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Quote# 60961

[A Muslim explains why masturbation is bad for you.]

Physical Health: A person who masturbates becomes weak and thin, palpitation increases and his memory becomes weak. The digestive system is impaired and inflammation of the lungs occurs. One may also become anaemic.

Sexual Health: Impotency is the natural outcome of masturbation. A boy who has indulged in the habit of masturbation is not capable of marriage when he grows up. If he does marry, his wife hates him and often husband and wife may divorce. If the woman is pious, she will become depressed and if she is not, she will resort to unlawful acts.

Psychological and Mental Health: A person who masturbates will suffer psychological problems and is liable to mental illnesses like forgetfulness, loss of memory, weak determination, preference for solitude, extreme shyness and fear, being sorrowful and possibly contemplate some serious crime or even suicide.


Unknown, Green Is My Color, Islam Is My Peace 93 Comments [3/28/2009 11:10:43 AM]
Fundie Index: 105
Submitted By: Robert
WTF?! || meh
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Katsuro

"A person who masturbates becomes weak and thin, palpitation increases and his memory becomes weak."

So why, when I masturbated so much through my teens (and later lol), did I reach the oh-so skinny weight of 27 stone by my early 20s? And why did I get the joint-best GCSE results my school ever had, seeing as school exams are essentially memory tests?

3/27/2009 3:33:07 PM

Iin

Oddly enough, all of the mental and psychological health effects ended as soon as I left religion. Once I accepted the scientific evidence that masturbation was not only normal, but indeed, a healthy activity, it has actually helped me to relieve stress.

And... most men in the States and in Britain masturbate. And yet, both the States and Britain have over 1/3 of their population who are considered obese, and well over half who are considered over-weight.

And... sexual health? Masturbation, in men, clears out old sperm. While the body would have eventually reabsorbed them, better to get rid of the junk if you plan on using it in the near future.

3/27/2009 7:00:21 PM

DCoke

Why is Muslim medicine taking tips from textbooks that were written BCE?

3/28/2009 6:25:40 AM

ausador

And you'll go blind and hair will grow on your palm, etc, etc...

3/28/2009 11:11:56 AM

Old Viking

I'm in deep doo-doo.

3/28/2009 11:14:57 AM

Dio Fa

Masturbation makes you thin?

Excuse me, I have to go to the washroom.

3/28/2009 11:20:06 AM

werewolf

I think , if you'll pardon me, that I disagree with these points. I like being alone so I don't bother people and I tend to forget where I live.

Sorry for expressing my opinion so forcefully but, on the other hand, he may be right. Who really knows what... What?

What was I saying? Oh yes, I think I'll just get out of everybody's way and kill myself.

3/28/2009 11:33:27 AM

Efrain

@ausador:
You might go blind, depends on your aim.

3/28/2009 11:37:15 AM

Vince

religion: side effects may include

stupidity
xenophobia
being an asshole
and making shit up

3/28/2009 11:48:27 AM

Captain Britannica

99 ... change hands ...

3/28/2009 11:53:47 AM

Mr. Fabulous

The All-New Masturabtion Diet! Wank every day and you'll see those extra pounds melt off, all for ZERO DOLLARS!

3/28/2009 11:59:56 AM

Old Scrotum

It lends credibility to the theory that Muslim suicide bombers a just a bunch of wankers.

3/28/2009 12:01:56 PM

Old Scrotum

Sorry, should be "are just........."

3/28/2009 12:06:38 PM

History Teacher

How often are these people masturbating? I'd think you'd have to be getting toward 30-40 times a day to have these results.

In which case, the intervention of a mental health provider is probably in order.

3/28/2009 12:16:35 PM

Alcari

Lying for Mohammed...

3/28/2009 12:18:09 PM

God

Hey, "Unknown".

Go fuck yourself.

3/28/2009 12:23:16 PM

mike-mike

1: No

2: No

3: No

3 strikes you out dumbass.

3/28/2009 12:23:23 PM

Mihangel apYrs

masturbation and sexual health:

regularly ejaculating reduces the risk of prostate concer

3/28/2009 1:01:16 PM

John

Apparently, when a man's body detects a hand instead of a vagina, it becomes weak and thin, palpitation increases, memory becomes weak, the digestive system is impaired and inflammation of the lungs occurs.

Oh, and you grow hair on your palms!

3/28/2009 1:03:59 PM

Canadia

Have fun with that prostate cancer. Unknown.

3/28/2009 1:05:16 PM

Papabear

"Physical Health: A person who masturbates becomes weak and thin, palpitation increases and his memory becomes weak. The digestive system is impaired and inflammation of the lungs occurs. One may also become anaemic."

At 6'4" tall and a svelte 324 lbs., I can assure you masturbation does not make one weak nor thin.

For prostate health, my urologist recommended ejaculation 2-3 times per week.

I note no citations are provided supporting these assertions. Surprise. Strike one.



"Sexual Health: Impotency is the natural outcome of masturbation. A boy who has indulged in the habit of masturbation is not capable of marriage when he grows up. If he does marry, his wife hates him and often husband and wife may divorce. If the woman is pious, she will become depressed and if she is not, she will resort to unlawful acts."

My ex-wife does not hate me, nor is she depressed or resorting to unlawful acts. Strike two, dipsh*t.


"Psychological and Mental Health: A person who masturbates will suffer psychological problems and is liable to mental illnesses like forgetfulness, loss of memory, weak determination, preference for solitude, extreme shyness and fear, being sorrowful and possibly contemplate some serious crime or even suicide."

I have an excellent memory. I am as determined are the situation warrants. I am not a loner. I am not exceptionally shy, fearful or sorrowful, and I have not commited and serious crime. Also, please note, I have not killed myself. Strike three, a**hat. You're out!

3/28/2009 1:16:37 PM

enna

Complete, shameless bullshit.

Why?!

3/28/2009 1:17:19 PM

rw23

That explains so much! Thank you. From now on, I'm keeping my hands off.

I'll just pay a woman to do it for me.

3/28/2009 1:18:30 PM



A person who masturbates becomes weak and thin
Wow, I'm opening a weightloss clinic with this information. Either that, or don't masturbate so much you forget to eat.




3/28/2009 1:24:39 PM



Refraining from masterbation makes you have sore balls and ejaculate in your sleep.

3/28/2009 1:33:11 PM
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