Yes. I will venture to say that it is a sin for a Christian to vote for anyone who doesn't recognize our Christian right to Christian marriage and Christian reproduction.
28 comments
Likewise, we shouldn't vote for anyone who would foolishly try to unilaterally disarm the Federation side of the Neutral Zone between us and the Romulan Empire.
What? Oh, that's just fiction? Well, that's okay then -- but still, to be on the safe side, don't vote for anyone who would do that, okay? Okay.
~David D.G.
Why not recognize it? I mean, getting married in a church and fucking in the missionary position with the lights off isn't worth trying to ban.
I'd rather spend my efforts on something more important, like defeating politicians who would deny others the right to get married somewhere other than a church and fuck in any position they want in any level of light.
Well... Anyone who tried banning Christians from marrying would be just a wee touch psychotic, so I don't suppose JC here is wrong. Maybe it wouldn't be a sin to vote for the guy, but I can't imagine he'd get more than 1% of any vote.
How do fundamentalists reproduce anyway?
Showing any scrap of flesh is a mortal sin since our apparently god-given bodies disgust them so much.
I always imagined fundies reproducing using spores. The male releases them, then the female dutifully cleans them up and hopefully impregnation happens before he beats her senseless again
Xian marriage = wait until your 30, then approach a fundie dad to buy his daughter for two goats. Failing that, rape her and pay her father 50 shekels. Women, be submissive, and if that means being a punchbag, tough titty.
Xian reproduction = strictly missionary, only at the 'correct' time of month. Remember, at any other time 'it' is a sin! Do not take pleasure, especially if you are female, because that makes you a dirty whore. No kissing, no foreplay, just [Dalek] im-preg-nate! [/Dalek]. Don't even THINK about looking at each other during this sinful act of the flesh - you will be making eye babies!
Excellent, and the moment someone has a platform saying Christians can't marry and reproduce, I will be standing at your side protesting such an appalling thing.
However, if your "Christian right to Christian marriage and Christian reproduction" mean that anyone you disagree with should be stripped of rights, that's a whole other issue, and you are both a fascist, and a hypocrite of the highest order.
@Princess Rot
A sheet with a hole in it should fix that last bit. Hmmm...an idea for Fundie Sexual aids arises...
"Yes. I will venture to say that it is a sin for a Christian to vote for anyone who doesn't recognize our Christian right to Christian marriage and Christian reproduction."
Chapter and verse, or be proven...:
image
PROTIP: The USA, nor what makes it what it is - the Constitution - isn't mentioned in the Bible. Y'know what isn't mentioned in the US Constitution? The words 'God'. Jesus. 'Creator'.
I love the smell of annihilated arguments in the morning. Smells like... victory.
Now why did I read the quoters' name as Joan Crawford?!
'Wire hangers?! I give you the best clothes money can buy, and you put them on WIRE HANGERS?!111ONE1eleventyone1 '
I bet John Crawford is as much a drama queen, fundie-wise.
What is "Christian reproduction"? If it's some other way than S-E-X, then I will vote against it, definitely.
However, as I'm an atheist, I guess it doesn't matter...
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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