoridng to most nations, this is abuse. In Canada, spanking is allowed as long as it is one of two strikes of an open hand, on an extremity like hand or buttocks. No tiems allowed.
So please, come on up to my lovely nation and smack your kick with a belt. I dare you, you sick perverted fuck.
You say tomAYto,
You say potAYto,
Let's call the whole thing off?
@Zabimaru
Wow. That was a powerful passage. It prompted me to do some serious thinking and has actually changed my mind on the issue. I've been reflecting on it and related writings and studies I found on the internet for the past five or six hours.
I've always been a somewhat peaceful and non-violent person (it may have helped that I had great parents and was never beaten), but I've also always been strongly supportive of personal rights and freedoms. While I hoped I'd never have to, I firmly believed that striking a child was acceptable as a very last resort in a situation that requires an immediate and absolute deterrent. I now see that such an attitude reeks of ignorance and incompetence and instills fear, anger, and tendencies for future violence in the child.
I just wanted to thank you for posting it, as I sincerely believe it has made me a better person and may one day help any children I raise to be better as well.
Also, fuck you, kensington. YOU are the lazy one. If you were doing a half decent job as a parent, you wouldn't NEED to terrorize your children in the first place. They would probably start to show some respect if you would stop acting like a delusional, irrational psychopath. Ending your cult's brainwashing regimen would be a good start.
Dear kensington, I think you'll find you cause more pain by removing the clothing and torturing the bare buttocks. Your instruments of excruciation may be improved by adding steel bits to the striking portions. Ideally, use a cat-o-nine-tails, the agony is far more enduring. If possible always keep a salt shaker within easy reach in case of lesions.
You're right to avoid hurting your hands. The best method is to wear leather gloves if you want to use your hands directly. I'm all in favour of comfort when administrating punitive torture.
Some people advocate the use of a long whip, and I agree, this is because you can loll back in the comfort of your own easy chair and, with practice, you'll find that just a flick of your wrist can crack that whip with extreme accuracy on to the object of your choice. Perfect for those days when you're feeling tired and worn out.
PS. Have you considered thumb screws.
Learn your synonyms.
Yes, spanking is referred to a strike along the butt, but you can also call that a smack on the butt.
My parents spanked me a few times as a child-- and by spanked, I mean they swatted my butt in a way that wasn't even painful-- but I remember being much, much more upset that they were mad/upset/frustrated than with the spanking. My friends whose parents actually hit them when they spanked were violent, unruly, and hard to handle without violence.
BTW, if it's hurting your hand to do it, it IS abuse. It isn't different because it's their butt, it's different because most people who spank their kids don't actually hurt them.
Any assault upon a child -- spanking, smacking, beating, it's all the same -- is ABUSE. ESPECIALLY when you start using things like belts, paddles, or switches.
Plz, someone call CPS (or whatever the local equivalent is) on these people!
I don't get why people think it's ok to beat kids. Most people think it's unacceptable to go up to an adult and hit them, so why is it ok to do it to children?
It's also a lazy-ass way of parenting. It takes much more time and effort to talk to kids and discuss problems when they act out than to terrify them into submission. It teaches kids that violence is ok, and they end up fearing and hating the parent rather than respecting them.
Abusive asshole. I don't get these people. Abortion is teh evilz, but it's ok to beat the hell out of your born kids.
I work for a barrister, she just had a client who was a religious nut and was being charged with abuse for hitting his children with a switch.
My boss didn't end up defending him as he decided that because she was breastfeeding, she would be mentally unstable. This coming from a man who truly believes he is Jesus Christ
He was found guilty and is now going to jail
So yes, it is a crime, it is abuse and you need to stop. Seriously, isn't your God meant to be all loving and shit? honestly
'Is it to excuse your lazy attitude towards your own responsibility in raising your own children?'
Sounds like this applies to fundies more than others. Spanking is the lazy way out.
'I spanked them. I used a belt, or a paddle.'
In my country (Canada) you WOULD - and SHOULD - be charged with child abuse. It is illegal to use ANY implement (belt, rod, cord, paddle, etc) in spanking.
'I would use a switch also if I did not have a belt or a paddle'
You are a sociopath - a big, tough, slimeball who thinks only of himself & gets his amusement from hurting others. May you rot in HELL with Satan flogging your ass with your favorite belt/switch/paddle, fucktard!
Actually, this one is not too fundie. My parents did this when I was a kid, and it certainly didn't do me any harm--unless you consider a BDSM fetish "harmful."
The important thing is, as they pointed out, that spanking cannot be a first resort. You need to talk things out with your kid, explain why something is wrong, then if they continue to disobey, spank. Not hard enough to do permanent damage or even leave a mark. Just enough to make the kid's bottom sting for an hour or so.
If the kid's wearing jeans then, yes, a belt (NOT the buckle end!) or switch is necessary just for them to feel anything (plus, denim hurts your hand). But then you have to watch your aim, because if you miss the buttocks it hurts like crazy, and I can say from experience that it does in fact leave a mark on your thighs for a few days.
