Here's what I've learned from my sources.
Both Satan and Christ have incarnated on Earth a while ago. The rule
of Hell is left to Satan's son, Santanas. Who I have had the displeasure
of meeting personally in his lair, the 5th circle of Hell. He tortured my
soul.. for what seemed ages, before I was rescued. Luckily the memory
of the actual pain that was caused to me, was erased from my mind. I
was returned to my body after my rescuers broke the chains that held
me.
However, the Christ that has incarnated on Earth, is not the same Jesus
Christ from 2000 years ago, it is a different soul, but with the same
strength, the same abilities and probably even more.. because the battle
that is going to be fought in 2012, between the Christ and His forces, and
Satan and His forces, will be unlike anything this planet has ever seen.
104 comments
The rule of Hell is left to Satan's son, Santanas.
You've been misinformed. Carlos has been living on earth for the last 50 years looking for a black magic woman.
not the same Jesus Christ from 2000 years ago, it is a different soul, but with the same
strength, the same abilities and probably even more.
And 500 additional hit points.
will be unlike anything this planet has ever seen.
I highly doubt they will top the new star wars movies.
Okay, so you remember that you were tortured, but you don't remember the pain...
And you claim that Hell has circles, despite that being non-Biblical...
Santanas is ALSO non-Biblical...
Tell me, are you being ironic, or just being retarded?
If Christ is still part of the Trinity, then defeating any sort of evil is just a problem of saying, "Hey, I'm going to end your existence now since I own the universe".
It wouldn't be a battle as much as a jump cut.
Later in the thread:
My sources is basically the Light spirit world. Entities such as my own and
my friends spirit guides, Archangels such as Michael, Ascended Masters
such as St Germain. Me and my friend ask them questions about the near
and distant future. If we ask trivial questions such as: "what am I thinking
of now", or "which hand am I holding up now", or other questions that no
one else can know, we always receive the correct answer.
So, yes, the "sources" are the voices in Wehali's head.
It tells you something about how angry and violent the other quotes on FSTDT are that for this guy, who is clearly delusional, my reaction is:
Aww, poor guy. You're kooky, but you're not half-bad.
*head pats*
Still, a few meds might be in order.
@ Grigadil
Im guessing its a long quest, and that you need to be at least level 50 to make it....
But I think he used a cheat code XD
"because the battle
that is going to be fought in 2012, between the Christ and His forces, and
Satan and His forces, will be unlike anything this planet has ever seen."
Pfft. It's all damn PvP raids in WOW now. How about some more solo content?
He tortured my soul.. for what seemed ages, before I was rescued. Luckily the memory of the actual pain that was caused to me, was erased from my mind. I was returned to my body after my rescuers broke the chains that held me.
Falling asleep during an episode of Supernatural does not equal holy revelations.
O_o
...
BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!
Holy god. Is it legal or safe to have that much weapons-grade bolognium floating around in one's system? Doesn't it eventually cause bullshit poisoning?
Now that I think about it, this ranting may be a symptom of such.
Either way, holy fuck that's crazy.
Same abilities, like strength, dexterity, charisma, intelligence and wisdom. Does Jesus have feats and skills as well? Did Satan live in a Dungeon? No wonder the fundies think D&D is dangerous, look at what it did to this nut.
This summer, Jesus is back -- with a vengeance
*cue cheesy music from the band disturbed and action packed montage*
From visionaries Michael Bay and John Woo comes a movie of "god like" proportions.
Joaquin Phoenix as Jesus Digital, Yaphet Kotto as the Devil in Holy Wars - Genesis.
Rated R. Produced by Jerry Bruckheimer.
Best.
Movie.
Ever.
@OH Atheist:
You are right, the whole pointles crisis with more plotholes than hollywood action film is more of a Dc thing
@tracer
Loving the name!
Now we just need to brake it down in to a bunch of chapters sell them individually, make some more important than others and make the central story really crappy....
Wait... they did that with the bible....
crap there goes a good idea....
I shouldn't be saying this as it is a breech of copyright - but I found a leak on the internet regarding the new Christ.
Apparently compared to the previous Christ, he comes with a +2 to Strength & Toughness, he may cast up to 2 additional spells per turn and has a 3+ Ward save. So he can land 6 S6 attacks per turn - 7 attacks if you equip him with an extra hand weapon! Nerfed!
You know, WOW isn't actually a religion...
I love how the fundies are hopping on the 2012 bandwagon now. Since when did any of them give a dry fart about Mayan prophecy?
Satan had a crap ton of spawn in the Christian Mythology, and none of them were named "Satanas". If anything, hell would have been left in the control of his queen, Lilith, or Beelzebub, for Christ sakes . Fail.
(Just saying if you are going to write something about the mythology, at least get it right)
Might I ask why you were wandering around in the fifth level of hell?
And I call Poe on this one, it's too obvious.
That's a valid question right here -
Why the hell isn't anyone making any comedy christian movies about the apocalypse? I mean like I've seen Dogma, but like a Devil-Jesus Royale would be in for some epic lulz.
Sometimes it's insanely hard to tell these radically religious posts from troll posts. I suspect, and want to believe (no puns intended), that this is a troll, but I am very afraid that it might not be.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.