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#930368
Refraining from masterbation makes you have sore balls and ejaculate in your sleep.
3/28/2009 1:33:31 PM
#930371
Ken
By this "logic", sex is also bad for you.
Oh wait, it's a fundie. Of course anything sexual that does not produce babies is evil.
3/28/2009 1:45:40 PM
#930372
Elm
Well studies have proven that men have to "clear their pipes" out every so often to maintain optimal prostate health, so no, I don't think that anything this guy says is true. Plus it's an old way of thinking when it comes to sex.
I am a female and have been masturbating for as long as I can remember and I have no problems with memory. I'm 5'2" and weigh 183.5 lbs. I don't know what the benefits for females masturbating there are but there has to be something.
The mental disorders that I have are not caused by masturbation but more of genetics.
So you, Unknown, fail big time
3/28/2009 1:48:59 PM
#930376
Jesus Klingon
Masturbation leads to preference for solitude? I thought it was the other way around.
3/28/2009 2:07:40 PM
#930380
peabody
"Everything you know is wrong"
3/28/2009 2:16:10 PM
#930382
MPW
Oh, wow, this quote made me SO hard!
3/28/2009 2:17:28 PM
#930385
Evil Pirate Captain Mel
It would be funnier if people didn't actually believe this shit.
3/28/2009 2:22:06 PM
#930387
Sisyphus
Does the weight loss thing work for women as well? If so I have to go and buy some batteries.
3/28/2009 2:26:31 PM
#930402
JonnyTruant
When I was little, they just said it would make me blind. Who knew all this would be discovered since then. I guess I should quit masturbating, then.
3/28/2009 3:03:04 PM
#930416
Mihona
Uh... does the weight loss thing work for females too?
...A, uh, friend of mine wants to know. *shifty eyes*
3/28/2009 3:34:57 PM
#930427
EvoPagan
"Physical Health: A person who masturbates becomes weak and thin, palpitation increases and his memory becomes weak. The digestive system is impaired and inflammation of the lungs occurs. One may also become anaemic."
What are you doing it with, barbed wire?
"Sexual Health: Impotency is the natural outcome of masturbation. A boy who has indulged in the habit of masturbation is not capable of marriage when he grows up. If he does marry, his wife hates him and often husband and wife may divorce. If the woman is pious, she will become depressed and if she is not, she will resort to unlawful acts."
You've never been married, eh?
"Psychological and Mental Health: A person who masturbates will suffer psychological problems and is liable to mental illnesses like forgetfulness, loss of memory, weak determination, preference for solitude, extreme shyness and fear, being sorrowful and possibly contemplate some serious crime or even suicide."
Maybe even suicide...BOMBINGS???
3/28/2009 4:09:58 PM
#930465
Illuminatalie
Pitiful. Making up nonsense in fearful service of your God, which is nothing but an version of your own corrupt, capricious masters. Shunning everything that leads to sexual thoughts, leads naturally to women being encased in 'walking prisons', and men spending their time writing neurotic babble like this.
3/28/2009 6:20:55 PM
#930468
WMDKitty
What the hell, I have to say something.
Most doctors agree that masturbation is a *good* thing, if it's not done to excess, or done obsessively. (Or, for that matter, done in public.)
Why is pleasure such a Bad Thing to these people?
3/28/2009 6:24:43 PM
#930494
NonProphet
Papabear's Bolded Wisdom ftmfw.
3/28/2009 7:32:33 PM
#930537
Orion
@old scrotum: Nice call!
3/28/2009 8:36:36 PM
#930572
Pule Thamex
Says a puerile arsehole who masturbates his brain with calloused religious fingers and suffers from all the health problems he writes about.
Now a normal, virile, wanking-man, or woman, will avoid most of those problems and turn into the superior MIGHTY WANKOR! or WANKER WOMAN!
3/28/2009 10:10:07 PM
#930586
Blackvoice
Hm, I'm terrible with names and like solitude. But that's about it.
3/28/2009 10:34:33 PM
#930610
Hakar
"A person who masturbates will... preference for solitude"
Well duh, close those damn curtains!
3/28/2009 11:11:50 PM
#930666
Bull$hit
3/29/2009 2:14:32 AM
#930715
Lucretius
I was going to make a witty comment ...but I forgot what it was
3/29/2009 4:56:49 AM
#930720
This is why fundies feel the need to blow things up, beat their wives, etc.
3/29/2009 5:09:15 AM
#930731
????
I think the 1850s are missing somebody.
3/29/2009 5:16:51 AM
#930757
Sounds like tapeworms.
3/29/2009 6:00:17 AM
#930778
Selkie
Fail for too many reasons to enumerate here.
3/29/2009 7:02:18 AM
#930791
Buddt
If this nonsense was true .Then we are all pretty much fucked.
But aren't we'll so very Lucky and extremely happy this so far form the truth i .
This realy is a pile of hot steamy bullshit (religious superstitious nonsense).Served to you has sound medical advice.
So teenage boys accoss the world can rejoice
and whack. yank ,jerk or what ever you call-it way.And don't worry . You wont go blind .have hand your turn green , your finger wont grow hair and yours wife become cheating a cheating whore. just because you jerked off has kid or even last week .
3/29/2009 7:17:16 AM
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