Fundie Thesaurus Project:
File "children" under "property".
(That story about the little boy bringing his mother a stone was so sad and touching...)
@#930151:
What evil parents. I hope you never let your children near them or they will do the SAME thing to them - guaranteed!
I once knew someone at work who stated that when she & her husband had kids, they would not allow her father around the children without either herself or her husband present. Why? Because her dad was a fundy Christian, who said he would not consider her wishes as far as 'discipline' was concerned, and he would use his violent, fundy methods on them as he wished, which supposedly included belts/electrical cords/switches (which are illegal in Canada). So she does not allow him to be near the children without her or her husband present. Pretty sad when the children require supervised visits with grandparents.
PS.... I would use a switch also if I did not have a belt or a paddle, I'm not hurting my hand trying to spank the bottom of a disobedient child by hitting his jeans...
If it's hurting your hand, you fucktard, just imagine how much it's hurting a small child!?
I think that using objects to punish your children is just a way to distance yourself from them and their pain. When your hand hurts, you can extrapollate that pain and realize how is your child feeling.
When using implements, there is no such connection...
My two cents, anyway.
I was never hit in my life, and basically my mom scares the living hell out of me. I was also an extremely well behaved child. You can command respect and not have to resort to hitting your kid
EDIT: I am an adult and I respect her, but she still scares me a lot. We have a good relationship, though. It was achieved through her NOT hitting me
It's not wise to hit your kids. They have long memories. After all, they get to choose which old peoples' home you go to in the future.
Want to end up in a shithole, with shit food, and shitty staff who treat you like shit, even beat you when you misbehave or if they're feeling stressed out, and need to take out that stress on someone weaker than them? Just keep going the way you are, kensington, if that's your attitude.
Welcome to your HELL.
I would use a switch also if I did not have a belt or a paddle, I'm not hurting my hand trying to spank the bottom of a disobedient child by hitting his jeans
Look up the Milgram experiments, particularly his variations on "immediacy" - I suspect that, consciously or otherwise, you use weapons rather than your bare hands to distance yourself from the pain you are inflicting so as to lessen the chance of feeling that what you are doing is wrong. I would hypothesise that actually feeling the pain you are inflicting through your hand would force you to experience something approximating empathy for your target.
My parents did spank me a few times, but I obeyed them for their psychological power over me. Dictators don't have to spank people to gain power. Parents don't have to either.
Also, are you that weak and lazy, that you'll do more damage rather than take off a pair of pants or take the collateral damage you deserve? Don't hit a kid if you're not willing to lose the hand you touch hir with.
Don't hit a kid if you're not willing to lose the hand you touch hir with.
This, in spades. Don't be confused when your child's friends come over one day and beat you to death. You'll probably crush any independent spirit, but it'll turn out badly for everyone.
Case in point, why would you do something to a small child that you'd get arrested for doing to a friend or spouse in public? Children need to understand pain so they don't mutate into a species of life known as "douchebags." But you don't have to give that pain to them via physical abuse. Words are enough. Spanking, maybe once.
my mother spanked me with a wooden spoon on rare occasions. She was always clear ahead of time that if I did or didn't do something she was going to spank me, and after the first few times, I usually listened.
Beating your child with a belt is evil, with a belt you don't have any way to judge how hard you're hitting them, with a stiff object or your hand you can feel how much force your hitting them with.
Every kid needs a good beating now and then. I know I got beaten when I needed it. Nothing wrong with a parent beating their kids senseless to get a message across to them. Like...if you are at a restaurant and your step father orders a coconut cream pie as dessert for you while you were away at the restroom and when you come back you see the coconut cream pie and you hate coconut and you refuse to eat it because it's disgusting. Now my step father says..eat it or i'll take you outside and beat you with my belt. Well I ate it...every last bit. I almost puked but I learned my lesson. One time I was in a swimming pool while it was lightning and thundering outside. My mother went to the pool and started screaming at us kids....then we got into the house and we lined in single file and took turns getting a good beating from her belt. We deserved a good beating because we could have died by electrocution. We learned our lesson and never played in the pool again while there was lightning outside.
One time when I was in 3rd grade I took my report card home and put it on the dresser.
It's ok for parents to beat their kids as long as there is a lesson to be learned.
^^^ Yeah, and that lesson is that if you don't obey immediately and unquestioningly, you'll be beaten. Black pedagogy in action: good for raising obedient soldiers (and future abusers)... and not much else. Your stepfather beating you for misplacing your report card was abuse. Too bad you took the blame, just like the abusive asshole wanted you to.
A protip; if it's too hurtful to you, an adult, then it's way too hurtful for a child, aka abuse.
Spanking and smacking are synonyms, stupid.
My parents never spanked any of their four children. They somehow managed to communicate to us what they wanted us to do and how they wanted us to do it, without beating it into us. But maybe they were overqualified; they were both teachers to future educationists, and genuinely love children, for their own sake, not because they are cute and cuddly.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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