Quote# 614

Still refuse to believe that the Bible is true? I pity you, and regret that your ticket to hell is non-refundable except at the Customer Service Desk of the Bible. I don't see how you refuse to believe that the service desk is right behind you, and refuse to turn around to look and see if it's true.

[?]Xenocrates, Blizzforums 22 Comments [9/1/2002 12:00:00 AM]
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Nice analagy.

10/3/2006 4:54:18 AM


That's a unique comparison. Unfortunately for you, the only thing behind me is the stereo. Trust me, I just checked.

2/21/2008 6:53:03 AM


I wish I had a stereo behind me -- all I have is my cat's litter box >.<

4/1/2009 12:55:04 AM

rubber chicken.

I don't refuse to believe that the bible is true. That implies that I have a choice in the matter. I cannot believe that the bible is true because it contradicts reality.

And thank you for your pity, I'll add it to my collection of Big Fucking Deal.

4/1/2009 1:02:40 AM

Table Rock

I went to the service desk but the representative was a jerk and totally unhelpful so I left.

4/1/2009 9:43:17 AM


I've tried to solve the analogy. It goes a little like this;

"Lol ur so pathetik. Read teh Bible, I put 1 behind u. See if it's tru k?"

I read it. It's bullshit.

Next analogy?

4/1/2009 10:33:59 AM


The difference between douchebags like you and a person like myself is that I believe what I believe because the evidence for my beliefs is overwhelming.

You believe what you believe simply because you want to, regardless of the evidence and, in fact, in spite of the evidence.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

4/1/2009 10:40:28 AM


...can't non-refundable tickets just be ignored anyway?

9/7/2010 3:34:53 PM


Then the service desk must be cunningly disguised as a sagging old bookcase full of old magazines.

9/8/2010 12:47:57 AM


What’s the point of reading the bible but being too dumb (undereducated) to understand it? Isn't that even worse than not reading the bible at all? And then the bible needs to be explained to you by pea brains like kent hovind, glen beck, enc enc. It’s even worse than the lame and blind being lead by the blind-def-mute.

9/8/2010 1:00:29 AM

David B.

I don't refuse to believe the bible is true, I can't believe the bible is true.

It is full of fantastic, contradictory, counter-intuitive tales that just don't marry up more than fleetingly and trivially with reality.

It'd be like believing everything in the Star Wars trilogy is literally true because you've seen people put their feet up on the table like Han Solo does.

This is supposed to be God's unerring declaration of the truth, remember, yet it is no more believable than Grimms' Fairy Tales. If I don't believe it it's because I find it, frankly, unbelievable.

Which is not my fault. Chalk that one up to whatever idiot put such a ludicrous mish-mash together as their sole scriptural source. Either him or whoever or whatever is responsible for my having a brain capable of coherent logical analysis.

9/8/2010 6:58:58 AM


"Still refuse to believe that the Bible is true? I pity you, and regret that your ticket to hell is non-refundable except at the Customer Service Desk of the Bible."

Meanwhile, on Planet Reality...

"I don't see how you refuse to believe that the service desk is right behind you, and refuse to turn around to look and see if it's true."

Q: Why is the Xbox 360 called that?

[/4chan /v/]

A: Because you turn three sets of 60° and walk away


(*turns around*)

Don't know about what Bizarro World you live in. Meanwhile, here on Planet Reality, all I see is the rest of my living room, [?]Xenocrates. Therefore...:

9/8/2010 9:52:17 AM


I don't believe in the bible, don't see that I have a ticket to hell, and won't participate in your stupid little mind game.

Most annoying is that you claim there's a service desk behind me, when there clearly isn't one. All I see when I turn around is another part of the flat I live in.

9/8/2010 11:03:58 AM

The Duelist

Great analogy. Why don't Christians ever practice what they preach?

9/8/2010 11:06:30 AM


Yours is not he only kind of purgatory, ya know. What about if one of the other hundred thousand, or so, myths is true and YOU end up in Hel, Hades or devoured by Ammit?

9/8/2010 11:29:08 AM


I turned around. I saw a wall.

9/21/2011 1:03:16 PM

Why do you "refuse" to believe that Scientology is true? Also, I just turned around; there's a window right behind me, but no service desk. And don't threaten people in debates anymore. Thanks.

9/21/2011 2:03:34 PM


There is no service desk behind me, and I am happy of it, because I would not want any pedophile preacher sitting in the same house my little brother is in....

4/11/2012 4:28:22 PM

Quantum Mechanic

Never actually read that pathetic work of fiction, have you?

1/3/2014 4:35:58 AM

Dr. Shrinker

What better way to promote the anti-materialistic teachings of Jesus than with an analogy that is dripping with materialistic imagery?

1/3/2014 6:29:06 AM

Crimson Lizard

Of course I refuse to turn around. I don't trust you not to stab me in the back while I'm looking for your imaginary desks.

8/20/2016 1:21:02 PM


There are those who refuse to believe that the Quran is true:


“I almost wish that there would be, like, a simultaneous telecast, and all Americans would be forced–forced at gunpoint no less–to listen to every David Barton message, and I think our country would be better for it. I wish it’d happen.”.

-Mike Fuckabee

I still don't see how you refuse to believe that the barrel of that AK-47 - or AR-15 - can never be right behind you.

ISIS. Talibangelists. No Difference.

...oh, and I live in the UK. State religion: Anglican Christianity. Also, Dunblane: 1996. That's the difference.

I pity you.

8/20/2016 5:08:49 PM

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